AIBU to be upset that DH is not interested in Harry Potter

[Typinginbed]

I’m a middle aged woman and for years I’ve loved all things Harry Potter. The books caught my imagination and the universal and uplifting themes appeal to me.

I wouldn’t say I’m a mega fan. I don’t know how to meet with other fans but once a year I dress up for Comic-Con. I read fanfiction in my spare time. I watched cursed child at the theatre (it was a good play but a shit story). I’ve been to the uk Harry Potter tours but would not go abroad for it. I hope I’m painting a clear picture.

I’ve been married for 15 years and my husband has not even read one of the books. It’s not that he is not a reader, he reads lots of fantasy etc. He even introduced me to Game of Thrones in the 90s before it was mainstream and I watch that with him and have read the books.

He’s a football fan and I’ve bought him the novelty socks, gone to a few games. I don’t particularly enjoy it but I will be there when he’s watching it on tv sometimes, maybe playing on my phone or in and out of the room.

DH has never even read one HP book. He has only sat through part of one film as me and the DC were watching. He was talking over it and making annoying comments (e.g. when Hagrid comes on screen he will say ‘he could do with a trim!’ ‘Oh he’ll have someone’s eye out running with that wand!’ during a sad bit). We have the audiobooks but he won’t listen even.

He says ‘I’ll get round to reading them after xyz’ but for 15 years it hasn’t happened. I’ve told him it’s important to me.

AIBU to be hurt by this.

I'm always trying to convince others of the brilliance that is Potter. My dh won't read the books (he isn't much of a reader) but he has at least watched all the movies.

It probably annoys me a bit that some people dismiss my insistence that potter is fab. I mean, if someone really recommended a tv show or movie to me, i would at least watch a bit.

YABU but I decided to read the first Harry Potter as it was free on the Kindle and I’m now on the fourth. Isn’t something I’d usually read as it was aimed at kids but I’m enjoying them

Oh, and I’ll never watch the films.

I'm not going to lie, I'd find it very hard to get along with someone who didn't love the books as much as I do. Not specifically because of the books, but because I'd be wary that it might be indicative of other personality traits that may not be my cup of tea (dislike of reading, lack of imagination, over practical etc. etc.). Obviously this isn't a hard and fast rule, and there will be exceptions.

That said, I do think you're being a bit U though if you've already married him and it's been 15 years and you get on fine in all other respects.

If you haven't guessed, I'm a huge fan of the books. They were a defining part of my childhood and growing up (yes I was bookish and didn't get out much).

my guilty pleasure is watching trashy TV shows like Real Housewives. my DH hates them and if he’s in while they’re on he makes comments through them too

My BF does this, constantly saying they all sound like they're on helium. Doesn't bother me, I just ignore him!

Me and DP have very different interests and they don't cross-over much, but I do try to have some kind of background/vague knowledge of it and try to show some interest (not all the time!) when he discusses it with me. I expect the same in return. I'm not saying we get really into them, it's just so that there can be a bit of small-talk about our separate interests from time to time. We're both guilty of going on a bit of a rant about them and boring eachother at times though!

I wouldn't say I would go to the lengths of reading an entire book series though! I might Google it and just see what it's all about, even if it doesn't spark my interest, but that's about it really.

And I'm a big HP fan myself. Daughter has the name of a character fgs

Wut

I wasn't aware until joining Mumsnet that it was illegal for an adult to read a book aimed primarily at children. Oh no, wait, it's not illegal is it? It's a matter of personal choice. Why do some people get so het up about other peoples' preferences?
I think it would be nice for DH to at least try one, but not essential. I wouldn't be upset.

People who don't read children's literature at all are missing out on some wonderful books.

it might be indicative of other personality traits that may not be my cup of tea (dislike of reading, lack of imagination, over practical etc. etc.). Obviously this isn't a hard and fast rule, and there will be exceptions.

@plummanjelly How on earth can you deduce those traits from someone not liking the HP books? If this is really what you think, I'm afraid it's your imagination which might be lacking.

I like your husband

My DH loves Harry Potter too. I've never read the books and I've seen one of the films, it bored me unfortunately. Not my cup of tea! I'm sure DH would love it if I liked it as much as he does but we have different tastes and that's okay.
I love Disney films. My DH has seen a few now thanks to the kids but wouldn't actively sit and watch them with me before they came along. We did however go to Disney World for our honeymoon and he absolutely loved it. I've promised we will go to the Harry Potter park at Universal at some point.
We have other things we enjoy together.

My DH doesn’t like Terry Pratchett. I sometimes wonder how I married such a philistine, but we muddle along.

Everyone is an individual and as such will have their own preferences. We can’t force people to like the same as us. As long as doesn’t try to stop you reading/watching HP I think YABU.

LTB

I love HP, I happily re read the series twice/three times a year, and dd1 is slowly getting into it too.
In fact I like all fantasy- YA mostly (love dystopian stuff) but discworld/game of thrones/hobbit/dr who/LOTR all fantastic. You get my drift

Dh watched 10 minutes of the matrix once, that was his one and only foray into sci-fi/fantasy, but we’ve been happily together for about 11 years without any problems :)

I think yabu, go online and you’ll meet lots more like minded souls, some people just have different interests

Recent studies have shown that Harry Potter fans are generally nicer humans. Research suggests that we are more tolerant towards others, have stronger morals and less likely to be prejudiced against minority groups.

Me and the kids sorted him into a house on pottermore. He was Slytherin- figures

I have no interest in HP at all, have never thought to read or watch it. My DH and children also have no interest. I find it astonishing how obsessed some people on this thread are, that they wouldn't be with their partner or be friends with people who aren't interested I just hate 'fads' and when a big fuss is made of something, I feel bored of it without even having seen it. I feel the same about the shades of grey fad, the frozen movie (never seen it) and even Ed Sheeran as he is all I bloody hear about in work! Therefore I wish to avoid these things when possible!

A fad? For coming up to 21 years? Nope.

YANBU I love Harry Potter and my DH and DC do not However when we went to Florida last year for three weeks everyone really enjoyed it. We had fast passes so went on all the rides and the train loads. A few days in the DC even purchased the interactive wands. I was so happy 😀

Aren't you clever though, never trying anything just because other people like them? 🙄

Why would you bother watching footy if you don't like it? Why can't you just leave him to it and spend that time doing something for yourself?

It's a shame he doesn't share your interest, but there's not a lot you can do about it. In my experience, trying to force someone into enjoying something makes them resist further, so it's probably best to accept it's never going to happen and get past it for your own happiness at least.

I will say that you're missing a trick in not visiting Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida if you're a big Harry Potter fan. My husband took the kids off outlet shopping and I spent a morning travelling on the Hogwarts Express between Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley doing the spells in the shop windows before lunching alone in the Hogs Head (ribs & corncob washed down with Butterbeer) and it's one of the happy memories I tap into on a boring Monday morning. I wouldn't say I'm a massive Harry Potter fan. Have read the books once each and probably watched the films twice each in total, but The Wizarding World of Harry Potter is absolutely amazing and definitely worth saving up for if you can.

It's everywhere, like the Kardashians with broomsticks.

Look, OP, he doesn't 'owe' you a HP enthusiasm because you bought him novelty Arsenal socks.

YANBU. It's enjoyable to share things we love with the people we love. I managed to get DH into Harry Potter after years but he's still being frustratingly resistive to The Hunger Games.