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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Never missed a bedtime, am I weird

139 replies

puzzled90 · 09/05/2018 21:02

DC is 2 and I have only missed 1 bath time and bedtime and that was because I was ill. Dh has missed many a bath and bedtime as 1. He works a variety of shifts, and 2. He goes out a lot, especially at weekends.

We were arguing about something else when he stated I was weird and crazy for not wanting to miss a bathtime and that I needed to get a life.

For background, both work full time and DC goes to nursery full time. I work nornal office hours with some travelling involved and he does a mix of days and nights

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 09/05/2018 21:05

I would say that it is a bit weird yes, sorry.

NancyJoan · 09/05/2018 21:07

Why don’t you want to miss a bath time? What will happen if you do?

Furano · 09/05/2018 21:07

Yeah I think that is weird.

You’ve never been out with friends, family, as a couple - anything at all over bedtime??

Inmyownlittlecorner · 09/05/2018 21:07

Not weird at all. Enjoy bath time while you can!

coconutpie · 09/05/2018 21:07

That's not weird at all. Many people never miss a bedtime especially when DC are that young - I for one didn't miss a bedtime at that age. Your DH was being very unkind telling you to get a life, I would not be happy with that at all. Is he normally so unpleasant?

Sparklingbrook · 09/05/2018 21:08

I don't think bathtime is particularly special is it?

nippey · 09/05/2018 21:08

I have only missed a couple and DD is almost 3. I work full time as well so want to make the most of seeing her in the evenings, I don’t think it’s weird at all!

AgentHannahWells · 09/05/2018 21:08

I don't think it's wierd. We all have things we want to stick to. I was upset the other night as couldn't get through on phone to wish DC goodnight. If they are at home and I'm working I've always managed to say good night over the phone and they are teen and pre teen.

As it happened they stayed awake until 11pm instead Hmm

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 09/05/2018 21:08

Well to be fair one of you has to do it, and the child is only 2, not 9! I dont think it’s weird

Mannix · 09/05/2018 21:09

I think it is rather unusual, but it was unkind of your DH to phrase it as he did.

Echobelly · 09/05/2018 21:10

I can understand that you might want to do that on principle if you work ft. I work ft and have missed plenty of bedtimes, but different strokes for different folks!

SprogletsMum · 09/05/2018 21:11

I was reading it thinking that it was weird until you said you work full time. It's not weird to want to see your child when you can.
I hate bath time and would miss as many as possible but my dc have been driving me mad for a good 10 hours by then. If I'd been at work all day I would definitely want to do bath time.

Sirzy · 09/05/2018 21:14

If you go out of your way not to do other things simply so you don’t miss bedtime when you dh is there anyway then I do think that’s a bit odd yes.

UserV · 09/05/2018 21:15

So your thread title said you have never missed a bedtime, then your opening post says you have missed 'only' one.

So which is it?

I think what is weird is starting thread with a humble brag about how you have never missed your child's bedtime or maybe have missed it once, you're not sure!

Taylor22 · 09/05/2018 21:16

Does you doing them all mean he's never had that time alone with his child?

MrsJBaptiste · 09/05/2018 21:16

I don't think it's weird not to want to miss bedtime in the week if you haven't seen much of your child during the day (can't say the same about bathtime, I hated the nights when the kids needed a bath!)

I do think it's weird that you've never missed one ever though. Do you not go out? Has your child never slept at their grandparents, aunties, etc?

Mayhemmumma · 09/05/2018 21:19

It's fine, your child is young and you work full time, enjoy that bath bedtime time together. I do virtually all bedtimes due to DH working, this means when I go out it's not as easy for him as he doesn't have my routine but it's got easier as DC have got a bit older.

Your DH should be thankful you do all the bedtime as this means he goes out without any difficulty right?

sourpatchkid · 09/05/2018 21:20

At 2? That's not weird at all! I actually only know 2 mums who have missed bedtime with kids of that age. I've no judgement on it either way but it's certainly not weird Confused

Blaablaablaa · 09/05/2018 21:21

If you don't do things because you don't want to miss it then it is a little strange. Maybe your DH would like to do it sometimes? We take it in turns most of the time

Original poster
puzzled90 · 09/05/2018 21:25

Thanks all, to answer a couple of points:
DC hasn't stayed over at grandparents as both sets are in ill health and not able to look after DC for very long. DC has also been a terrible sleeper and up until about Christmas could be up 5 or 6 times a night but had recently started sleeping a lot better.

We have been out for events and functions etc so have just adjusted the routine and not done bath time and put DC in pyjamas at the event and straight to bed, but it's usually been me coming home early whilst DH stays out.

when dh is home he does come up for bathtime and but if there is football on or something he would rather stay downstairs and watch that.

OP posts:
Whisky2014 · 09/05/2018 21:26

If you think of it as 730 bathtimes in a row then actually, i do think its weird.

MrsJayy · 09/05/2018 21:27

Do you want to go out do you feel you have to be with the baby is that stopping you doing other things? Tbh as long as you are content about it then it isn't weird but your husband doesn't sound that supportive.

Baubles22 · 09/05/2018 21:28

My DD is 2 and been full time nursery since five months whilst I work full time. Whilst I am not fussed about being there for bath time every night, I have never been without her in the evenings and weekends. I see where you are coming from

Alexkate2468 · 09/05/2018 21:28

Totally not weird. Everyone has different routines/likes/things that they love to do. I never miss a shower i the morning - even if I'm having a p.j. day or going straight to the gym. I don't really care what anyone thinks.

It doesn't matter off you never miss a bedtime or miss lots... We're all different, nobody is odd. What your husband said was unnecessary and unkind.

Enjoy your DCs while they're still little.

Ubercornsdiscoball · 09/05/2018 21:29

I have to go to work in the evening so I have to miss bathtime/bedtime at least 3/4 times a week. My children survive. I do think it’s strange but it depends why. Just because you don’t want to or because it is a ‘point scoring’ exercise with others??!!