Grandparents having the right to have time with grandchildren

[yike]

AIBU to think this needs to be thought through very carefully and the appropriate safeguards put in place before it goes ahead? I'm all for children maintaining relationships with family (and friends) when parents' relationships break down (particularly so, as it could be an important constant for them), but equally where there has been bad blood there is a real risk as when parents themselves use the kids as pawns in their arguments that grandparents could do the same. Is the idea that this would just apply after a divorce - what about at other times when families are NC? Could grandparents just demand to see grandchildren against the wishes of both parents? What if said GP have a history of manipulation, posting photos of the children on social media without parents' consent, or other questionable behaviour?

Is there a link?

My dc cry and beg us not to say send them if they see them more than a few times every so often. My Mil is so manipulative. They would manipulate the dc...then when dc saw them more than regular the reality would kick in.. What then?
Sounds like a hideous idea..

I don't think grandparents have a right to see the children. It's more that the children have a right to see their grandparents, especially if they have taken a large role in childcare and have a close relationship.

There's another thread about this here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3242528-To-think-this-is-f-cking-terrifying

Hot off the press and fucking barking

"The issue was debated in the House of Commons last week, with Conservative MP Nigel Huddleston saying he had heard stories of grandparents who have tried to send birthday cards or Christmas gifts to their grandchildren and found themselves being visited by the police and accused of harassment."

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/grandparents-rights-grandchildren-after-divorce-family-law-a8339521.html

I think that children have the right to see their grandparents if at all possible. Not sure about the right going the other way, though. But, particularly if they have been very involved, I do think that there would have to be a very good reason for them not to keep seeing each other.

Milkicent what reasons does the law recognise?

Emotional abuse? Narcs? I find this terrifying.

Although I really hope this doesn't happen as FIL is a real scum bag who did his best to ruin our lives and I don't want him anywhere near DS.

"Milkicent what reasons does the law recognise?"

No idea. And obviously there will be very good reasons for some grandparents not to have contact. But in most cases, I think it would be better for the children to maintain an existing relationship.

Looking at the record of the debate, it was in Westminster Hall, so effectively a meaningless 'adjournment debate' probably, that any MP can cause to happen for a bit of publicity, and has no teeth and no real purpose other than self-aggrandizement for the politician and usually a very pushy constituent.

It'll go nowhere.

hansard.parliament.uk/Commons/2018-05-02/debates/4532C0A2-3EDC-4113-BB87-C303A16763BC/AccessRightsToGrandparents#contribution-C36D574D-2A34-4B10-B661-A3D0BB98B8A1

Oh, it was an Adjournment Debate? Not even worth discussing then.

Never going to happen.

"The issue was debated in the House of Commons last week, with Conservative MP Nigel Huddleston saying he had heard stories of grandparents who have tried to send birthday cards or Christmas gifts to their grandchildren and found themselves being visited by the police and accused of harassment."

And ?

Or does this MP believe that we need to change the law so that relatives can't be prosecuted for anything ?

I really hope this doesn't happen too. I think my mother would seek access to my children just to spite me. If she ever did, I would run to the other side of the world to keep my children away from her court order or not.
She is a vile creature, who over the years, has tried to reel us in and then eventually revealed herself to be exactly the same as she's always been. And every time it's more emotional distress for us all. This time we are determined to never look back. She was horribly abusive physically and emotionally to me throughout my childhood, I left her house at 15 and I'll be damned if I let anybody like that be near my children.

My issue with GP’s rights is when and how often would they be able to insist on access if any sort of law is passed?
For example what happens if you split up with the father of your children, who then has access to your DC’s every other weekend. You are both NC with his parents. If GP’s rights became recognised and legally enforceable then which parent gives up their time with the DC in order to facilitate this? How often would they be expected to see them, once a month, a few times a year?
Also where does the line get drawn? Could aunts/uncles/other close relatives start demanding access?

I also think it is completely down to the parents who they want around their children. Children do no need grandparents who could be toxic or emotionally abusive (very difficult to prove but is often quoted as the reason why parents prevent them seeing other extended family members).

I personally do not think parents should be forced to allow their children in the company of anyone they disapprove of. It’s their decision alone to make

Madness. Hell would freeze over before I allowed unsupervised access for my in-laws to my child

Also imagine the above scenerio in my first paragraph. What happens if a couple split and are both NC with both sets of GPs.
Are the children expected to start having their time split 4 ways? 45% with mum, 45% with dad and 5% of the time with each set of GP’s?
And again what if grandma and grandpa are divorced and both insisting upon seeing the children at different points? Should the parents be enforced to split their time potentially with 4 other adults at different times?

I know it seems extreme but I’m sure there are families like this. It’s insane to say GP’s should have legal rights to their GC’s... think of all the implications involved in this

Dreadful

Daft idea. Legally unworkable. Practically too.
kids have 'rights' to see their GP's if they want but certainly not the other way around.

I think Esther ranzten needs to educate herself about the other side.

How many gp would have stronger happier relations with her their gc if rather thank Moaning and presenting themselves at Disney grandparents actually asked, listened to what grievances are.

aroom we always say to dc 🔝 tell us when they want to see gp and on the the date occasion they have asked we have facilitated this.

We make sure they see them a few times a year. The dc really look forward to seeing them a few times a year.
Anymore and they cry, complain and moan. Pils would never ever tales this on board. They feel dc should seem the far way more regularly and get into the thiers regime. Mil already makes older
dd feel l
guilty.

I would flee the country/move to an underground bunker before my MIL got unsupervised access to DS. Luckily OH is in agreement, but a legally protected right could be quite frankly dangerous!

I'm sure courts would consider any issues raised. I doubt it would be an automatic right regardless of objections.
I think it's a good thing so long as what's best for a child is the main consideration.
I've known women who have deliberately blocked an exes parents from seeing their grandchild for no other reason than spite.

I’m with you on that Peapod

@Gottagetmoving how? If their father shares custody of them then it’s his responsibility and right to take them to visit when he has them? I’m not being goady I genuinely don’t understand how, unless their son also doesn’t want his parents around his kids?

I wouldn’t be happy about this. I have a Mum who would use this to get at me. I’ve finally gone NC recently and cannot be dealing with that shit again. I even tried to get her to still see my child but she wouldn’t work with me, I’ve already told my child she won’t be seeing nanny anymore so anything to jeopardise that would piss me off.