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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He didn't want phone sex

205 replies

Corkscrewbetty · 09/05/2018 14:38

So... my partner and I live apart. He comes to see me most weekends. I live with an eldery parent and so it's hard to find a good time to enjoy ourselves sexually. I just don't feel comfortable. We've even resorted to doing it in bushes when we take the dog out for a walk. We used to have quite an active sex life before my father moved in with me. We would "sext" and all the rest of it. Anyway, my dear old father is with a friend today. I'm self-employed and so is my boyfriend. I texted him asking him if he fancied a bit of phone sex... and he's too tired and not in the mood. Now... I know this happens... but seeing as we so rarely get the chance to do anything sexual... I feel a bit put out. And now I'm thinking about it, I don't think he has been as interested in that side of things recently. I'm wondering whether it's a bit of a red flag or if I'm just getting all worried about nothing.

OP posts:
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 09/05/2018 21:31

I must admit "My cat has to be shit downstairs" looked like some sort of very perverted euphemism Shock

Thanks betty this thread has made me laugh. Your sense of humour will see you through.

NotThe MrMen I've called you a cab Grin

imweirdandcool · 09/05/2018 21:45

Sex in the bushes lol

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 09/05/2018 21:51

I am actually 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

halfwitpicker · 09/05/2018 21:54

Well this is all very interesting

halfwitpicker · 09/05/2018 21:55

Anyone else fancy sex in the bushes with a wayward Spaniard with the dog watching?

BlueTrousers · 09/05/2018 22:07

This thread is bloody hilarious Grin

DPs asking me what I’m laughing at and between the bush sex, the scarred dog, the shitting cat downstairs, the dog picking locks and our Graham strolling in I just don’t know where to start Grin

NotTheMrMenAgain · 09/05/2018 22:13

My DH has a lock picking kit - apparently it's type of competitive sport in the US, with cash prizes. It's really difficult - the dog would never manage even the easiest barrel. Mind you , she'd probably just chew straight through the bugger.

Thanks lost Smile

Devilishpyjamas · 09/05/2018 22:18

I have to read the whole thread but if you’re self conscious having sex at home why on Earth are you shagging in bushes? I am crying with laughter.

Right back to read the thread

sweeneytoddsrazor · 09/05/2018 22:26

All a bit on the buses really.

Blimey is Blakey watching as well as the dog.

Bear If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise Bear

elQuintoConyo · 09/05/2018 22:29

Cats watching you have sex reminds me of the MNer who said her cat was hitting her partner's nuts like they were those silver balls executives have on their desks Grin

harriethoyle · 09/05/2018 22:31

@pinkball GrinGrinGrin

chinesechicken · 09/05/2018 22:35

Yes it was a reference to it all being a bit chavvy. I feel like I need to go to waitrose now for soap to cleanse my eyes after this thread.

Corkscrewbetty · 09/05/2018 22:48

I didn't know posh people have special eye soap. We chavs have muff soap though. You can get it down the pound shop. Scrub up before the bush trials... I have several. Lavender for potential dad one. Peach for potential dad two. It was just plain old domestos by the time I got round to the turkey baster though. Can't go throwing your money away.

OP posts:
PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 09/05/2018 22:58

Ouch Conyo!Shock

chinesechicken · 09/05/2018 23:03

You're so cocky for someone moaning that their partner didn't want to engage in cringey phone sex! I don't find you funny.

Emily7708 · 09/05/2018 23:04

Can you even imagine the pearl clutching if another member of the PTA spotted you shagging in the bushes Shock.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 09/05/2018 23:22

Actually crying laughing here! Good on you OP!

Corkscrewbetty · 09/05/2018 23:24

chinesechicken - I'm over the phone sex thing now - but thanks for your help with that. :-) You seem nice. Sorry you don't find me funny. I would have liked to have been friends. I think you're funny.

OP posts:
Hateloggingin · 09/05/2018 23:38

Corkscrew - big loss for you there :D

freespiritsbadattitude · 09/05/2018 23:59

This thread! Grin Shock

vigorously adjusts monocle

MissReginaPhilange · 10/05/2018 09:00

@chinesechicken what are you getting your no doubt posh and large m&s knickers in a twist for.
What's wrong with a frolick in the bushes. Doesn't make one lower class to enjoy the fruits of nature.

elQuintoConyo · 10/05/2018 11:26

Anyone else had lysty dreams about being chased through a cornfield by a naked Sean Bean?

MissReginaPhilange · 10/05/2018 11:28

Hahaha brilliant !!! Sounds like an awesome dream Grin

MrsPreston11 · 10/05/2018 11:48

I'd find any way I could tog et out of phone sex. How awkward.....

HoppingPavlova · 10/05/2018 12:07

The opinion that he is very educated does not mesh with the fact he works as little as possible to mooch off the social security system as much as possible. Not normal.