To ask just how do you make it all work?? Life admin etc.

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Sort of inspired by the ‘perfect friend’ thread.

How do you keep on top of different aspects of your life and have time for it all? How do you make it work for you? Would really appreciate some constructive advice please!!

E.g. how do you keep on top of your job (if you work) as well as staying on top of housework and life admin? How do you even deal with life admin? Do you just make a massive to-do list of random bits and bobs and force yourself to stick to it and get through it?

...And how do you then make time for things like having a social life and doing things you enjoy?

I can never understand why people have so much ironing. I rarely iron my ds's school shirts are iron free ones. The PE t shirts I don't iron but ds reassures me nobody else's are ironed at school either, as I would do out of guilt!

That would seem to me to be the only pressing item that could do to be ironed in this household. I have always bought clothes that don't need ironing on the whole.

Perhaps I am just a bad housekeeper lol.

Filing gets done as it comes in. I recycle a lot of crap and regularly tidy up and take things to the charity shops as I hate bulging wardrobes.

Mojomoon’s tips are also mine

“Lower your standards .
Don't iron. Ever.
Cleaner once a week.
Don't sweat the small stuff - you are not living in a TV dream home.
Google calendar with reminders set for a few days in advance.
Online supermarket shopping. Add things via your phone to the shopping basket as and when you realise you need them
Online billing for everything. Go paperless.
Be ruthless and declutter your house. You don't need loads of things including that many toys and then less to tidy.”

I would also add

A DP who does just ask much. Eg pick ups/washing/cleaning/life admin.

I’m not that organised but I think after 2 DC I care less. We go out about once a month together and once a month separately with friends, we get a bottle of prosecco & take away on a Friday, cook simple but healthy-ish meals for us & DC in the week, we have a family holiday every year, plus a weekend away just the two of us. We’re lucky as my parents are 20 min walk away and are normal (ie helpful, kind, have their health & own life but happy to do babysitting & ad hoc childcare. The DCs love them).

But I definitely have lowered my standards. For example sheets get washed every two weeks, the garden gets weeded about once a year, cars rarely cleaned etc

I am not sure I am coping particularly well at the moment (and I only have one child so not sure how others manage it), but I:

Have a cleaner - three hours a week. A total god send and I couldn't keep on top of things without her. She does bathrooms, dusting, floors and a proper clean of the kitchen
Do very little ironing - DH does DD's school uniform and all his own stuff. I just iron what I need when I need it
Have low expectations of dinners mid week - salad, pasta, tapas-style dinner, is what we eat most nights
Have a list!
Try not to mind that I don't really get to rest during the week. It's dog, DD, work, DD, dog, dinner, laundry, life admin (sometimes on sofa with TV on and laptop on my lap!) and then bed do I can function

DH has been ill for the last month and I've literally done everything. I'm knackered and only just managing to stop things falling apart.

I wish I knew. I’ve been back at work a week after mat leave and am struggling. It will get easier I know but the things we do:

Get everything ready the night before - ds’ bag for nursery, lunches for work, clothes for work
Bills online
Standing orders/dd for everything we can
Meal planning
Calendar shared with dh which I follow religiously. Dh has been told if it’s not in there it isn’t happening (so far so good) I schedule everything. Gym sessions after work everything.

I wish I could online food shop but it’s not available here. We can have food delivered but have to go to the shop walk around pick it up and buy it so not overly useful if you still have to go there. Food shop is scheduled once a week.

I see work as a way to make money to help run our life. So many people only see their salary as a way to buy food, pay bills, and treats when they are affordable. I see a cleaner and payment of people to do work that keeps our lives running smoothly as more important than treats. I’d pay a cleaner for an hour sooner than buy a bottle of wine or have sky sports. Luckily I can afford both but if I couldn’t, I know which I’d prioritise.

Some admin I have to do myself and I keep a list. I do it when I have to be sitting at my desk anyway for work (self employed) so it never feels like a hassle.

Oh and I meal plan and online shop while at my desk once a week. Life is a lot less stressful when you know what you’re all going to eat and have all the ingredients waiting for you in the kitchen.

I just fucking get on with it.

Rule #1: stay on top of the laundry.
Rule #2: lower standards for tidiness.
Rule #3: fucking get off my ass and do it.

I feel overwhelmed daily by the tasks. It's reached a point where I swear I'll forget the big stuff as I'm trying to remember so much for the whole family. I'm permanantly knackered and don't sleep for worrying...

I work 4 days and boss won't let me drop to 3. DH gets back fairly late stressed. He does do some housework, but the mental burden falls to me. I'm also a taxi service to my kids.

My lists have lists and my life is stored on my phone. Constantly adding to it.

Do everything online - banking, paying lunches, ordering gifts etc.

My dear mother does my ironing

I should have taught DC to pull their weight as they're messy (wrappers, plates, dirty clothes on floor etc) and don't make it easy.

We bought a bigger house - bad mistake. More rooms to mess more bathrooms to clean.

I thought it would get easier now mine are 12, but it's harder I swear. I find the mental demands hard - trying to remember it all and having some capacity for work. I have a colleage - mid 30s- no kids who says "why do you need a tumble drier? I've never used one" or I don't get to sit down until 6" or "I've got nothing in for dinner, will potter around supermarket and see what I fancy". Try sitting down at 9.30 exhausted and then remember you've not made the packed lunches. Try doing laundry by the bucket load without a tumble. Try remembering dinner for 4 every night or DC will starve! (Joke). I had no idea of the demands before kids and am secretly envious of colleague's 'freedom'.

I'm 45 and wonder when it will get easier. I'm just (to coin a Walking Dead phrase) surviving somehow yet don't want to wish our lives away. I want to enjoy life more.

I wake every day thinking about it all. I'm lucky my parents are well and wonder how those cope with caring duties.

God that sounds bleak! We try to go out for lunch the weekend, otherwise it would be more chores and school sports kits laundered.

My house constantly has stuff out of place so agree that decluttering is sensible.

Does anyone watch The Split? I love the way they both work and the mother comes in late from a stressful job and doesn't have to stress about mess, feeding kids, school bags, pairing random socks, cleaning up cat sick, cleaning the hair from the plughole - the glamorous day to day grind. She has time to look smart and engage in some text flirting with colleague while her DH cooks a meal. I want that lifestyle!

OP I work full time, volunteer for a dance school, am also a yoga teacher and landlord, have a cleaner once a fortnight and am currently studying.

Paperwork gets done right about now. Because I'm in revision mode I'm not exercising. But usually go to the gym 5 times a week.

@Babyroobs something that struck me in your post (sorry if someone has already mentioned it), you have 4 teenagers and the ironing is never finished. I have one teen and a soon to be 10 year old. This means ironing is always done. Are you still doing theirs? If so, it's time to stop. When you get that job today, the rest of the family will need to step up.

Good luck today. And smile with your eyes (as well as your mouth).

I have a great balance, but my kids are not that young.

Gym 3/4 mornings a week. Work ( I work from home)
Bills set up as direct debits, I don't iron.
OH takes charge of the kitchen at weekends. So all food shopping/cooking/clearing up.

I have a lot of time to myself.

Reading this makes me wish even more we had some grandparents that lived closer!

I have a cleaning rota, done during DS bath time while DH is in charge :
Hoover - daily
Put toys away / declutter - daily
Bleach kitchen / wipe bathroom sinks - daily
Dust - every other day
Washing - every other day
Change beds - Wednesday
Clean bathrooms - Thursday
Ironing - Saturday

Daily Dog walk once DS is in bed; home, cook dinner.

DH gets DS up in the morning while I do admin (bank account check, pay any bills etc, also check mumsnet).

Any big changes like changing electricity company I do when DS naps or is in bed in the evening.

I work 3 days a week and it’s actually pretty manageable for now. I think if helps we have a playroom so all the toys go in there at the end of the day. We (DS and I) do supermarket shop and any house improvements on my days off (feel like house is full of workmen atm).

The bit we struggle with is time for us as a couple. We have date night at home every Thursday with a bottle of fizz but struggle to have an evening out just the two of us so tend to do a family lunch out on a Sunday once a month instead. I always make sure we’ve got a holiday planned (not flash, just Cornwall etc) so we know we have family time booked too as my husband only gets to top and tail the day while I do nursery drop off/ pick up etc and have two days a week with DS.

To be honest I am really lucky but I do work at it. Little and often works for me

PS this is why my posts on MN are so blunt. Lack of time. I only came to post about bedspreads.

parenting is tough-

I have no family help.

I find a good balance
It's not hard

I don't have a cleaning rota,
Hoover - twice a week
Put toys away / declutter - daily
Bleach kitchen / wipe bathroom sinks - twice a week
Dust - twice a month
Washing - every other day
Change beds - Every secondWednesday
Clean bathrooms - when they look grubby
Ironing - I don't iron.

Gym three times a week
Walk in the woods taking photographs- twice a week

I'm a single mum to a toddler, work full time in a stressful role/industry and study. I never know what posters are talking about when they say life admin. Bills and stuff are direct debit so no work required. Birthday presents bought online. Housework/laundry just get it done instead of stressing about it. A house is a finite area so once my sons asleep I do what needs doing. Doesn't take more than an hour.

Yes what someone said to making sure the kids are not lazy, entitled brats. I try really hard to make them come and pick up all their stuff and tidy after themselves. Coats, shoes, plates and cups. Toys they’ve fired out somewhere etc. I try to never go to them when they call me, if they want me they can come to me. I try to let them learn how to make their own breakfast and snacks. I’ve 4 under 6 at the moment, and the 5yr old can now make all 4 hot chocolate and tidy up after. They create so much work but it’s my job to train them to do it themselves, not run around after them.

i am pretty organised - i think it helps that i really like to be, an di love tidying (weird i know). my top tips:

marie kondo the whole house - basically declutters everything and makes me feel clean and serene. i did one area each weekend (an hour or so each) so it was done in a month max.
cleaner once a week.
tidy as you go along rather than leaving it all.
multi task - eg tidy bathroom whilst brushing teeth
only have one child!

I didn’t know people bleached kitchens!!

I get up an hour earlier than the children. Not always easy but once I'm up and about I feel awake. Gives me an extra hour in the day to hang out laundry, empty the dishwasher, have a shower, etc and I feel much calmer at the start of the day!

I make lists a lot and intersperse easily achievable things with the difficult things so I feel like I'm making good progress.

I try not to procrastinate over small jobs and just do them then and there.

I squeeze jobs into a spare couple of minutes eg clean kitchen surfaces whilst waiting for the kettle to boil.

I put laundry on every morning before work and iron it every evening so that the laundry pile doesn't build up.

I know which corners i can cut without having a serious impact.

Get everything ready for school/work the night before so I don't feel too frazzled.

I work through break and half my lunch hour to make sure I keep on top of stuff but make sure I always have at least a few minutes away to recharge.

But.... superficially I look like I'm coping, still find it difficult though and comfort eat massively to deal with the stress. I think it's just really really hard to keep on top of things and recognising that most people feel the same way can help you to feel less guilty!

Redforfilth - my life admin includes:
Booking the car in to have the brakes fixed
Organising a decorator for a flat we let
Contacting the other freeholder about the buildings insurance
Booking flights for holiday and family visit
Arranging play dates for DD
Getting presents for upcoming birthdays
Tax return
Remembering to return that form to the bank
Arranging summer hours with the childminder
Planning to see friends
Booking a doctor's appt
Booking us all dentists appt
Booking a vet appointment to renew the dog's flea/tick treatment

Just a sample!

I’m organised. Things are done on time and my house is clean and tidy.

I don’t iron anything.

Cleaner once a week.

Life admin - I don’t find this difficult to keep on top of. Unless you are going through a major event like divorce, house purchase, extension there isn’t THAT much to do that you can’t occasionally knock off a task a day at lunchtime or have a blast at the weekend.

Washing - washing isn’t an issue but putting away clothes is my pet hate. Try to wear less stuff... if the jumper isn’t dirty or smelly don’t wash it after one wear!

Food shopping - pick up things on an add hoc basis from Waitrose on my way home supplemented with a massive Tesco delivery of store cupboard side every month or so.

I'm not particularly on top of things, and it only takes me being ill for any reason and the housework in particular just falls apart but I TRY to do this
Clean once a week
Don't iron
Kids do as much sorting of their own stuff as possible
Work term time only!
Do stuff as it arises, e.g. if there is a form just fill it and do it straight away. If it gets into a pile it never gets done.

Why would you want to bleach a kitchen?

I never " bleach" my kitchen.

What's that all bout?

@ImogenTubbs a lot of your things on that list would be quicker to just do than to write on a list and stress about them!

Presents for upcoming birthdays? Order on amazon app when you have a spare 5 mins waiting to pick your children up.

Need to make a dentist appointment? Call up NOW it will only take 2 mins.

Arrange to see friends... um, that’s not really ‘life admin’! That’s something nice to sort out surely?

Tax return - that’s a once a year job unless you’re needing to do balancing payments in which case id move that into ‘work’ and out of ‘life’ admin.