To ask just how do you make it all work?? Life admin etc.

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Sort of inspired by the ‘perfect friend’ thread.

How do you keep on top of different aspects of your life and have time for it all? How do you make it work for you? Would really appreciate some constructive advice please!!

E.g. how do you keep on top of your job (if you work) as well as staying on top of housework and life admin? How do you even deal with life admin? Do you just make a massive to-do list of random bits and bobs and force yourself to stick to it and get through it?

...And how do you then make time for things like having a social life and doing things you enjoy?

I work 2 or 3 night shifts a week which helps. Not good for me but great for running a family.
Aldi shop once a week. No real meal plans but regular quick to prepare healthy ish if possible. Roast once a week. I use a cook in a bag ready chicken. Pop it in before going on school run. Ready prepared veg.
Kids have hot dinners at school so no need for faffing with packed lunches.
I have a cleaner 2 hours every 2 weeks (£8 per hour she’s a godsend) to blitz the house and she does the limited amount of ironing we create. Big cleaning jobs ie scrubbing showers I do. Tumble dry most items.
Gardener every 2 weeks £20. He mainly just does the grass. I do other jobs like the boarders as a when.
We have a family Callander. A row for each person. 2DC 7 & 11.
A small white board in kitchen to write any out of the ordinary shopping items down.
Washing of clothes is done when basket is full. DH will fold. I’ll put away.
We share admin.
Try and do one big job ie clean bin, change bedding... once a day on my days off.
Try and keep on top of old clothes, shoes and toys as and when required.
Try to limit after school activities to Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

The extra admin for everyone else comes from children and their umpteen activities which need sorting, forms need filling in, competitions (should they compete) need sorting.

But aren't most of those things optional? Children don't need to go to numerous activities each week, they don't need to enter loads of competitions. That's something the parent has decided to do, and therefore they've chosen to take on all the work that comes with it. What happened to swimming lessons on Saturday mornings and learning an instrument in school? I don't think being constantly busy is beneficial for anyone. I know I never did numerous activities at school, and only a couple of people I know went to ballet or gymnastics lessons.

A lot of this "life admin" seems to be things that aren't remotely compulsory for anyone!

Of course they aren't compulsory but that does not mean good parents don't do those things - eg if you don't write down the school sports dayt on the calendars now you won't remember it and won't go to it. So at start of each term i would get each school (we had 4 schools at one point !!!!) dates and write down every concert each of the children was in, their sports day, parents evenings etc etc.

3 of our children won music scholarship and each of the 5 learned at least 2 instruments and yes that's voluntary but has admin to go with it. etc etc

I spend every evening ferrying DCs to activities. No, they aren’t compulsory. No, I’m not complaining. Yes, it gets very complicated.

But I’m not going to stop them competing and training at what they love because it adds to my mental and work load.

Honestly, I manage because I have help. I have a weekly cleaner and I think without her my home would be pure chaos.

I also have a DH who does more than his share.

I wrote everything in a notebook - appointments, work jobs, home jobs. If I don't have my notebook I email myself until I can add it in!

Ironing is a waste of life.

I have a job where I work from home 2 days a week (I work a 4 day week) and it makes a world of difference. I'm good at my job and can get everything done to allow myself a bit of time away from my desk when I'm at home. I go for a run in my lunch hour and during the day manage a few loads of washing and cook the kids (1 and 3) dinner before the Nursery run. On very quiet days I'll water the garden and pull a few weeds out.
In addition I have a cleaner once a week, my Nursery on my doorstep and an easy commute to work. My husband is very hands on too and tends to cook our evening mean and clean up.

You lost me at life admin (misses the point of the thread)

Also, I buy everything online from shoes to clothes to food so never need to go to shops. All my bills are paid direct debit and managed online. We meal plan to an extent so always know what's there for dinner. Kids are asleep by 7.30 so husband cooks while I tidy away toys and will do any house admin in the evening while watching TV. I'm sure it'll get more complicated as kids get older and have evening activities to factor in as well.

I have to admit I don't understand threads where people go on about how much admin, accounts and paperwork they have to deal with.

Yeah i'm finding it hard to understand what admin takes so long.

Maybe if you are very rich, or very poor there is a lot more account/money admin. Either managing your investments, or making sure you can pay for everything.

If you just earn just fine then there is no mucking about with bills or money. Everything comes out by DD!

I am not a massive fan of direct debits for everything. I think we have quite complex arrangements. I was on the phone to the bank the other week and she said she'd never spoken to anyone with such long bank statements (i.e. lots of transactions) apparently - the silly bank had cut off my paper bank statements yet again without my permission so yet another long call to the bank.

Another example the boys said sky was not working so they had to call it for an hour - I wasn't going to. Just stuff like that that doesn't work seamlessly but goes wrong or last week my gas/electric people wanted meter readings so I had to go outside to read them (and I'm very against smart meters so I will not be getting one of those).

It may be numbers of children too. When all 5 were still living at home and at so many different schools that definitely led to a lot more admin although we had systems. They all had access to the Tesco on line order system to add in their preferred goods and then I placed the order once a week in theory to arrive when the cleaner was there to put it away which usually worked except the week we ordered 30 eggs - which ended up 30 boxes of eggs but she didn't realise we hadn't wanted those.....

Even just returns - the boys will order clothes, buy two to try on and then someone (muggins here) will be having to get returns numbers, print returns out, take to the post office. Tomorrow I've a man coming who has bought my daughter's table on ebay which is in my garage. Day after day of admin and stuff, bins to put out etc.

Our banking services don't have direct debits here (except for a couple of things), or online shopping/groceries. I grocery shop on Saturday mornings at 8am straight after my morning class or Friday lunchtimes if I'm planning a big Friday night out.

I have an excellent master grocery list which we tick off through the week with stuff we need. Also has a menu list down the side and I choose which meals we'll have through the week.

I just pay everything on pay day, buy birthday gifts on the day of the party.

But as far as I can tell, the "mental load" just increases as kids get older, need homework handed in on certain days, reading on another, clubs on another, spelling bee on another - that's the kind of crap that needs to be kept on top off with everyone working full time, and if you have a number of kids at different stages of their school life, you're juggling for each of them.

This is where the big calendar with EVERYTHING written on it comes in handy.

Nothing has to be difficult if you're organised and like a vague routine.

I keep it all manageable with a Bullet Journal. I know some people are a bit about them, but it really works for me.

I find it a bit strange that some people are denying that life admin exists. All my bills are paid by direct debit, but that doesn't mean there aren't lots of other things to remember and get done. The journal doesn't just help me get stuff done, it helps me not to worry about not getting stuff done. I always used to have a constant, vague, nagging feeling of "What have I forgotten?" in the back of my mind, even when I hadn't forgotten anything. I don't get that any more.

I work either 3 or 4 days, DP usually 5 but has one day a fortnight at home for childcare. One preschooler. No relatives within 150 miles though my DPs are brilliant and stay once a fortnight for two days' childcare. We have stuff that gets done, stuff that gets sort-of kept on top of, then the "organised chaos" bit.

DP pulls his weight and day to day jobs are fine - dishwasher, laundry, bins. I try to batch cook at weekends. We have the same system of "if it's not on the calendar, it ain't happening".

I do everything I can online - groceries, other shopping, banking, etc. Cleaning is done at weekends and we could definitely do more but it's clean enough - I prioritise kitchen, bathroom and hoovering when it looks as though it needs it. Gardening ditto - priority is mowing and hedges, odd jobs here and there.

I'm shit at paperwork and life admin. Full of good intentions but always put it off. I chuck everything in a box and sort it every few months. On the plus side, I can always find stuff....

@adaline of course they're optional, but dds love their activities. I'm rather fond of them you see and like them being happy.
I guess you could do absolutely nothing in life, no hobbies, no holidays etc or anything requiring admin, so that you don't have to do admin, but it's not how I want to live.

I'm a SAHM and I still don't always manage to get everything done! I have a timetable for the kids busy activities, and also give myself household tasks every day/admin days/some gardening etc. The only help we have is a gardener. Otherwise it's just keeping on top of things as and when they happen. I don't know how people manage to juggle a job, especially single parents - I am in awe of their organisation!

I have a very practical hands on dh
I have low standards (this is important)
I do a lot online
I get up early
I try and keep healthy so I have the energy to deal with it

My kids do millions of hobbies and I drive them everywhere. I listen to quizzes in the car and read books while I'm waiting. This takes care of my brain.

Sadly I don't have a cleaner but when I did it was brilliant.

Also online grocery shopping and everything else from Amazon. Save so much driving about! Once a week book the slot, always for the same day and time, and make a list throughout the week (obviously popping out for bread, milk, wine ;-)

I just don't find it that hard tbh. If I ever start struggling I take a day off and dh does everything for a day. I've done that a few times over the past 18 years. I do the same for him

I wish I knew! I really have no idea how people find all of this easy. Bills for example, direct debit fine but need to occasionally check you are on the best deals, change supplier, certainly need to regularly check bank balance etc.

My to do list normally includes:-
Decluttering - NEVER manage this
Find a plumber - nobody ever turns up this seems to take ages. Have had 3 plumbers booked for a small job and none turned up
Sort out fixing a problem with a roof
Admin for the kids’ activities - this is an essential to me. My parents never prioritised any of our sports or hobbies and I resolved to always prioritise activities for the kids. This involves uniforms, permission slips, checking lots of dates in calendars, paying bills (online but not direct debits), sewing badges
Not strictly life admin but trying to find time to exercise
Looking to increase hours at work but can’t do that where I am so trying to get extra hours elsewhere- hugely time consuming for currently no financial reward.
Buy summer shoes for the children
Buy summer clothes for me
Plus the daily laundry, tidying (daily undoing of the mess in two bedrooms, living room, kitchen, stuff out in garden). I’m always baffled by people who manage to sit down after the kids go to bed. When they are asleep which is usually 8:30 or later I then start laundry, tea and dishwasher if DH and I haven’t already eaten, general tidy up (file papers I have yet again not got round to doing), school paperwork and any other paperwork for DDs. Then it’s 10pm and the evening has gone already.

I never get to the bottom of the to do list. Work is worse, so much to do and as I am part time I have no hope of doing it all.

I work four days a week, use a mixture of nursery and family for childcare. My lovely dad offered to pay for one morning a week for my toddler to go to nursery so I have 3.5 hours a week to myself by the time I send the older one to school. In this morning I do everything from giving the house a good clean, catching up with washing, admin, paying bills etc. I don’t know what I’d do without that morning because before it I was either at work or with children or slumped on the sofa too tired to think.

I do all my food shop online, have a milkman for eggs, juice and milk so we don’t really run out of anything. I meal plan a week in advance and plan meals so they use up things which are going off.

Since I’ve had kids my friends do tend to have kids of a similar age and we socialise during the day when I’m off work so I still feel like I’m having time with friends. I don’t have more than 1-2 nights out at the cinema/pub/whatever a month as I find it too expensive and find it takes too much away from family life. I think that’s a good balance. My nights out are booked well in advance. We also do girls nights in which I tend to do at our house when my H is out. Everyone enjoys those.

I keep a present cupboard for any gifts I need and buy packs of cards so I always have one. Card factory are great for cheap but nice cards. Anyone who lives too far to see regularly gets a Moonpig card and sometimes gift.

I don’t iron at all unless we are going to a wedding/funeral. I do most of the washing on my days off during the week. My H is off one week day and knows he expected to cook, clean and do activities with the toddler on that day, he’s great and we are equals.

I do have a cleaner once a fortnight to do jobs like clean the shower screen, wash the internal windows, give the house a good Hoover. It makes it easier for us to keep on top of. I’m a minimalist and I don’t hoard anything. House is easier to keep clean that way.

I know all my parents/in laws holiday dates months in advance so I can deal with any gaps they leave in childcare so I’m not caught short.

I’m a generally very organised person and love nothing more than sitting looking through my diary and planning. May be sad but it make sure our lives work smoothly most of the time.

We muddle through. I find a bullet journal helps.

Sorry I work three days not four. Used to work four but was too hard to juggle everything.

I wish I was naturally organised.