To ask just how do you make it all work?? Life admin etc.

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Sort of inspired by the ‘perfect friend’ thread.

How do you keep on top of different aspects of your life and have time for it all? How do you make it work for you? Would really appreciate some constructive advice please!!

E.g. how do you keep on top of your job (if you work) as well as staying on top of housework and life admin? How do you even deal with life admin? Do you just make a massive to-do list of random bits and bobs and force yourself to stick to it and get through it?

...And how do you then make time for things like having a social life and doing things you enjoy?

I get up at 5 am and don't seem to stop ever lucky all you who have wonderful grandparents for the kids that help out. We don't get squat. Even got to put kids in breakfast club next week and oh taking a day off just so I can go to a gynae appointment an hour away. He's driving youngest is coming with....so if I need any sort of biopsies and further tests he will have to drive home for the kids 4 and 5 and look after 16 month old while I get the train back. Aint easy

I also hate the daily mail etc taking stuff from here as a rule but this thread is so useful. Also (although I still think it is shitty, lazy journalism) it’s more the relationship / sex type threads that I get super annoyed about the papers stealing.

Ruthless and relentless efficiency. Two DCs, single parent, work full-time.

There is no getting away from it, it is relentless and tiring.

Loads of really good advice here but my top tip would be to get the DC to help when you can.

I've roped mine in since they were really tiny and always tell them that if they want to do nice stuff, then they have to help me find the time and not be too tired, so that I can take them.

I don't make them do all the chores or act as unpaid slaves in the house, but they do help out, particularly now they are older during the school holidays, when I will leave them a list of some domestic jobs that need doing most days (empty dishwasher, hang out laundry, set table for dinner - that kind of thing). They know that it is tough for me doing everything on my own and I rarely have to ask twice for help. They are the best and it makes a huge difference.

I find nowadays with direct debits the household bills need very little attention, as they all go through without me having to do very much.

I do nearly all my shopping online, which saves vast amounts of time.

I also try to ensure that the evenings I am at home, I have at least one hour on the sofa with my feet up, not doing anything. Rest is important and if I prioritise an hour of rest, I find I feel less resentful and recharge a bit.

Place marking to read later as I don’t have time right now

I always feel like I'm chasing my tail! One DD (4) in school and DSS here every couple of weeks. DH works full time 40+ hours, I work part time. DD goes into after school club one day a week which gives me time after work to catch up on chores, shopping etc. I run or go to the gym in the mornings (early!) to free up evenings for more chores or to spend time with DH. We rarely go out in the week, weekends are usually busy seeing friends with their kids, family etc so we tend to catch up on all the house stuff in the week. No family close enough to help out but we do occasionally get an overnight at grandparents so that we can go out as a couple. There never seem to be enough hours in the day though and although I keep a to do list, I'm adding stuff to it quicker than I can cross it off!

I have a big list that i add to and i love ticking things off it because im a loser. I love planning and spreadsheets and organising everything around me. I feel better staying up till 3am (on rare occasion) making sure everything is in order than the stress i would feel if i were to just wing things. (plus im not a very nice person when stressed as i get cranky and bitchy as fuck)

I don’t. I feel like I’m mostly flailing around trying to keep just me the kids and the husband together let alone friends and people with expectations of me 😂. We’ve had a shit year though, and people are being very understanding xx

Situation: 2 school aged children, DH works very full-time, me part-time. No grandparental help (live overseas). No cleaner.

Things we do / have that help:

Shared Google calendar for DH and I: if it ain't in the calendar, it doesn't happen! In really busy periods I print it out and put on the back of the front door so that everyone can see where they are meant to be at a certain time!

Small house: our 2 bed apartment can be cleaned from one end to the other in half a day.

Kondo-ing - it's so much easier to keep the place looking nice since we got rid of loads of stuff. Even the kids spontaneously Kondo their possessions / books / toys now!

Only choosing activities for children that are walking distance: buggered if I'm driving them all over the city or wrestling on the metro after school for a sports club! There are lots of options close to hand so we chose from them.

DH does as much as he can.

Things we should / could do differently:

Meal plan more consistently - I don't always manage to do it and do end up spending money/ time on last minute cooking.

Develop more routines - I'm a bit allergic to routines so housework etc tends to be ad hoc. It's hard to be consistent because DH works different hours each day, so some days he is around and others not.

Kondo some more! I know that we could simplify our house a bit more, it's a work in progress.

Sort out DH work / life balance: he's a teacher, so his work seeps out into every spare moment that he has, including evenings and weekends :-( He wants to do mre at home, especially since I'm working now, but it's so hard when he's got prep to do or a stack of 50 essays that need to be marked by Monday...

The Marie kondu (?) not sure how to spell it.... is really good and there’s a lot to be said for decluttering and haveing a place for everything!!!!
But it’s a constant work in progress with growing children it’s hard to make the time for it.

I am in the process of decluttering my life (getting rid of bad influences, people, things, habits, the works). I will soon get rid of my car to use only public transport, walking and Uber (and get back all those hours and money on road tax, parking, maintenance, MOT, selling, buying). I make sure I list 3 new items on ebay every week, could be books, clothes, unwanted presents, etc. I use the KonMari method a lot on documents, toys and cosmetics and will not buy any new clothes until the clutter is gone.

I have a feeling it will all work fine when the clutter is gone :)

I’m single and childless but still don’t find time for all the cleaning I’d like to do. I try to do one useful task each evening and wash up once a day. Ironing every three weeks or so. About 3 hours’ housework on Saturdays and I’ve got a robot vacuum so that’s one job fewer. I do tend to batch cook else I just eat junk.

op i been working fulltime for 3 days and its friday and still havent made all the calls i need to make in regards to bills ect cleaning isnt bad though im by myself though no kids just cats

@morningconstitutional2017 I'm going to keep your post. What great advice.

Hold on, what’s ‘life admin’ exactly?

You mean, remembering when it’s school Mufti Day, or the time your kid’s after school activity finishes, and remembering to send your tax credits renewal back in, do an online order for new school uniform, and pay bills?

You do that in less time than it takes to sit on Mumsnet and Facebook for more than an hour every evening.

Maybe more women need to try a spell as a single parent. It’s a breeze and we don’t even need a cleaner or a partner to put the bins out.

Can’t believe people saying car insurance is a half hour job. We are renewing ours at the moment and it is taking hours and will take hours more.

What is konmari ??

@greenprovence mine would be many many hospital appointments, booking and attending for me and my children , sorting and picking up many many prescriptions, dentists school stuff letters forms etc bill management ad changing when necessary etc doesn't take up endless amounts of time but can take up a few hours a week.

Can’t believe people saying car insurance is a half hour job. We are renewing ours at the moment and it is taking hours and will take hours more.

I got car insurance for the first time in October. It must have taken me an hour at most to shop around quickly, pick the best policy, fill in my information and pay.

It probably depends how much shopping around you do and how much you need to save money on renewal, though.

Hours and hours to do car insurance ? How many cars do you have ?

2 cars (me and DH ). Need business insurance for both. Have had a few claims - most non fault but still need declaring so dates and details inputted. Have to shop around and price comparison sites don’t cover all companies.

We have endless amounts of things to do at the moment and we're just a family of 3. But there are so many people on here with harder living situations and less time. I don't know how you guys do it.

That being said, judgey, sarcastic comments about how people should try walking in your shoes because you think your situation is so much harder, is unhelpful and unnecessary (talking to PPs there). No one knows the full extent of people's busy lives or mental health situation.

The fact is some people find admin easy to sort out and some don't. Some people have their shizz together. Some people don't. Some people put things higher on their priority list. Others don't.

My mum in law is a very neat and tidy person. Borderline OCD levels. But she's been in the habit of doing that for years.
I like to keep my house clean but I've set myself some targets every day. Just three for cleaning. I Hoover all of downstairs (DS is crawling everywhere), do the dishes and put some washing on. The rest of the housework gets assigned to various days of the week (usually weekend) when DP can help out. I have an app on my phone that reminds me of my chores.

Take whatever spare bits of time you can and make a list of what needs done. Prioritise the list in terms of urgency and time limit. So what if you don't get to complete all of the list. As long as you get the urgent stuff done.

Routines helped when I was looking after my nephews too. After bedtime, I'd come back downstairs, tidy the toys, wash their uniforms, set their school stuff up, sort their clothes for the next morning, sort snacks for when they came home, do the dishes and then finally have some me time.

Look for ways to make it easier... slow cooker recipes for tea. Freeze meals up etc. Life hacks.

But most important of all... don't be too hard on yourself. And enjoy the time with your family as much as possible. Because in the end, they will remember time spent with you. Not how clean the house is or if you forgot to bring their book bags.

@AreThereAnyLumpsInIt I love your post.

Thank you

Hopefully it helps OP and anyone else.

There is a huge amount for some people. When we had as I said above 4 different schools, 5 children and perhaps most importantly 2 full time careers and weekend working plus I had an hour's commute each way and you come home to a baby needing feeding which is up half the night too admin can be really hard to fit in. Actually getting to the loo for 2 minutes can be hard to fit in when the toddler is attached to your leg and won't let go.

Everyone has to decide what works for them. I found trying to get bills paid on the day of receipt so I only thought about them once and then filed the bill away on a paper file - I like my paper files in alphabetica order - worked fine. I have not ironed for 30 years i.e. ever. The children were fed at 6 before we got back from work so no week day cooking other than sticking something on for our selves whenever we felt like it so no family meal to worry about. Washer and dishwasher no every single day first thing.

Everyone will have different things that take more time than others. I had to deal with a car t be repaired yesterday. Call the local garage, they gave a different garage that might help, called the call out servdice, they eventually came., dealt with that man who was hear an hour. He ordered a pick up. That man called twice and then cancelled. Called the company again and they put someone else on it, eventually that man arrived, helped him things moved, space made, texted receipient garage when the car left, called them at 4.30 to check it had arrived given the fuss the drive had made over it all. Just as well I was working at home yesterday and that did take a lot of time, giving directions, going into the road to show the man in.

We had 3 cars at one point; 2 now although my daughter's is here too for various reasons but I don't thankfully do it's admin. Okay the cars are twice a year there is an MOT to fix, then car tax twice a year 1x each car, then as I use one in part for business use attributing the right amount of expenses for work accoutns (obviously that is not relevant to most people but some will have to claim back petrol from work), then usually 1 or 2 times a year a repair is needed; and before the twins went to back tou niversity recently i bought coolant, topped up all their levels. I checked my own tyres the other day at home before I knew the car was going to be needing a repair; topped up levels etc. Bought petrol for garden lawn mower the other day. Car insurance x 2 so twice a year, I got that to renew recently and it had gone down (never happened in my life with the same company! ) so didn't switch and that is automatic but again I need to attribute a part of that to tax which is a little bit of admin and I file the paper on a paper file as I find that easiest. I realised people on here could say I am causing more admin by paper filing but I can certainly find just about anything in seconds. So all of that is just car. I also clean the cars myself not that I do that that often.

I think we are all quite hard on ourselves. When I’m working I wish I was at home more although I love my job, when I’m at home I’m torn between children and household things. It’s finding a balance isn’t it?
I need lists to keep track of what needs doing and when. I have this weekend off which is unusual but I have a list of jobs plus self care which includes time with the children plus visits to family.