Annoyed by neighbour's kids

[LittleMermaidRose]

Maybe I'm just being mean or something but..
Every time me or dp are out in the garden, our upstairs neighbours seem to come out within minutes.

We have a 3ft fence separating or gardens which we put up last year, but there is one panel that is removable to allow us access through their garden if we ever need to bring our garden waste bin round for example, which we only used a couple of times when we first moved in.

The kids (around age 5 & 3) are constantly trying to climb the fence, remove the panel, and ask every time to come in to our garden. We don't have any kids & we don't want to babysit them (I have a feeling that's why their mother brings them out at the same time we go out) as she has once before told them to go into our garden as she was busy! I never said anything at the time at I was caught off guard.

It's getting a bit much for me. I want to be able to spend time in my own garden without being harassed by the kids all the time. I've told them a few times that we're busy, so they can't come over. But still they continue to ask.

I'm not good at confrontation so I don't know what else to say. They're lovely neighbours otherwise so I don't want to cause problems. I just want my own space.

Tricky - like you I hate confrontation and wouldn’t want to upset my neighbours but this would totally piss me off. Can you put something on the other side of the removable panel so they can’t get in?

Can you get a 6ft fence instead or plant something thorny along the existing one. I'd ask the kids not to climb on it in case they hurt themselves or break it (if it's your fence)

Have a word with the mum. Or set up a windbreak/trellis panel/gazebo. Or tell the DC firmly once that no thank you, you just want to enjoy some peace then ignore. Or all of the above. Don’t think of being gently firm as confrontational.

They're not that lovely, if they keep trying to palm their kids off on you!!

Or tell them a monster lives in your garden and it's not safe for kids

play lots of eminem and other rap songs filled with cuss words, sing along and really sing the mother fucking and fuck this fuck that bits... when i had 7 kids from across the road keep coming over and trashing my house, i put on eminem nice and loud and told the kids to tell mum and dad that shaking lets them listen to eminem... they stopped coming over

Could you plant some very unsuitable plants in your garden, with nice big thorns 😁

Invoice her for childminding fees, actually itemised as a bill and hand it to her with a poker straight face

I also agree they’re not “lovely” they’re cheeky fuckers.

Turn the fence panel into a gate lcokable on your side.

Be really firm with the kids and tell them they’re not allowed in your garden. Kids tend to respond better when they have clear rules. best case scenario is they repeat what you said back to their mum and she’ll get the idea.

Get a bigger fence, refuse every single time.. 'oh no, you can't come around here, it's very boring and nothing for you to do'.

Put a bolt on your side low down so kids can't reach over the fence and undo it, and put trellis along the existing fence so they can't climb on it.

Play the sound of a big snarling dog whenever they go near the fence. That would put my kids (similar ages) right off!

Well we put up the fence last year (it's more like willow screening) but I grudge having to pay to put another one up.

We saved up for a long time so we were able to buy nice garden furniture, & we spend a lot of time on looking after the garden. I don't want the kids coming in & destroying it or jumping on our furniture.

We do have a lot of prickly rose bushes though so perhaps planting more is the answer!

Neighbours seem to think it's cute when they ask to come in our garden, but surely they realise that we don't want to spend time with their kids?

People can be incredibly blind about their own D.C. and what is “cute” or not.

OP they are simply offloading their kids onto you. If you allow their children into your garden and one of them has an accident and is injured won't YOU be held responsible?
I'd go round and tell neighbour frankly that you do not want their children in your garden, and if they come in uninvited they will be trespassing.

After all, if you wanted kids in your garden you could have your own!

Reading between the lines it sounds like you are not being clear. I agree with the PP who said that the kids need firm boundaries.

What are you currently saying to them? Is it wishy washy? If you say clearly, "no you can't come in our garden, we are busy, bye!." that is clear and to the point. Walk away. You don't have to say it horribly.

Yes I suppose I'm not being firm enough. "Oh not just now, we're busy cutting the grass" or something along those lines are my usual responses.

I expect the parents to tell them "no" before I need to, as they can clearly see we're busy or even just relaxing!

I also feel like they might think we really like their kids because we are friendly to them (but we're just friendly people in general) so maybe they think it's ok with us for them to come & play. But we have never expressed a desire to spend time with them, & when we do speak in the garden we don't stop what we're doing just to have a chat.

Ugh sorry for the rant, it's just beginning to really stress me out! I don't want to be mean.

6ft fence!

'No you can't come in, that's your garden, this is mine' - nice and clear.
If that doesn't work - 'will you go away!'
And failing that 'oh for fuck's sake!'

Laughing at the 6ft fence ideas or mental image of something like the hedge of thorns out of Maleficent!

Have a joint in the garden.

Tell them to ask Mum where babies come from

That'll stop mum sending them over.

I had this in my old house. I moved. Would have got a new fence but garden was 50 foot long. Fences are really pricey!

I'd probably put up a new fence with a lockable gate. It's worth it if it stops the hassle. And if the kids ask to come in just say No very rudely (loud enough for parents to hear). If they persist just tell them to Go Away. There's no point having manners with CFs!