Only 1 not invited to wedding

[happylion]

So it's a small team, only 5 of us, one of the girls got married this weekend, we're told it was only family only no problems I understand weddings and budget etc, however tonight I've found okout that I was the only one not to have been invited, I feel such a dick, I even organised a card and brought a gift, we went for drinks the other day and toasted her up coming wedding, but they all knew I wasn't invited and they were!
Bride is now away for a few weeks on honeymoon, and I'll be seeing the other girls in the office on Tuesday, I found out as I saw a picture of them all on Instagram and I liked it, so they will know I've seen it, I'm hurt, embarrassed and actually annoyed, i thought we were all friends, it's the lies ! Why lie? 😔 wwyd?

''I think the best thing you can do now is detach. Be professional and polite but you know now that you're not friends with these people. She presumably had some reason for not inviting you and that's her call but all of them together compounded the hurt and confusion. They're not trustworthy and they don't have an ounce of loyalty.''

This. Yep remain dignified but sometimes people can suprise you and friendships you valued were not valued by other people. See them as colleagues, say nothing, hold your dignity and detach yourself although be polite and courteous. As others have said too, i would look for other job if possible.

Similar happened to me many years ago. One of our solicitors got married and I thought I would go and watch as she said it was only close family. I got there and watched my colleagues come out of church.

Strangely, my boss said to me a few weeks before to never tell this colleague anything I did not want management to hear ie she was a trouble causer and grass. I thought it very odd and even odder he didn't attend the wedding as one of the partners at the firm. Must have really got to her because she was a real social climber. I felt really stupid and humiliated and found it hard to accept they did not like me.''

Was it not the bride that disliked you? Why did you think none of them liked you?How did you handle it afterwards>?

Nasty behaviour.... if nothing else has happened at work then I would ignore. The wedding will quickly become old news. Unfortunately as this thread shows it’s not that unusual. I wouldnt change jobs unless it suited me. If you can have a positive “colleague” relationship then stay put. Good luck.

Years ago I had a similar situation with 4 lifelong friends, anyway it ate at me until i eventually confronted 1 of them 2 years later. Of course the person feigned ignorance and said it was an open invite when it wasn't,people will generally deny it if confronted.... To this day all these years later I see them as different people now and I am also alot less trusting of people in general now around me and once you have being hit like that I don't think you can ever truly trust people again ever or let your guard down. I guess it goes to show you have to be very careful in who you trust or who you get close to and with people in general lower your expectations.

''OP the whole thing was probably about telling a "kind" lie to spare your feelings

I've been told on here that a kind lie is better than the truth''

No a kind lie is a lie you tell that cannot be proved wrong and used to spare feelings and be a nice person eg. ''you are not fat...you look really young.... you look so pretty...you have a really good personality....I love your outfit...'' A lie in this instant was in no way a kind lie as it was inevitable the truth would come out and just humiliate and hurt.

Hope work is on today?

Hope work is ok too OP

Rise above it, I'd be smiling and saying very little.

Morning, just wanted to update if anyone was interested,

Had a great day yday with friends and hubby, so realised I'm okay!!

Went into work today , was actually on the phone when I went in, (with my own coffee, normally would of picked one up for the others) sat down, and just started, abit of general chat, I said I thought the bride looked really pretty, then I made myself busy, actually i felt abit empowering , they looked awkward as I bet they want to talk about the weekend but feel they can't,
then they just asked what I was ordering for lunch, ( we normally order food from a cafe locally then go down to save time) and I just said no thanks got other plans for lunch )

I'm a big girl, got lots of opportunities work wise coming up, and lots of lovely stuff going on in my home life, I was surprised about this whole weekend, but it's not the end of the world, and I think it makes them all look abit childish,
I'm grateful for all the support and kind comments!

I wonder if any of them caught the bouquet lol!

Good for you, OP. I hope they continue to feel awkward and ashamed.

Good on you op 👍

You have a lovely attitude to this OP. Good for you .

Thanks for update. You did fab!

What a great attitude. Xxxx

Good for you. When they go low, you go high!

Good op, just see them as colleagues, don't get involved, keep your work life and home life separate.

Excellent OP, best way to deal with it.

Although after 'friend' saying how weird it was that we weren't invited I would have had to tell her she was a sly fucker.

Glad to hear it went ok happylion, I imagine you weren't looking forward to the potent awkwardness this morning so it's good to have that out of the way and well done for doing it on your terms .

Perfect! That was really well handled.

Good for you op well played. What a bunch of nasty bitches who are obviously not good enough to be your friends.

Keep it professional and detach so keep work and home seperate. Honestly some people

Yay you rise above it!!

Go you!!!! Keep us informed of any developments!!!

Awesome handling of a crappy situation OP! Well done.

Well done. You should feel proud of yourself.

Well done OP, that sounds like you've handled it really well.

I agree with the PP who commented on the colleague who lied to you but then said it wasn't her place to tell you.

Maybe she felt that it wasn't her place to tell you the Bride had invited them but it was her choice to tell such an obvious lie and it is sly to "wonder why we're not invited" when she knew she was.

In the face of all of that, you've done well today to rise above it.