Annoyed by neighbour's kids

[LittleMermaidRose]

Maybe I'm just being mean or something but..
Every time me or dp are out in the garden, our upstairs neighbours seem to come out within minutes.

We have a 3ft fence separating or gardens which we put up last year, but there is one panel that is removable to allow us access through their garden if we ever need to bring our garden waste bin round for example, which we only used a couple of times when we first moved in.

The kids (around age 5 & 3) are constantly trying to climb the fence, remove the panel, and ask every time to come in to our garden. We don't have any kids & we don't want to babysit them (I have a feeling that's why their mother brings them out at the same time we go out) as she has once before told them to go into our garden as she was busy! I never said anything at the time at I was caught off guard.

It's getting a bit much for me. I want to be able to spend time in my own garden without being harassed by the kids all the time. I've told them a few times that we're busy, so they can't come over. But still they continue to ask.

I'm not good at confrontation so I don't know what else to say. They're lovely neighbours otherwise so I don't want to cause problems. I just want my own space.

Get that 6 foot fence ASAP!

Just simply tell the children to go back to their own garden they are not your responsibility I’m pretty sure the mum wouldn’t protest if you did

How have they been today? Yanbu. Get some trellis for the top of the fences and be firm with them 'we are busy, you need to stop interrupting us.'

I think you should keep your bins out front. Is the access through their garden on the deeds?

"Give them a kazoo each and tell them they are for indoors only."
@UpstartCrow, you are a genius! Thank you for making me cackle

Also loved the Eminem suggestion from earlier.

I love you witty people!

OP, your neighbours have parental rose-coloured glasses on. They may just not realise how this is making you feel. Just tell them. Don't stew on it, just say that you need your privacy in the garden, and you don't want to snap at the kids but they're very persistent so please could neighbours explain to them that you each have your own gardens.

I upset my neighbors accidentally - different things though . It was an unfortunate combination of me being a bit slow to catch on and insensitive, and them being very sensitive and not wanting to say anything. I was mortified when they eventually snapped and said that X and Y were really annoying them. I wished they'd told me earlier so I could have fixed it straight away - I'd genuinely had no idea.

Get a big dog which barks but doesn’t bite. Or get a big water pistol.

Put a lock on your side of the fence and ignore the kids if they try and engage with you.

Add a 3ft trellis to the top of your fence. Grow climbing roses up it. Will look delightful and will put off the little climbers at the same time. Godo luck OP

Put your headphones on, sunglasses too and just pretend to be completely oblivious, the mother will soon twig and tell the kids to leave you in peace.

Personally I would break that panel just enough to require replacing. Put up a slightly higher one afterwards. I think it's pretty ridiculous that a parent cannot see when there kids are not welcomed. Your not being horrible there is a reason why garden fences were invented to create a private space for the resident of the home.

Be firm or they'll sue you when the kids come into your garden and hurt themselves.

I have the same with next doors 5 year old. He climbs up to sit on the wall by a 6 foot fence and watches us. I find it kinda creepy. I'm 30 weeks pregnant and just want some peace and privacy after working 8 hours a day. I keep saying I'm gonna teach him some swear words 😂

This is soooo annoying, I would never allow my kids to keep making a nuisance of themselves like that, and if they are only 3 and 5 they don't know any better, I suppose they think you are nice adults so they aren't getting the hint. I'd tell the parents that they will have to grab the kids and stop them bothering you as your doing something important for work or college and need to be able to relax and you shouldn't have to do it inside if the weather is nice. Its really hardt to be mean to kids I don't care what you say. Its their parents I'd be more miffed at. Reminds me of the time on a flight to Florida with dh when we were childless and young, a little kid , cute alright, turned around in his seat at beginning of flight and of course we said hello and smiled and what not, he literally did not leave us the fuck alone for the 9 hours , I was nearly bald come landing, his mother never even bothered to try get him to leave us alone, literally would not stop talking , pointing , throwing his teddy, peekaboo etc. Jesus I nearly had a stroke

We had this situation . Moved house and found there was a “handy” gate between our house and our neighbours so that kids could come and go. Not noticed it before. I opened curtains at 7.30am to find neighbours in our garden on our slide etc .I just wanted to drink my tea in peace at that time in morning not watch someone else’s kids play in my garden . The mum who worked from home had encouraged it . In our case its obviously nice to have kids over to play with our kids but invariably it was not at a time of our choosing, it was a bit one sided and frankly the neighbours kids weren’t that friendly with our kids- they just wanted to play on our things. After a while we got so fed up that we put a bolt on the gate from ourside . Told them insurers required it . It nipped it in the bud. Future play dates were made by arrangement. I’m all for spontaneous play dates but it was the loss of control and unexpected extra kids and antisocial hours that I didn’t like. Bolt is still there but they’ve moved on! Do put a bolt and / or establish some sort of ground rules. They sound like they would happily lift their children over your fence so best to be clear on what works for you and what doesn’t. Good luck .

Don't get a water pistol, they'll think you're playing with them!

We put wood fence panels up after having a similar experience. Wish we hadn't a few years later as the kids constantly kicked a ball against it and eventually broke it.

The mother got pissed off at us as we'd asked her politely to not keep sending her kids around all the bloody time we were out, so I think that's why our fence had the shit kicked out of it.

In the meantime I grew a nice hawthorn hedge alongside it. It's a bugger to keep tidy with all the spiky thorns and in general looks awful with gaps in the panels, but what price peace and quiet (though not so much of that with a thumping ball or eight)?

Knock this on the head now. With the better weather I assume you will want to entertain in your garden and don’t want small uninvited guests.

On the other hand have guests round, light a barbecue and a couple of fire pits. 5 and 3 years old are tender young meat. Yum yum.

Give them haribo, lots of haribo and fizzy pop every time they come in. Then send them home 😂😂

Plant a picky shrub/berry plant and sort out your yard rubbish differently.

Our garden gate was low and next doors little ones kept hanging over it disturbing us so we nailed trellis to the tops and covered it honeysuckle,it spreads fast and drapes and covers everything. Heard little one once asking where we'd gone and we said 'still here sweetie just giving mummy and daddy some privacy'. Problem solved. We've had no awkwardness. Cover it all up lovely and enjoy you peace in your garden xx

Just tell the parents you want some peace.

We’ve been super lucky in that we’ve always had neighbours who we have become great friends with so during summer we’ll pop in each other’s gardens with kids/grandkids but that’s always before checking it’s ok & if anyone ever says they want peace/are busy etc we would never be offended!

You have to do something ,the parents are taking the piss .
just say to the kids when they ask , ‘ sorry you’ve got to stay in your own garden ‘.Id try ignoring them after you’ve said it once.Put some headphones in ,pretend your asleep ,have a loud convo with your partner and just act like they’re not there .They might get the hint

If your email relaxing, why don't you just say "not today, we've been at work all day and now we're relaxing"? Just because they're children doesn't mean you can't tell the truth.

It sounds like you spend a lot of time tending your garden and it might be useful to have someone to water the plants while you're on holiday. Could you spend some time when you have 5 minutes to have them in the garden and show them about how to take care of plants and to respect the things in your garden? As these children get older and their kicking footballs at your plants and staying out late with their excited friends while you try to relax after a hard week, having them on your side might make all the difference.

I think you missed the point gingham. The op doesn't want to share her garden with her neighbour's DC. It's her private space.

This is completly inappropriate!! What awful annoying behaviour! This would drive me mad! No the OP isnt beint too vague or soft, the cheeky fucking parents know fine well their kids are being pests!
Op you cant afford a fence so I would ha e a firm chat with this neighbour because its taking the piss out your boundaries and the kids are constantly shouting over at you! Are they council? If so report them for anti social behaviour x