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Original poster

Only 1 not invited to wedding

383 replies

happylion · 07/05/2018 00:43

So it's a small team, only 5 of us, one of the girls got married this weekend, we're told it was only family only no problems I understand weddings and budget etc, however tonight I've found okout that I was the only one not to have been invited, I feel such a dick, I even organised a card and brought a gift, we went for drinks the other day and toasted her up coming wedding, but they all knew I wasn't invited and they were!
Bride is now away for a few weeks on honeymoon, and I'll be seeing the other girls in the office on Tuesday, I found out as I saw a picture of them all on Instagram and I liked it, so they will know I've seen it, I'm hurt, embarrassed and actually annoyed, i thought we were all friends, it's the lies ! Why lie? 😔 wwyd?

OP posts:
margesimpson40 · 09/05/2018 22:08

Enough of this, to me the OP now wondering about the hen night. We don't know any of these people and were judging strangers in the opinion and story of another stranger. I'm really sorry you didn't get invited OP, I am, but if they are a bunch of twats they will want a reaction and want the whole drama around it. Don't mention it and please don't be pissy with the bride and ruin the memory of her, yes her wedding day. It could have been handled better, but don't keep it going, show them you don't care.

Glaciferous · 09/05/2018 22:42

@margesimpson40 Have you actually read the OP's posts? Of course it's blatant lying! They specifically told her they hadn't been invited, not even to the evening party.

Why on earth should happylion care about ruining the bride's memory of the wedding day anyway? The bride and the other colleagues did not care about ruining the OP's memory of their friendship, which was a lot more than just one day.

margesimpson40 · 09/05/2018 23:18

Again this is all according to one person the OP ... You cannot encourage someone to do x,y and a when were not in possession of all the facts.... Ok, OP, if it's exactly as you say and there's no reason for this to have happened, I apologise , but don't lower yourself to their childish level anchors maybe time to look for another job, you're unhappy and life is to shirt to spend most of the week with people who make you miserable, again i am sorry, I was just trying to get posters to realise everything not black and white every time and they just don't get it . I'm really sorry you have been treated like this xx

Arcticwonder · 10/05/2018 12:39

@margesimpson40 why not try reading the OP’s posts in future - then adjust your responses accordingly.OP has risen above and not lowered herself. You’d know that if you read her posts.

margesimpson40 · 10/05/2018 12:55

Acting like a child saying she'll get her own lunch is passive aggressive behaviour thus lowering herself to their level, I'm taking myself off this, no one is taking the point that were only getting one side of the story. I've had people act like the OP has and they just happen to forget to mention what they had done before. Not saying OP has done anything wrong, but we don't know that's the point. Too good at reacting to half stories on this page, typical NT behaviour.

FullOfJellyBeans · 10/05/2018 12:58

It's very unkind to exclude a single person in that kind of situation. More so for all of them to lie about it. People use the "stress" of weddings as an excuse to act horribly but it is no excuse at all. I'd much rather have a simpler wedding or shell out a little extra and be a nice person and not exclude anyone.

FullOfJellyBeans · 10/05/2018 13:07

margesimpson40 Don't be silly. Of course we only have one side of the story. We always do. If the OP has deliberately mislead us then she'll know the support she got isn't justified. It doesn't matter if we misjudge the situation because we're not having any effect on the people involved. If the OP is inaccurate the advice won't be useful to the OP.

PotteryLady · 10/05/2018 13:09

They are acting like teenagers- just bitches. Hold your head up you have done nothing wrong

CosyLulu · 10/05/2018 13:10

How have things been at work happylion?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 10/05/2018 13:17

Truth is though, they (the bride) should be the one feeling ashamed, not you.

Totally this ^

What a spiteful thing to do.

Bride's a bitch ; the others are, at best, cowards - do nothing for any of them ever again.

Smithy01 · 10/05/2018 18:31

Op said she had made other plans for lunch not she would get her own lunch. Either way this is passive aggressive!!!! - really. Come on unbelievable!!!!!

margesimpson40 · 10/05/2018 19:36

Ffs of course obsessive aggressive, she's pissed off and not saying it. That's what passive aggression is and right now I'm pissed off at !myself for giving a shit about agreeing with a bunch of strangers. I really need to get a life I think. Sorry OP, I'll apologise to you, you're probably lovely and don't deserve it. Sorry, I really am xx

CornforthWhite · 10/05/2018 20:05

Hero 🤩

fourandnomore · 10/05/2018 22:27

OP have things been ok for you at work?

RadiantResults · 11/05/2018 14:22

Margesimpson she has told one of them that she's upset. I'm sure they've discussed it. What more do you want? It's not passive aggressive to not go with lunch with people who've treated you badly. It's called not being a doormat.

boywiththebrokensmile2 · 11/05/2018 21:41

''They are acting like teenagers- just bitches. ''

Funny how so many people here and indeed society associate such behaviour the op mentions as to being solely childish or being female like 'bitchy' behaviour and surprised when adults act like this. As you get older you realise that the behaviour the op mentions often does not end in the playground and much bullying, bitching, backbiting, tantrums and hostile behaviour often occurs in the adult world in both sexes. I have often seen groups of men[yep men-not teenagers or females] exhibit pretty identical behaviour on their male counterparts and leave a male out of their night out etc. I think one of the biggest myths is that men don't bitch or go into cliches and become bitchy-it is more of a group/human nature thing than a gender thing or a teenager thing.

MadMags · 11/05/2018 21:57

I’d be really hurt. They were completely shitty.

You handled it so well, OP! Flowers

Sice · 12/05/2018 07:42

Colleagues at work can be mean and insensitive always remember it's not about you it's them. I too work in a female oriented department and when I had a miscarriage even if they knew no one could comfort me family and friends were there

eileandonan · 23/05/2018 09:21

How are things going now happylion

Caribou58 · 23/05/2018 09:46

It's definitely hurtful. I speak as someone who, aged 18, was the only one of my group not invited to one of our school year group's 18th birthday do (it was a BIG do). nearly 42 years later, it still hurts if I allow myself to think about it.

I don't think I'd be able to avoid raising it if - like you - we all worked together.

greendale17 · 23/05/2018 10:02

@margesimpson40 - maybe you like being a doormat?

**It's not passive aggressive to not go with lunch with people who've treated you badly. It's called not being a doormat.”

^I completely agree.

margesimpson40 · 23/05/2018 11:21

I wouldn't go, I would tell them exactly why. Otherwise it's passive aggressive.maybe it's just me and my ASD

olbndansmummy · 25/05/2018 04:41

Any update happy? Is bride back in the office yet?

jeangeniebiglippedmeanie · 25/05/2018 09:40

@happylion

How are things now? Is the bride back?

Mirrorwriting · 28/05/2018 23:14

Please update op.

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