To ban this man from my cafe?

[OrangeJam]

Have NC as I've spoken to people in RL about this.

I promise I'm not the poo troll.

There's a man that's been coming in to my cafe every morning for a few weeks now.

He orders a coffee and sits doing work on his laptop at 8.30 when I open up.

Every FUCKING DAY he does a massive shit in the toilet and leaves a mess everywhere. It's utterly disgusting and I obviously have to deal with it. I'm normally there on my own as I don't get many customers at that time of day, but today a lovely woman was in with her baby and went to use the toilet after him.

She obviously didn't use it and I had to profusely apologise. He was the only other person there so it was obviously him. He could hear me talking to her and just sat there, not an ounce of embarrassment. I'm actually getting really anxious about this now and I don't know what to do. It's horrible. It's a horrible way to have to start my day, every day.

I want to ban him but I'm too "nice" and REALLY don't want the confrontation. It feels so awkward.

Help! I don't know what to do.

I read a very amusing book about travelling called no shitting in the toilet. It was a sign in a cafe in China.

Yeah, I was totally up in arms for you but now that you've said you don't have a loo brush, I understand his point of view. How would he clean up if there is no toilet brush available? Is he supposed to use his bare hands to wipe shit with wads of toilet paper?

I would as other posters have suggested stick a big sign up in bold don’t complete with picture of a toilet: ‘Clean toilet after use and leave as you find it’ or something more childish such as: ‘If you poo as we do after you flush please use the brush!’ You could always put sign up last thing at night and take it down after this dirty individual has vacated the building!

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Oh OP. As a perennially non-confrontational person I really really feel for you: I would personally want to ban this man but would also shy away from addressing it. I can also see you want to cause minimal inconvenience to your other customers too. If I were you, I think I’d open at 9 for a week, and put up an “out of order” sign plus locked loo every morning till 10am, just for that same week. He may or may not get the message, but it will certainly break his “routine” which is the big problem here. With any luck he’ll have a new favourite cafe to work in (lucky them). Sorry you have had to deal with this horrible situation

@OrangeJam

I've been in many cafes where there has been no toilet so an out of order sign might be a very good idea!

Switch your wifi off when he's there as it sounds like he's using it to do his work.

If you don't shut the toilet off, put a big sign on the back of the door saying for the facilities to be left as they are found. Repeated disgusting offenders will be banned from the premises.

Alternatively lock him in there so he dies of fumigation from his own stench!

Yeah, I was totally up in arms for you but now that you've said you don't have a loo brush, I understand his point of view. How would he clean up if there is no toilet brush available? Is he supposed to use his bare hands to wipe shit with wads of toilet paper?

What's the problem with that? I assume he's used said bare hands to wipe said shit off his bum, and (we can hope) washes his hands? You don't have to use wads either, a decent thickness to avoid contact is sufficient. As when wiping your bum!

I'd do what monkeymamma says and open later for a week or two in the hope of breaking his routine. You say it's normally only him in there at 8.30 anyway so you won't be losing much income. You can still be there doing your preparations just don't unlock the door. Can you keep a discreet eye on the front door from the kitchen, wait till he's arrived, found you closed and gone on his way, then open up?

I'm still laughing at the poster who wrote "headline: man banned from cafe for doing a poo - in the toilet!" 😂

But yeah, that's just grim and you don't have to put up with it. Ditch him. Loads of ideas on here, use one of them. I like the suggestion to open a bit later for a week. Or just work out how to cut off the wifi for customers until after 10. People who go to cafes to use wifi all morning for the cost of a coffee are cheeky fuckers anyway.

OP! I couldn't cope with shit man, for the price of a coffee!
Tell him, "I am not serving you in my premises any more".
If he asks why, "The state you leave the loo every day" .
Ex Pub Landlady here!
If anyone had pulled that trick, coming in every day for one drink, shitting my loos up and stinking them out.
They'd have been barred!
It's not worth the hassle of you cleaning them or the upset to other customers who want to use them.
It's your business, you're allowed in who you want.
Just get rid of him!

Open later in the morning to break his routine!!! Only in England would someone consider that a viable alternative to actually talking to someone 😂😂😂

I know toilet brushes are seen as the spawn of devil on here, I don’t use one myself. But, would having one in the toilets be an idea? If it really is just skids then maybe he just sits too far back, probably so his piss doesn’t go out of the toilet, then the poo will be hitting the back part of the toilet bowl. Maybe a sign to encourage use of the brush (which can sit in bleach) wen skids occur. I think being nasty about him the way some are is wrong, he isn’t in there having a dirty protest each morning for god sake. Have a quiet word and if with the toilet brush there is no improvement, then you will have to be more assertive and ask him to leave because of the disrespect. I could be totally wrong and he is just a twat though.

PLAN A
Next time you see him get up to use the loo, in a really lovely, almost jokey tone...just say something like "look, I don't mind you using the loo, but it's sometimes left in a shocking state, so would you please clean it afterwards. I've even bought you a brand new loo brush"

PLAN B
If plan A doesn't work, then I'm afraid you'll have to say something like "I'm so sorry, I won't be able to serve you anymore, I tried asking nicely about the loo and I just can't bear to clean it after you again" then just walk away, end of conversation (and poo cleaning!), done.

Overinvested!

Don’t mess with his order, that’s a terrible idea.

Just refuse service. When he next arrives say “I’m sorry, but the cost of your visits is greater than the value of your purchases” and don’t serve him.

He’s costing you time and unpleasantness cleaning and driving away other customers.

He’s not going to sue you, he won’t want to make the news for this.

OP may not be able to post just yet if she has turned the Wifi off!

I'd imagine his wife/housemate doesn't want to be confronted with the fruits of his arse either, and he's actively encouraged to take his shit (literally) elsewhere.
Speak up, op. He's not going to stop while he has you cleaning up after him.

flowerpott "Don't hate me... but I think, if you value his custom, then you just need to be prepared to clean it."

Why on earth would the OP "value his custom"? He's not even polite to the OP (no please or thank you) as well as the mess and smell he leaves for her to deal with! I'm sure she would be very happy never to see him again.

I really can't understand what you're supposed to do if there is no loo brush. Obviously, there should be one. Then put a sign up asking people to leave the toilet clean and tidy. If he then doesn't do so, you can happily ban him. Of course he can't sue you for that. But only fair to give him full opportunity to sort out the problem, which is partly of you making.

I've only ever worked in places that employ cleaners, I've never really thought about someone serving me food and drink having to clean the toilets too.

I'm on a quick break as my colleague has arrived.

I put an out of order sign up this morning. I realise this may not being a long term solution and is probably the cowards way out, but I just couldn't face it today.

He seemed pissed off but didn't say anything. Didn't stay as long as usual.

I don't have a cleaner because I do pretty much everything myself/ my 2 staff. We do a deep clean at close of day every day, and check the toilet at hourly intervals. I don't leave industrial strength bleach in there or anything to the PP that asked. It's just cleaning spray and there's always plenty of loo roll and hand towels/ soap.

Thanks for all the advice. Praying he doesn't come back!

I'm obviously not asking him to wipe it off with his bare hands. If he can wipe his own bum he can surely get a wad of loo roll and wipe the loo?? Then wash his hands with the numerous products I provide.

Loads of people refuse to have brushes in their home toilets - how do they manage?

I really don't fancy having to bleach a shitty loo brush every night, or other customers going to use it and it being covered in shit. I can't check it every time someone goes to the loo.

God I've really devoted too much thought to this 😂

At least you know for definite it is him now if the toilet is clean for rest of day

I liked Honkywonkwoman’s post above - good advice