To think I've been backed into a corner?

[DippyDiplodocus]

So the story goes:

I'm getting married to my fiancé in September this year.

Getting married at a small hotel. There are a limited amount of rooms which have been reserved for certain special guests I.e bridesmaids, best man and family so we can all have a nice breakfast the morning after the wedding. We wanted this to kind of be an extension of the wedding celebrations but for it to be a little more intimate with a select few special people.

Fast forward to today.

I remind two of my four bridesmaids that the rooms are due for payment soon - this has all been pre arranged and agreed upon by them months and months ago.
They were both happy to pay to stay in the rooms and so I reserved one each for them and put non refundable deposits down on both rooms in order to secure them.

They now mention that they have asked another wedding guest plus her husband, who were not on the list of people who were to stay, if they would like to stay the night in the hotel and join in with the supposed intimate breakfast the next morning. This is the first I have heard of such an offer as I had never intended for the guests in question to stay over with us.

AIBU to be majorly pissed off about this?

Obviously I like the guests but we only wanted a select few with us. I now feel as though I've been backed into a corner and have to offer these people a room because they have been pretty much promised it by the bridesmaids without first consulting me or my fiancé.

Not only that but I've now got to re-jig all the rooms for the guests to accommodate this new couple, which is a ball ache but not impossible.

I just feel really frustrated that this has happened behind my back, five days before the rooms should be finalised. I feel like it's quite rude to just assume that my fiancé and I wouldn't mind so just advised this couple they can have what they like.

For context I'm also 26 weeks pregnant, tired, in pain with SPD, Working full time, did I mention tired, trying to organise the final stuff for the wedding, trying not to stress.... argh!

Hope it works out

'can't get my head around a couple being invited to someone's wedding, and then being treated as uninvited guests at the next day's breakfast 

Quite

Hardly an intimate little breakfast

Doubt 2 more of your guests would make much difference.

What a load of energy wasted

I think 18 is a small number for a part of a wedding in this day and age. I had a very tiny wedding myself, but I recognise that this isn't for everyone.

I also think it's up to the bride and groom who they invite to different parts of the day. No-one should muscle in on any part of the event to which they aren't invited. I think it's increasingly common for people to have the next day -sometimes even several days - spent with chosen groups of friends/family who have travelled in to make the event.

well done OP, stick to your guns and I hope you have a wonderful day!

Why aren't peoole reading OPs posts?? It isn't just a hotel that any Tom Dick and Harry can book a room at! It's a venue with exclusive use for the bride and groom.

We're reading, we're just disagreeing. It's weird.

Mostly because people like to pile in.

I've spoken to the BMs and explained why I was disappointed etc. They are going to speak to the other couple and explain wires have been crossed.

Oh my God, that's shameful. Aren't you at all embarrassed to have said to your wedding guests "no you're not good enough to come to the intimate breakfast of 18 people where we'll all be laughing at Uncle peregrine's hat"?

Why should she? It's a private family and wedding party breakfast. They were not invited. It's like me inviting my friends for lunch at someone else's house.

Why should she? It's a private family and wedding party breakfast. They were not invited. It's like me inviting my friends for lunch at someone else's house.

Agreed. OP booked these rooms for her close family and paid deposits on them. The rooms weren't the bridesmaids to give away until they paid the monies for them.

It's like me inviting my friends for lunch at someone else's house

No, more like a restaurant where you pay your own

Breakfast isn't part of the wedding day. It's breakfast.

Why should she? It's a private family and wedding party breakfast. They were not invited. It's like me inviting my friends for lunch at someone else's house.

Only if you were paying to stay at their house, and you'd all been together at a party the night before and the people you invited were told they have to fuck off at the end of it and not come back for breakfast!

You could say they can stay the night but not allowed to come to the breakfast as they're not invited.

you could, if you wanted to be an uber-dick.

What's happening with the rooms then OP? Are BMs going to share or are they back to one room each?

GorgonLondon, did you read the OP's explanation of why she knows her induction date? Back the fuck off.

OP, YANBU. There was an agreement and the BMs went back on it. I'm glad they are going to speak to the other couple. They caused the problem and they should sort it out.

GorgonLondon, did you read the OP's explanation of why she knows her induction date? Back the fuck off.

Agree - I'm a little astonished not to have seen anything from GorgonLondon acknowledging it. And an apology wouldn't have gone amiss either.

Some might be hung over that they don't make breakfast?

GorgonLondon - aren't you at all embarrassed?

dowagercunt no?

@rookiemere - I've called the hotel and re-arranged the rooms so the BMs are now in one room together.

I have explained to them that the spare room is being occupied by another family member now as there was a back up/waiting list (which there is) so that should hopefully be the empty room filled, providing the family member still wants it and hadn't arranged alternate accommodation.

Asked them as I haven't had any dealings or contact regarding this with the other couple if they would mind to just say wires were crossed and there isn't a room available now as it was promised to someone else first, which is only fair in my opinion.

Yes @GorgonLondon an apology or acknowledgement would be nice but not essential. I won't lose any sleep over it.

When my sister married, just before the ceremony I arranged for her closest female friends to pop in for a glass of prosecco, picture and cuddle (she asked me to).

Now there were a great many other ladies attending the wedding, all ladies my sister likes but most were not invited up.

Surely it's acknowledged that there are levels in terms of friendship and closeness and the people you might invite to your wedding wouldn't necessarily also ALL be the people you want to share an intimate meal with the day after?

If they are then I can't change that @Allthewaves - no one knows what will happen the morning after for definite, I can only arrange things within the realms of reasonable possibility. I'm not going to lose my shit if people don't make it because they're hanging, I'll just joke about it with them later.

Breakfast (and breakfast for 18, at that), is not really an intimate meal.