Grandparents having the right to have time with grandchildren

[yike]

AIBU to think this needs to be thought through very carefully and the appropriate safeguards put in place before it goes ahead? I'm all for children maintaining relationships with family (and friends) when parents' relationships break down (particularly so, as it could be an important constant for them), but equally where there has been bad blood there is a real risk as when parents themselves use the kids as pawns in their arguments that grandparents could do the same. Is the idea that this would just apply after a divorce - what about at other times when families are NC? Could grandparents just demand to see grandchildren against the wishes of both parents? What if said GP have a history of manipulation, posting photos of the children on social media without parents' consent, or other questionable behaviour?

Honestly- it was an Adjournment debate. It really, really isn't going to happen. No need to worry.

I think FuzzyWuzzy totally nailed it.

The sad thing is @Ohmydayslove

They have been "supportive" in terms of child care - or baby sitting rather...but we have realised its come at a cost thats a high price to pay, mil is judgmental - unpleasant - has no boundaries and after a sleep over the dc were begging not to go again soon, for a break because she has ultra strict house rules.

anyway - I think from what we see on here most families like my own have agnosied over this - what is the right level of contact, etc etc etc its never ever been taken lightly. There is a good reason most of the time if contact has been lowered or stopped. But its these nuances that would be very very hard to get over to a court.

Honestly- it was an Adjournment debate. It really, really isn't going to happen. No need to worry

I dont know - one never knows. Hopefully if something did come of it it would take years by which point my dc would be old and robust enough...its sad that only side is being put out by the media

SunwheretheFareyou - that's the way things are with PILs.

Not as regards babysitting because they only saw DS a handfull of times before we estranged.

But in other things. Seeing them was always a transaction. If they gave something we always had to pay them back one way or another. Everything had a price. Just half the time we didn't know what form that price would take or how high it might be. And if we didn't meet it, even if we didn't know what it was, they would throw "after we did XYZ for you and this is how you repay us" at us.

What happens in Westminster Hall stays in Westminster Hall. This was not a debate in the House of Commons.

For me, this debate comes down to one key difference, that is, who is negatively affected by each possible outcome.

Situation:

1. Genuinely good GPs are sadly CO through no fault of their own. Court doesn't uphold contact.

Result: upset GPs, upset children, no abuse.

1. Genuinely good GPS are CO - contact ordered.

Result: happy GPS, happy GC, potentially angry/abusive parents who then have to facilitate contact.

1. Toxic GPS are CO for good reasons which may or may not be visible to a court. Contact denied.

Result: upset GPs, happy parents, oblivious children.

1. Toxic GPS are CO and contact granted.

Result: happy GPS, upset parents, potential for abuse of children.

Personally, I think that if there is a risk of 4, the courts can't bank on situations being 1. Potential for the abuse/neglect of a child is too much to risk, IMO, when balanced against an adult feeling upset about a sad situation.

I have never been married to either my ex who I have a dd with or my dp who I have a ds with. So I suppose it would not affect me but I am still don't believe this is the right move.
My ex has been a useless dad but his mother is fantastic and I would never stop/ hinder the lovely bond my dd and his mother have.
My dp's mother is a piece of work who has very very minimal contact with ds ie. Birthday xmas supervised with the children. My dp is in agreeable to this.

I think the government needs to trust the parents who gave these children life that they are capable of making the right and safe decisions for our children.
The courts are busy enough with genuine parental injustice when it comes to acess and visitation. Furthermore the rights of the parents seem to be becoming less and less.
And yes i know there are the small few who use their children as weapons. They make it hard for everyone.

sunwherethefareyou

Awful it’s hard to understand the toxicity of some people and why they do what they do. Sad for everyone but especially the children.