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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask just how do you make it all work?? Life admin etc.

305 replies

NameChangeTimeNow · 08/05/2018 23:45

Sort of inspired by the ‘perfect friend’ thread.

How do you keep on top of different aspects of your life and have time for it all? How do you make it work for you? Would really appreciate some constructive advice please!!

E.g. how do you keep on top of your job (if you work) as well as staying on top of housework and life admin? How do you even deal with life admin? Do you just make a massive to-do list of random bits and bobs and force yourself to stick to it and get through it?

...And how do you then make time for things like having a social life and doing things you enjoy?

OP posts:
unintentionalthreadkiller · 09/05/2018 08:55

Don't iron.

Have enough sets of uniform to not need to was mid week.

Get a cleaner if money allows.

Online shopping.

Book bags emptied and repacked as soon as I get home from work, invites dealt with / dates for school on calendar straight away

Routine. Eg Friday night clean bathroom. Saturday food shopping delivered.

If one of us is going out it needs to be written in the calendar. If it's not in the calendar it doesn't count.

I get up early so mornings aren't stressy getting out of the house.

Life admin - bills etc? All done in DD so I don't need to do anything.

We both work full time and have dts in Y2.

unintentionalthreadkiller · 09/05/2018 08:57

Oh and also, it's ok to say no to stuff. You don't have to a vet every invite to do things if you need down time or family time.

Northernmum12 · 09/05/2018 09:05

Lists. Shopping list, to do list, calendar. A husband that does his fair share.
I do at least one load of washing everyday to keep on top of it, hoover every other day. Dusting gets done as and when. I hate mess so clutter gets put away as soon as it appears. Deep cleaning bathrooms happens about once a week when hubby is home to look after the kids
I have 2 DCs 3 and 2 weeks so am currently on maternity leave, it’s slightly easier although I do have 5 horses and a dog to sort as well. The thing that usually gets missed is my car, it is regularly an absolute disgrace. Other that that I don’t spend a lot of time sitting down really

arethereanyleftatall · 09/05/2018 09:11

The only way I can I keep on top of it all, and maintain a good quality of life, is by only working 2 hours a day.
When my dc first started reception, I assumed I could work 6 hours a day. That wasn't much fun, and luckily we could afford for me to not.
Anyway;
Big A4 day to page calendar
Admin dealt with as soon as get it
Kids help
Realising egg on toast is fine for tea, daily baths aren't necessary for children.
Use the older child to read to the younger.

northbynorthwesty · 09/05/2018 09:13

@shotsfired I like your attitude! It seems sensible and up my alley :) I will try and emulate from today

5hell · 09/05/2018 09:16

no idea, i feel like im slightly failing in all areas!
i work 4 days, dh full time + long commute, 1x ds, 2x dogs etc etc
i really need to declutter, but cant find the time between the regular chores, we have fairly low standards but it still takes time.

in truth i probably just need too take a leaf out of YetAnotherUser's book and "fucking get off my ass and do it" Blush instead of watching netflix and facebooking!!!!!!!!!

this thread is making me feel better tho :)

Calmingvibrations · 09/05/2018 09:18

Going to read all these with interest. I feel permanently on the back foot. Not helped by an OH who seems to hoard loads of crap and baby who doesn’t sleep.

MagicFajita · 09/05/2018 09:24

A few things help keep things organised here - we shop online and meal plan , shopping is delivered on the same day each week , I keep a rolling list of tasks , bills are all either dds or set up to pay from my online banking app.

I plan the next months finances half way through the previous month.

Day to day I hit the ground running. As soon as I get up I put on the washing washing machine , put ds's bottles in the sink to soak. By the time I've fed him and changed him the washing is ready to hang and the bottles take five minutes to clean and stack up in the steriliser.

Dinner is always simple as dh works rotating shifts and I couldn't manage cooking a complicated meal so I don't try!

Dh and I do 50/50 here when he's not working.

In a nutshell, I run my life from my personal organiser and my phone.

This will need tweaking when I return to work part time in a few months.

Butterymuffin · 09/05/2018 09:27

Also have family calendar up with everything on we're all doing. And the shopping list pad in the kitchen so things we need can go on it immediately. Online food shopping has been really helpful. Other than that I'm very much open to tips.

MagicFajita · 09/05/2018 09:27

Oh , one more thing - we use the calendar. Appointments go on there immediately.

PrimeraVez · 09/05/2018 09:41

One more thing - DH and I have a shared photo album on our phones where we add pictures of any vaguely important paperwork. So if we get a letter from nursery, we take a photo and upload it. Same with stuff like nanny's contract, reminder about car insurance, pension etc etc.

Means that it doesn't matter if the paper copy disappears somewhere, and we can both refer to anything wherever we are.

sausagerole · 09/05/2018 10:07

My absolute top tip is having a place for EVERYTHING. It is so much easier to clean and tidy if everything is away. Our house is full of little containers, dishes, baskets and boxes tucked away everywhere to keep necessary things within easy reach. like;

  • box that hides away downstairs for dirty laundry (tea towels, dish cloths, socks) that accumulates downstairs
  • tub for cloths and cleaning spray under the dining table, makes for easy clean-up after dinner
  • basket for odd socks, another for clothes that need mending/charity shopping/labelling, stops them hanging out in random places around the house
  • a basket at the top of the stairs for things that need to go down, same at the bottom for things to go up
  • each of our kids has a 'station' for their shoes/school bag/hats etc
  • little baskets of cleaning stuff in different places, makes it easy to grab and do a quick clean while kids are occupied for 5m or so

With paperwork, I have automatic back-up of photos on my phone, so letters I don't need to do anything about I take a picture and then chuck immediately.

BiddyPop · 09/05/2018 10:49

Cleaner once a fortnight.
Housework is quite shared with DH.

Keep on top of washing clothes during the week, and drying them - but we only fold once a week (if clean things are needed before then, we rummage in the "clean clothes hamper" downstairs). Folding is done while watching a movie so not so much of a chore.

Big family diary on the worktop.
Paperwork gets dealt with quickly - items completed go into a basket until we get the energy to file (about once a year!) but don't go into the basket until they are done, they're beside the diary to get done first.

Lists - to do, paperwork, annual budget on excel, birthdays etc in the diary...

I keep books of stamps on the fridge to send off cards and pay bills quickly. I also keep stocks of cards that I'd use regularly - thank you notelets, a few ages but mostly generic boy/girl birthdays, some anniversary cards and sympathy cards etc.

Stock of boy/girl/baby/wedding/Christmas wrapping paper as well, to put things together in a hurry. And always plenty of sellotape (TM - other versions of tape are available!! But I have never been let down by sello).

Double batches of dinners and freeze the second half - for easy dinners on nights we are running more than usual.

Good jars of sauce to make fast dinners, and various other "dinner in 20 minutes" recipes (pasta carbonara, chicken quesedillas, nasi goreng etc). Prepping the evening before if I know one night will be worse than another (peeling potatoes, thawing/dicing meat, chopping veg, marinading anything needing it etc).

Good stores cupboard/freezer that I can make 101 meals from tins and packets (slight exaggeration - but I can do a good few weeks) if I don't manage to get proper food shopping.

Food shopping lists on the fridge door - everyone knows to add on items that they have just used the last bit of (preferably BEFORE they actually finish it!) and anything they particularly want the following week (eg. knowing there are school trips coming up, maybe need extra crisps or dried fruit, or bake sales mean more eggs and flour).

Grocery shopping online frequently, especially if we will be away or particularly busy with events - sometimes it's for delivery and others "click and collect" to suit diaries.

Annual bills like insurances etc are in my budget excel workbook to remember
Lots of bills are now DD

Holidays tend to have online bookings

Putting a wash on most mornings, that is done when we get in at night to put on the clothes horse overnight if weather not good for outdoor drying. Using the tumble dryer as much as necessary.
Dishwasher ditto.

DD sorts a lot of her own gear for activities - but we all tend to pack in advance for activities and travel. And use lists for this as well (not necessarily to get packed, but once packed, any items for last minute go on a list to grab so we don't forget).

BiddyPop · 09/05/2018 10:51

Oh, and a big wardrobe so we shouldn't need to rummage midweek - DD will be getting plenty of uniform next year (no uniform in primary so we have loads of tracksuits and shorts sets instead), and DH and I both have extensive work wardrobes (and somewhat reasonable casual wardrobes too).

adaline · 09/05/2018 10:55

I have to admit I don't understand threads where people go on about how much admin, accounts and paperwork they have to deal with.

All my bills are on direct debit so don't require any input from me. I check my online banking on my phone most days to make sure bills have been paid, but I do that on the toilet or when I'm waiting for the kettle to boil. It's not something I need to set aside huge chunks of time to deal with. Car insurance is paid annually and when I get my reminder letter, I'll spend half an hour checking quotes online and renew my policy or change providers as necessary.

I try and do housework before work in the morning. So most mornings I'll put a load of laundry on and hang it out dry, wash the dishes, feed the cats/sort their trays and make the bed. When DP gets home he'll vacuum, get the laundry in and put it away, and sort dinner.

We don't have children so none of that to worry about yet.

We food shop once a week/ten days on average. I went today early and was back home by 9am (it's my day off), but often we go together after work - takes about 30 minutes and it's done.

adaline · 09/05/2018 10:55

And yes, we don't iron anything!

theredjellybean · 09/05/2018 11:07

I also struggle to understand the posters who seem unable to cope with life administration.
All bills paid by direct debit, all school stuff is by email and parent pay.
Currently have two houses, two dogs, me and dp commute Cornwall to London part of the week. In London have two teens living with us, and often have at least two dc travelling back and forth to Cornwall.
Dp does alot of overseas travel too.
I think maybe some people are born organised! I have do to list and a family calendar.
Routine and regular appointments for everything from haircuts to smear tests.
We do sit down and Skype in teens once a month to plan the following months travel /logistics /activities and any pre booked appointments arw double checked. From that I create a list of things that need changing or booking e. G. Travel etc.
Sunday morning spend an hr double checking the coming week and discuss plans /diaries etc.
Cleaning is shared out by whoever is at home at weekend.
Life is busy and I often feel exhausted but keeping everything juggling is not hard you just have to get on with it

pigmcpigface · 09/05/2018 11:41

I think life administration varies quite a lot according to what you do. When I was running my own business, it was quite onerous. Ditto for when I was managing building work on the house. Outside those things, it is a bit easier. I suspect that those who are heavily involved in sports, or their community, have quite a bit of admin to do, however.

Xenia · 09/05/2018 11:56

It is very hard when you have little children. At one stage when we had 3 very small ones and I worked full time I took all the home files into my office at work and did all home admin there during my lunch hour etc.

What has always worked for me is trying to do it all as it comes in even if I'm busy so I never have a back log or rarely do. So it's one job eg yesterday car tax to be renewed. Instead of putting to one side to deal with later I just immediately went on line and paid it and put the piece of paper on my paper car file.

I like order, structure, filing and that kind of thing so it was always going to be one of my strengths. Other people are really good at other things and in fact sometimes need someone else to do it for them - a secretary if they are well off or a one off organiser via taskrabbit to come in or their other half which is much more common a solution.

If you are very short of time make sure you get the priorities right eg renew the passports, don't lose the birth certificates, pay the council tax. Life administratoin for my business plus 5 children and a big house and at one stage cleaner and nanny (I work full time) was harder to do when my children were smaller. Now the youngest are teenagers it's pretty easy as long as I do it every day. When we had 5 sets of school dates./events and all the rest it was definitely complicated and time consuming. Even today I am having to exgtra a date/time like pulling teeth from a teenager still not done.... so I can book a train ticket to an event.

Littlechocola · 09/05/2018 12:14

@Xenia it’s so nice to see your name. You won’t remember me but I always used to enjoy your posts.

bumblingbovine49 · 09/05/2018 12:19

I have one 13 year old and a husband who does more than his fair share but I also spend 3 Saturdays a month vising my elderly mother (2 hr drive away) and work full time which leaves me with one day (Sunday) a week and one full weekend a month to do stuff. I find it difficult to get everything donw but then I am not naturally organised and find being organsied quite tiring

For instance DH and I have between us done a weekly food plan and online shop every week for the last 13 years (DH did it for years ut now I do it). It is great to have the week 's food done each week but every week when it comes time to do the plan/order I sigh and find it hassle.

DH is better with routine stuff, he just does it. I spend time wishing I didn't have to do it, procrastinating and then panicking and doing it just in time. Also stuff seems to take me much longer to do than it does DH as I get distracted more easily

I am 53 years old and have been like this since school so no hope for me really!

Anyway to answer the OP :

  • We use google calendar religiously for everything, DH work, my work and home stuff kept on different calendars but can be viewed together
  • Admin stuff (appoinyments/bills/insurance renewals/ finance reviews/tax returns etc/household maintenance/gardening/car admin etc ) we share/alllocate as makes sense
  • Cleaning - I used to do more but now DH does most of this with DS's help on a Saturday when I am visiting my mother.
Wallywobbles · 09/05/2018 12:22

4 kids 9-13 all capable of cooking/reheating, doing the washing/drying, folding sorting etc. Everybody helps with food prep if they are there etc.

A cleaner 2x a week.

Shared calendars

Bullet journal.

Phone reminders.

I work part time. Part time farmer. Everybody is out from 7-7.

I'm in charge of house admin.

I'm looking at going back to work full time (preferably condensed week) still farming too which is going to mean really really early starts for me. Shit in the winter.

arethereanyleftatall · 09/05/2018 12:26

@adaline
The extra admin for everyone else comes from children and their umpteen activities which need sorting, forms need filling in, competitions (should they compete) need sorting. I would imagine most people do bills by dd but for me, your list amounts to less than 1% of the things I include in household admin.

Openup41 · 09/05/2018 12:34

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 09/05/2018 12:56

Maybe I am doing something wrong but what is all this "life admin" of which you speak?

Most stuff is paid for by direct debit so doesn't require much work and everything else takes about 10 mins here and there so not an onerous job.

What are you all doing?

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