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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be upset that DH is not interested in Harry Potter

180 replies

Typinginbed · 12/05/2018 13:21

I’m a middle aged woman and for years I’ve loved all things Harry Potter. The books caught my imagination and the universal and uplifting themes appeal to me.

I wouldn’t say I’m a mega fan. I don’t know how to meet with other fans but once a year I dress up for Comic-Con. I read fanfiction in my spare time. I watched cursed child at the theatre (it was a good play but a shit story). I’ve been to the uk Harry Potter tours but would not go abroad for it. I hope I’m painting a clear picture.

I’ve been married for 15 years and my husband has not even read one of the books. It’s not that he is not a reader, he reads lots of fantasy etc. He even introduced me to Game of Thrones in the 90s before it was mainstream Grin and I watch that with him and have read the books.

He’s a football fan and I’ve bought him the novelty socks, gone to a few games. I don’t particularly enjoy it but I will be there when he’s watching it on tv sometimes, maybe playing on my phone or in and out of the room.

DH has never even read one HP book. He has only sat through part of one film as me and the DC were watching. He was talking over it and making annoying comments (e.g. when Hagrid comes on screen he will say ‘he could do with a trim!’ ‘Oh he’ll have someone’s eye out running with that wand!’ during a sad bit). We have the audiobooks but he won’t listen even.

He says ‘I’ll get round to reading them after xyz’ but for 15 years it hasn’t happened. I’ve told him it’s important to me.

AIBU to be hurt by this.

OP posts:
JellyBears · 04/06/2018 18:06

Your hurt because your husband isn’t interested in Harry Potter? That’s silly I’m sorry but is silly. I love Harry Potter and closest friend thinks it’s utter shit...who cares

Racecardriver · 04/06/2018 18:07

YABVU. It is a children's story. The books and films are fine for children, may great for children. But really shot of you are an adult (was deeply disappointed when I tried to read the ones I hadn't/rewatch the first film which I loved as a child). It really isn't fair to try to force him into enjoying something even though you do, especially when it is something that requires an element of childhood nostalgia to enjoy. I love steinbeck. Don't force my husband to read it though even though it would be nice to have someone to talk to about how much I love it.

Motheroffourdragons · 04/06/2018 18:09

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on behalf of the poster.

BoneyBackJefferson · 04/06/2018 18:14

As a teacher Harry Potter would be the sort of child that would piss me right off.

DuperDucks · 04/06/2018 18:14

agree Motherofdragons I tried to like harry potter but thought it was awful, completely overrated. Other Amazon reviewers got very angry when I once wrote a poor review on Amazon - Harry Potter cannot be criticised! My 9 year old son thought it was awful too. Don't get the attraction myself ....

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 04/06/2018 18:21

YABU and you sound rather needy. Nothing wrong with being into HP (that whole fantasy genre leaves me cold, but I can completely geek out at other things) but being hurt your DH isn’t interested? Sorry, that’s daft. Has it occurred to you that your insistence is putting him off? It would me.

FrancisCrawford · 04/06/2018 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

juneau · 04/06/2018 18:24

YABU - you can't insist he reads a bunch of kids books, just because you love them. I've read them all to my DS and thought they were drivel, so who's to say he'd enjoy them even if he did? I think you need to grow up tbh. Surely we all have things we love that our OH's don't care about? I know DH and I do and it doesn't matter, because we're both adults and we can have our own interests. If he wanted to dress up and go to something every year I'd cheerfully wave him off, but I'd be pretty pissed off if he insisted that I show an interest, unless I wanted to.

MadeleineMaxwell · 04/06/2018 18:25

Dh and I have a deal - we may or may not watch/be interested in the other's stuff, but we reserve the right to rip the shit out of it.

So I've sat through many a bladder-testing Marvel film including the sodding end bits, and he's been dragged to the HP film. Plus I made him sit through the extended LOTR trilogy. And carted him off to Lyme Park, made him wear a top hat and do his best smouldering pose (Pride & Prejudice/Colin Firth). Shit was ripped on all occasions. You've just got to make it fun for the other person.

SongforSal · 04/06/2018 18:26

My Dp worked on a couple of the films. I've never had an interest in them, and he's not offended.

inthekitchensink · 04/06/2018 18:31

I totally understand what you mean - it’s a love of yours that brings you joy and comfort and it would be great to share it with him. Mine won’t watch Buffy with me and that’s my happy place! But I hate football, craft ale and cycling, and grudgingly tolerate 70s prog rock so I’m sure he would say the same.

BertieBotts · 04/06/2018 18:35

Do you have children? I started reading the books with DS when he was 6. He is 9 now and halfway through book 4 and wants to discuss fan theories with me all the time, it's great :)

My DH is into anime and things like that. I have tried to watch them but no... I just can't get into it at all. Not for me. We have our own interests. And some that we share.

Namechanger1776 · 04/06/2018 18:48

Dh doesn't care a jot about Harry Potter. However he had a Harry Potter wedding, has a Harry Potter room in our house and doesn't bat an eyelid. Occasionally just tells me I'm going to far like when I tried to introduce the bedding. Takes me to the studio, concerts etc but admits he is bored silly by it.

Likewise if he wanted golf crap round the house I wouldn't care and I also wouldn't be interested.

Mirrorwriting · 04/06/2018 19:00

@RiverTamFan
How do you do Tumblr.

Mirrorwriting · 04/06/2018 19:02

I suppose I’m more hurt that he doesn’t take an interest in something I love. That’s all.

HairyToity · 04/06/2018 19:06

I love that you have a passion for Harry Potter. It is brilliant. Sorry that your husband doesn't attempt to even read it.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 04/06/2018 19:11

Bloody hell YABVVVVVVU. Really really unreasonable. He doesn’t get it. It would be like watching paint dry. Leave the poor guy alone.

Poloshot · 04/06/2018 19:40

Is this a wind up?

StripeyDeckchair · 04/06/2018 20:08

YABU
Harry Potter is a children's series of books, not that well written and the later volumes certainly needed better editing.

EastMidsMummy · 04/06/2018 20:11

I sometimes wish grown ups were like the grown ups of my youth who enjoyed posh grown up things like Shakespeare and classical music or less posh grown up things like James Bond or Catherine Cookson but who didn’t get pissed off because their spouses didn’t share their love of the Famous fucking Five or Andy bloody Pandy. Grow the fuck up, everyone.

Yogafailure · 04/06/2018 20:16

I've a friend who is a Harry Potter obsessive. It's very wearing listening to her as none of the group really care, not that it bothers her. I've read the books with/to my dc, I've read a couple to classes, and they're okay but I don't find them huge literary masterpieces. My DH loves Warhammer and Sci-fi but doesn't expect me to watch/read/care either way. I like things he doesn't and I don't give a fig what he thinks. The last thing I want when watching Strictly is him talking, chewing breathing near me.

littleemma1 · 04/06/2018 20:23

HP is definitely NOT just aimed at children. I have "grown up" with the books and am still a huge fan as a woman in my late 20's. My mum is in her late 50's and is also a huge fan.
The fact that 11 years after the last book was released and there is still such "hype" should say something, shouldn't it?
I do agree with others though @Typinginbed, YABU to be hurt/upset with him. My soon-to-be husband can only just sit through a film with me and point blank refuses to read the books but I dont hold it against him. What would annoy me more is if I patiently sat through a film that is not my type but he would not do the same. Thats rude and not fair to expect you to do it but not himself.

ReservoirDogs · 04/06/2018 20:30

If I were your DH i wouldn't bother either.

BoneyBackJefferson · 04/06/2018 20:51

littleemma1
The fact that 11 years after the last book was released and there is still such "hype" should say something, shouldn't it?

The same could be said about Lord of the rings but I dislike them as well.

EastMidsMummy · 04/06/2018 22:42

The fact that 11 years after the last book was released and there is still such "hype" should say something, shouldn't it?

Yeah, it says they are still very popular children's' books, for children.