To ask just how do you make it all work?? Life admin etc.

[NameChangeTimeNow]

Sort of inspired by the ‘perfect friend’ thread.

How do you keep on top of different aspects of your life and have time for it all? How do you make it work for you? Would really appreciate some constructive advice please!!

E.g. how do you keep on top of your job (if you work) as well as staying on top of housework and life admin? How do you even deal with life admin? Do you just make a massive to-do list of random bits and bobs and force yourself to stick to it and get through it?

...And how do you then make time for things like having a social life and doing things you enjoy?

I’m a single parent to 2 DC ages 10 and 8, and work FT as a teacher, life in term time is manic and I’m rarely in bed before midnight. I’ve decided lately I can’t do it all, so I’m going down to 4 days a week. Hopefully in that one day I’ll get the housework/life admin done and my sanity back!

I think the trouble is that a lot of people who manage it seem to be so organised (eg the ones who don’t see it as life admin think there is much to do). I am fundamentally disorganised and need it explaining exactly how and when I should do all these things. I either meet people who find it impossible so can’t help, or people who find it easy who can’t explain . It’s like tidying as you go. I have never been able to manage that ever, but others say it is easy .

I'm just not sure what life admin means? Bills are all paid by direct debit monthly.

I walk the dog in the morning, work 6 or 7 hours of the day, cook dinner after work, then have the whole evening free to watch tv/browse the internet once young DC are in bed.

On weekends we find fun things to do / places to go with the kids.

We keep the house [vaguely] clean as we go, occasionally taking a spare half an hour here or there to clean the bathroom or whatever.

Oh and I don't own an iron! What a pointless piece of equipment,.

I’m a single mum to 2 teens so I’m a taxi as well, I work full time do a lot of volunteering and am doing professional exams as well just now.
My parents help out a lot and if the house isn’t spotless, I’m past caring lol

I am fundamentally disorganised and need it explaining exactly how and when I should do all these things

How and when you should do all what things, though? That's the part I don't get!

Get a dishwasher

Diegomadonna my current life admin list in my head includes:
Book DC dentist appointments
Forms/ payments for Brownies etc
Fill in tax credits renewal
Get quotes and book builder for jobs on the house that need doing
Book car for MOT
Take a load of stuff to the tip/charity shop

I could keep going!

Work am lucky that i have two part time jobs, one starts ten minutes after the other one finishes and i have a three minute walk through town between jobs three days a week,
half a day on thursday so i come home and hoover right through the house and clean bathroom
do ironing and kitchen cleaning on fridays
washing in machine in morning ,on airer in the afternoon,
bed changed on saturday after work so lunch time
social life mainly evenings and weekends
two adults no children just 2 cats
bills paperwork garden mowing, bin emptying and washing up are OHs jobs

I’m struggling with the fact some people don’t seem to think there is life admin, just bills ...
Life admin,
Birthday parties for DC
Haircuts, Dentist,opticians
Car service, MOT
Alarm service
Smear , mamogram
Tax returns, bills
I’ve lost my mum, so all the admin that for lowed.
Parents evenings
Looking at potential schools
Booking holidays
Going through DC wardrobes and getting rid of the stuff they’ve grown out if.
Ordering more
Birthday cards, invitation replies
Planning Xmas
photos
And that’s without all the daily laundry, homework, cleaning, cooking ..

What's the going rate for a cleaner these days?

Ohhh okay, I get it. Just never heard it called life admin before. And I guess we just kind of do it whenever it comes up, so I don't feel like we need a to-do-list or anything like that.

I think most people find it harder than they like to admit. I am just approaching 40 used to work 40-50hrs per week , did cooking cleaning, ironing etc etc, now have a 5 yr old work pt (3 full days a week) and find it a struggle to do it all now!! Cant imagine how i used to do it!! Dont put yourself down everyone does the best they can !

Have this as your mantra, OP

Medication and online shopping......seriously!!!!

I work full time and run a house....I also deal with my son and 2 stepchildren that are a fucking nightmare. Pick your battles, know your limits and make lists!!! Also, don't swear the small stuff, you're a human, not a robot!

I wonder this all the time too OP. I have all my bills set up through direct debit/standing order otherwise I’ll forget to pay them. I can’t keep a diary or to do list because I forget to check them. I do my housework once a week on my day off work. My home is far from perfect with a designated table for the clean washing that never gets cleared because I just simply do not have the time or energy. I’m a single parent and work 5-6 days a week in a job I walk 6+ miles a day whilst carrying a 10kg bag and running up and down at least 60 flights of stairs a day. I think it is a case of little and often but I’m too lazy for that ha ha

E.g. current life admin example, I am cat sitting for my neighbours. Today they had a parcel delivery note from one of those really awkward parcel companies that delivers twice then keeps your package. They are abroad. I need to text them to see what they want me to do, then possibly log onto the system and arrange redelivery of their parcel. That will take at least 15 mins as I know from experience how shit the system is.

We need to have some work down on our house. This might involve scaffolding. I need to have quotes, talk to neighbours and then book it in. Probably a couple of hours work there.

Plus there is no way on this earth my kids would be asleep at 7pm.

Totally agree with everyone else’s life admin lists. It’s never ending.

I work and we have two large, young dogs. One is too nervous for us to get a cleaner atm

I’m quite strict about DCs tidying up after themselves (teen, 8yrs and 4yr old DTs).
I’ve got a very wipe clean downstairs, lots of leather and wood, and routines for everyone to pitch in with tidying up at set times.

Lots of storage so everything has its place.

DH is equally involved with household stuff so I’m not drowning on my own!

People who don’t know what life admin is....

Do you or anyone in your family not:
Go to the dentist
Go to the opticians
Have medical appointments
Have meetings - at school, for voluntary role or clubs
Shop around for best insurance quotes - home, car, travel
Pay in cheques at the bank
Pick up presriptions
Arrange car service, tax and insurance
Arrange boiler service
Odd jobs/things that need fixed/need to visit specialist shops for things/have work done on the house/garden
Deal with messages about lift shares, school trips, clubs, birthday invitations, play dates
Pay for school dinners, trips, holiday balances, tickets for events, subscriptions, clubs etc
Forms to fill in for school, clubs,
Deal with remortgaging/finance/legal issues, even just checking your bank statement/credit card statement
Meter readings
Give blood
Open and deal with post
Sort things and sell or take to charity shop

I could go on

Ok, so some of these are annual, but chances are at least one of them crops up each month, which when you run a tight ship can throw out the routine and generally add to the mental load as well as actual workload.

By making sure that all work is fairly shared with my partner, including all the 'mental load' and 'emotional labour.' (So, like all the fiddly jobs, the remembering birthdays, school meetings etc). We have a proper meeting for a hour on Sunday so it's treated like a real job to be discussed and shared.

namechange I deal with a lot of those things but I don't need a list for any of them, and I never thought of them as particularly difficult. I just do them as and when. If one of us has to go to the doctor/dentist/garage/school meeting/wherever, you just go.

I'm not saying life isn't busy, but some people do like to make a mountain out of a molehill.

Everything Mojomoon said:

Cleaner once a week
Calendar/diary all in my phone
Say no to literally everything - most family events, school events, extracurricular stuff, social stuff.
Husband who does stuff (washes uniforms, cooks dinner)
One day off work a week
Self sufficient kids
Few/no out of school activities
Messy bedrooms, reasonable downstairs rooms (cleaner!)

The only bit we can’t manage is social life. We have none, we just can’t make time/energy. If ever we get invited to stuff, it’s a burden to go, because we’re too knackered.

It’s really tough, and I get burnt out/ill a lot but I have to say I have managed to move myself from a position of abject misery seven years ago to relative happiness now.

Twinkletoes lucky you my meds are having quite the opposite effect morphine and solpadol mixed does not make for an energetic person

@namechangeranonymous I guess I just don't consider any of those things to be particularly difficult to sort out.

My dentist/optician text me a reminder and I ring straight away to book an appointment. No hassle or work involved there.

I don't volunteer or participate in any kind of club. I wouldn't enjoy the obligation of having to go on a regular basis so I opt out of that kind of thing.

I can't remember the last time I even used a cheque, let alone had to pay one in anywhere.

I don't consider booking an MOT to be admin really - it takes five minutes to sort out. Same with insurance - it's a once a year job that takes maybe an hour at most?

I don't have children so none of the school/play date stuff is applicable to me. I accept some of this isn't optional and can be stressful, though.

All my bills are online and any post is either junk or telling me to book the MOT etc. I just open post each day and deal with it there and then.

I guess I see a lot of these things as just normal life tasks - I just get on and do them and I don't really understand how they seem to take up hours of people's time!

Diego you obviously don’t need the help of this thread, and haven’t offered any wise tips, given you have it all sussed!