To ask just how do you make it all work?? Life admin etc.

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Sort of inspired by the ‘perfect friend’ thread.

How do you keep on top of different aspects of your life and have time for it all? How do you make it work for you? Would really appreciate some constructive advice please!!

E.g. how do you keep on top of your job (if you work) as well as staying on top of housework and life admin? How do you even deal with life admin? Do you just make a massive to-do list of random bits and bobs and force yourself to stick to it and get through it?

...And how do you then make time for things like having a social life and doing things you enjoy?

Both DH and I work FT, although I do a slightly compressed week to get the Dc from school a couple of times.

We have a cleaner once a week and we have somebody to do our ironing. We don’t bother decorating ourselves and will happily pay for somebody to do things that we know will take us twice as long to do.

I do an online grocery shop once a week and order as much as I can online, I accept that I may end up paying more but I don’t have the time to traipse around shops to get something for a fiver less.

I spend my commute and a few evenings a week doing life admin, such as booking trips and holidays, MOT, banking etc done.

The DC have something on most evenings each week but DH and I share them between us and the other will cook or doing something around the house. We both sit down at the same time so it’s fair.

I still feel as though I’m doing an half job most of the time though!

I get into work two hours before the school bell goes. I have a cleaner. I have excellent, flexible, free childcare in the form of my fantastic grandparents. My OH does just as much as I do. I have a two do list which I only ever keep three things on at a time otherwise I get pissy that it’s never gonna get done.

Also, we have our food shop delivered weekly. Our children are young and only have one club per week on a Saturday morning.

I guess you could do absolutely nothing in life, no hobbies, no holidays etc or anything requiring admin, so that you don't have to do admin, but it's not how I want to live.

But you don't have to go to one extreme or the other

Of course children need hobbies and such, but as the parent you ultimately have control over what they do out of school. So if running several children to several activities each every week is too overwhelming, then the logical step is to cut back, surely?

I guess I just don't understand posts where parents say how exhausted they are, and then it turns out they have 3-4 children doing 3-4 hobbies each, at completely conflicting times. Of course that all involves lots of planning and work - but you're creating that work. Why do it if it's so overwhelming and stressful?

Mine do 3 clubs a week each (same clubs though so admin can be combined) which definitely adds to the admin and hugely adds to the laundry. If they weren’t at clubs though they would be in be house making it messier or I’d be out doing something with them so still not able to do any life admin.

Xpost adeline, I do clubs because I think it is a massive part of childhood that I missed out on (we did a bit but once a lot of running around of effort was needed it didn’t happen so I didn’t really progress). Sport and swimming are such a good foundation for other things and it can be hard to catch up (massive waiting lists) on something like Rainbows or Brownies if you don’t do it from a young age. I actually feel guilty that my children don’t do a martial art but can’t afford the time or money to add that in at the moment unfortunately. They also have boundless energy which needs to be channeled!

Fair enough.

I never went to any clubs as a child with the exception of swimming lessons. No ballet, martial arts, drama, singing, gymnastics, brownies or anything like that and I don't know many people who did. Most of us learnt instruments at school (so, in school hours) and one or two did ballet but that was about it.

I think sending all kids to the same clubs makes sense, and I do see the benefit of them, but not if they're causing too much stress for the parents or other family members. I think there's a balance to be had somewhere.

I work a long four day week instead of five days. One or two of those days I WFH.

Dog walking is done after work, or at lunchtime on my day off or WFH days.

My “day off” is my washing/shopping/admin/spending more time with the kids day. DC have basic chores - dog feeding, putting clothes away, basic tidying and cleaning. Cooking is split equally between me and DH.

I clean up and do odds and sods during my lunch and other breaks when WFH. Packed lunches are made as soon as I get in from work.

I fit exercise in early morning before work, go for a long walk every day at lunch time and then walk the dog at night.

I socialise at the weekends when grandparents are around for the DC.

I have a to do list on my phone for personal tasks and a task list on outlook to keep on top of work stuff.

We also cheat and have a cleaner, dog walker and gardener!

I spent years messing around with part time hours, struggling on full time hours, not exercising, being knackered, blabla. It’s only in the last six months or so I’ve actually managed to find a decent balance.

I work part time and DH does very little around the house (he works FT and much longer hours than me). Two school age DC. I am not that naturally organized, but hate having things go missing or missing important things, or feeling unorganized, so I force myself to be organized!

On one night of the week I have to wait around for a long time for one of my kids to do a sports activity. I sit in my car and use that time to catch up on admin which can be done from my phone eg:

Write work emails
Reply to personal emails I haven’t done for a while
Check online bank statements and pay anything outstanding
Order anything online that I need to

Other things I do to make my life easier:

Food shopping online and meal plan
Anything that can be paid by direct debit is!
Order presents for birthday party gifts from Amazon (and have prime) well in advance to stop paying over the odds for a last minute plastic toy from the high street
School stuff put out the night before
Always paying for trip letters for school/signing consent forms the minute I get them
Diary on my phone backed up on the cloud
Setting alarm reminders for anything really urgent/important
Try never to go upstairs without taking something with me that needs to be moved, eg clean washing
I do at least one load of washing every day without fail. If I don’t it builds up far too much.
I have a cleaner once a week which is a massive luxury

Watching and reading with interest

I'm just pleased I get to work, make tea and walk the dogs and do yoga class once in a while.

I get everything sorted as best i can a whole year in advance and then when everything does go tits up there are the mundane chores that need done but the rest of what is necessary is usually waiting all lined up to be dealt with.

Im not good at fitting exercise in though. I hope to get better at that soon.

Husband and I both work full time, one DS at school, no grandparents nearby. I travel overseas regularly. It’s just about being organised! My top tips :

Meal plan for the week and online grocery shop.

Amazon Prime for kids birthday presents, kids costumes for school (endless dressing up!!),house stuff that can be delivered next day

Cleaner, who irons, once a week

Good after school help who cooks for DS on weekdays

Paper diary with to do lists of life admin; use commute to do online ordering, banking, other planning, correspondence etc

Exercise on day I work from home and weekends when DS has sports clubs

Socialise mainly with friends at our/their homes meaning we bring kids along

Holidays are precious and generally involve total R&R given hectic nature of working weeks

Workingmummy

How did you go about getting your after school help? Does she do other jobs?

Im a single mum of 3 and id like a job share situation like that so perhaps if they were sick they could help each other, and me.

Both full time workers here with 7 12 and 20 year old and two dogs.

Antibacterial wipes go round the loo and bathroom sink every morning once I've done my teeth and a proper clean on weekend.

Antibacterial wipes round kitchen surfaces daily and a quick tidy away of clutter. Takes about five mins.

School bags and lunches and uniforms sorted night before.

Work bag sorted night before.

We have a quick general tidy round for five or so mins each night before me and dh go to bed.

Between us the hoover gets put round downstairs a few times a week due to malting dogs and the whole house is done once a week at same time as polishing up and downstairs.

Washing machine goes on about three times during the week and on weekend I do Bedding and towel loads aswell.

Generally keeping up during the week means less to do at weekend.

I iron on my day off in front of the tv catching up on box sets so enjoy it.

Admin I also tend to do on my day off. If I spend an hour sat doing it with tv on and then file it all.

Anything that comes in that's urgent il deal with there and then.

It's a busy but organised house.

I have 2 dcs, work full time, commute, long hours job, single parent

My kids are v independent (secondary school and get themselves there and back on their own), I have a cleaner for 3 hours a week, I am a master of a meal in under 30 mins, do online shopping for food.

I'm up at 6am, do an hour of chores in the morning before I go to work (washing/dishwasher). Come home at 730pm, do more chores while I cook dinner and am generally dead on my feet by 10pm

Kids are v good at helping out. They know they have to and there is no quibbling.

It's no life though and I'm looking for a job nearer home:)

I don't socialise during the week normally but then catch up on weekends!

I'm lucky in that I work Monday-Thursday school hours only. Friday on my day off I do housework/food shopping/washing.

To be honest though I never have that much to do at home really. I'm a single mum but only have one DC and we live in a low maintenance flat. No garden, no pets etc so cleaning is fairly minimal. My job isn't a "career" type job so as soon as I'm out the office then work is done for the day.

DS is still young and no activities apart from swimming lessons so weekends are really chilled for us. Family all live close by so it's easy to see them.

Day to day things are fairly smooth. Big family organiser helps as does u a cleaner, buying most clothes and shoes online and having DH do the food shop on his way home from work (except fresh food which is bought at the market Saturday Morning). We both work FT and have 2 DC

Im struggling at the moment because we're buying / selling and installing a kitchen in the new flat so lots of time is taken up with that, including medical appointments for the mortgage insurance etc.

Organizing childcare for the holidays is also a huge deal, as family live abroad so we need to book plane tickets etc a long time in advance... so we need to decide who is doing what 6-8 months in advance.

We also like holidays and weekends away which add to the mental load.

Routine is key to me, when the beds get changed, ironing gets done, towels get washed etc.

DD getting more involved as she gets older.

Ocado delivery every Thurs night, add what I need to it as I go in the week. Meal plan weekend food, week night is something out of the freezer.

Batch cook to put meals in the freezer (Bolognase, Chinese chicken, curry, chilli)

Sorry...

Constantly plan, what's the next event, get babysitter booked, haircuts/dentist/chiro/dog grooming always book the next one as I'm leaving that appt and put it in the diary.

Annual list of when the different insurances are due, boiler needs servicing etc so I can look at cost and sort it.

Never stop I think is the key!

Also if you're up half the night with the baby feeding it then go to full time work and the sedcond you walk through the door the baby is put in your arms and of course it wants feeding and if it is like our first it is awake all everying - she was for 3 mionths until about 12 or 2 so I would go to bed at 10 to get sleep whilst her father held her until mid night and then passed her to me at 2 or whatever.... that is when keeping on top of admin was hard for us - just very demanding baby and then toddler too and then 3 under 4. Once they got older it was all a lot better and when we could afford a cleaner much easier. 3 little children make an awful lot of mess. We had 3 in cloth nappies at night for a time before the oldest was dry at night.

@speakout - love the walk in the woods and I am so jealous you get to the gym. Like everything, whatever works for you 😊

@Aridane My mum always used to bleach the kitchen sink, wash the surfaces and wipe over the doors very morning so now I do the same. Maybe it’s weird. Could have just put clean kitchen I suppose 😂

Background: I work full time and do a lot of international travel with work, plus have 2 teenagers, I've recently finished an MSc with Open University. My DH works long hours and commutes in. Whilst I am in no way perfect my top tips are:

1. Cleaner once a week
2. I would love a dog but we don't have pets as mess takes time to clear up and they need exercise. We do walk a dog from borrowmydoggy.com once a week though :)
3. Don't iron anything, but fold/hang as soon as machine finishes
4. Online family central calendar to know what we are all doing
5. Online shopping for supermarket, Amazon for other stuff, I buy 90% of my clothes online too
6. We don't have clutter in the house apart from DH's desk :)
7. I do my family's birthdays, xmas etc. DH does his. I don't even ask if he does anything.
8. Eat out about once a week so no prep/clearing up
9. Hellofresh at 3 other dinners a week (love this) and the boys can cook them too occasionally

10. I do the washing/drying and folding but put it in 4 piles and they have to put it away before bed 11. I keep a rolling to do list 12. If I have a train/taxi journey or wait time (for kids) I use it to do admin - even a small job is a job ticked off 13. I deliberately don't socialise much due to time pressures unless away on business and therefore not at home 14. Sometimes I do food in advance (e.g. make 2 Shepherd's Pie, freeze one eat one) 15. No messing with special likes/dislikes (although one son has to be dairy free so we mostly are too) 16. All socks that go in the washing basket must be paired with a soklok as I'm not sorting 21+ pairs of socks a week! 17. They bring down plates/mugs etc from rooms and must put it in the dishwasher not on the side 18. As long as everyone is happy that's the main thing, don't worry about small stuff 19. Try and have school/work/home (or at least 2 out of the 3) close by 20. All paperless, all bills done online as automatically as possible

We keep on top most of the time - just!

I have said this before. I have an amazing friend who will come and blitz/do paperwork/declutter as needed. She's also the kindest person I know. She worked for me and changed my life totally. If anyone wants her details pm me.

BJ on pets... the day we gave away the last of the rabbits was such a relief in terms of less work (the twins had 3 rabbits and bred them and we ended up with quite a lot in a hutch thing stacked 4 hutches high).