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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think he can’t actually be serious?

172 replies

CandiedPeach · 06/05/2018 15:09

I’m separated from DD’s Dad, but we get on well. He’s been away and only got home last night early this morning. Wasn’t expecting to hear or see him this weekend, he’d says he see DD Tuesday last we spoke.
But anyway he text today to see if we were home and if he could call and see DD for a little bit. I said it was fine, just having a garden play day with the paddling pool out and stuff.
So he called around 11, DD rubs over excited and he says “what’s she wearing?” I think he’s meaning her hat she choose a Batman one at the shop, so I say she chose it.
But no, she had a football shirt on and it’s not his football team! I honestly didn’t know and actually thought he’d maybe bought it, it was a bit big so I thought it was quite a good cover up t shirt while she was in the water. But apparently it’s my dads football team and we agreed she wouldn’t support them! I’ve absolutely no recollection of that as a conversation and ffs she’s not even two, so who cares.

I thought he must be joking and laughed it off and got her another t shirt and said you can change her if you can’t look at it. But I said and meant it jokingly, we can usually joke with each other. He did change it, but stayed and played with her, seemingly fine. But then sent a message when he’d left saying, he really doesn’t want her wearing it again!

I’m not sure what to reply as I really don’t think this is a thing. He’s a big football fan but I’ve never known him be silly over it and him and my dad always got on, they’d joke over it, but nothing more.
I’m thinking he can’t actually be serious so might just send a jokey reply, but the tone of the message strikes me that he’s serious and I don’t want to cause problems over nothing.

OP posts:
Phimosa · 06/05/2018 15:11

People can be very weird about football, it’s real tribalism!

BuntyII · 06/05/2018 15:12

What a twat 😂

user2085372673 · 06/05/2018 15:12

It’s obviously important to him, I’d just say that’s fine and promise not to do it again. Seems barking mad to me but I don’t like football.

Daddystepdaddy · 06/05/2018 15:14

Pillock, it's just a game.

teaandtoast · 06/05/2018 15:14

How would he react if she (eventually) chooses your dad's team or, like many people, has no interest in football?

GabriellaMontez · 06/05/2018 15:16

Prick

YouTheCat · 06/05/2018 15:18

Have his team been relegated? He might be feeling a bit off if they have.

Is he a Sunderland supporter?

SandAndSea · 06/05/2018 15:20

I've got a lovely, male friend whom I've known for years. He's gentle and funny and loves women but, I've learnt not to joke about certain aspects of football around him. He takes it very seriously. Many men fight each other over this stuff. I wouldn't underestimate how serious he is being over this.

IAmMatty · 06/05/2018 15:22

Oh tell him to fuck off. Is he 7???

araiwa · 06/05/2018 15:22

He cares about football, you dont. You didnt even know she had the shirt so its hardly a trauma not to wear it again.

CandiedPeach · 06/05/2018 15:22

Honestly teaandtoast until today I’d have thought he’d be absolutely fine, with her choosing who she supported or not bothering at all. I mean he plays football with her (well kicks the ball round the garden with her). But I’ve never known him be weird about it.

I think I’ll just leave it and not reply. I wouldn’t take her out in a football shirt anyway, not the type of outfit I’d choose, but I’d sorted her clothes the other day and came across it so added it to her playing clothes.

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 06/05/2018 15:23

I wouldn't be letting anyone dictate what your child can and cannot wear.. it covered her from the sun.. it was serving a purpose.. he is being a Dick

Sadsnake · 06/05/2018 15:24

Gavin and Stacy episodes the Christmas one where gavin buys the baby a football kit in his team ,and Dave says no the baby supports Cardiff..or something,but yeah men are funny about teams

CandiedPeach · 06/05/2018 15:25

Ha! No not Sunderland and I don’t think so. They’re playing today because he mentioned he was going to watch it.

OP posts:
Flutist · 06/05/2018 15:25

Numpty. It's just a t-shirt and he's moaning about the colour. At two your DD doesn't know the difference - she isn't "supporting" anyone. He needs to get over himself.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 06/05/2018 15:27

I'm glad you've decided not to reply, I'd leave it definitely. Blokes can get a bit funny about "their team" and since you're not together any more, he might be feeling a bit like you're getting your Dad to "replace" him as the male figure in your DD's life. Obviously you're not, but it might feel a bit that way to him if he thinks you're encouraging your DD to support grandad's football team. He won't "get" that she's only 2 and couldn't give a flying fuck about it!

So glad my DH doesn't support any team particularly!
But one of my friend's DH does, and he got all his kids tiny shirts for his team - would also have got rather pissed off if she'd dressed them in a different team's shirts.

seventh · 06/05/2018 15:28

Fuck me ....men are arseholes.

Just do what he wants re the shirt. It's easier and not crucial to your DD.

However if it were another issue ....

IAmMatty · 06/05/2018 15:31

Seventh why should the OP do what he wants? Chuck out a perfectly good item of clothing because it's the wrong colour? Confused

PetulantPolecat · 06/05/2018 15:32

“I wouldn't be letting anyone dictate what your child can and cannot wear..“

He’s her parent and she is his child too.

AnnieAnoniMouser · 06/05/2018 15:32

‘She’s not yet 2. It’s a T- shirt that protects her from getting sunburnt. When she’s older SHE can choose which, if any, Football Team she supports. Stop being such a twat. Honestly, it’s not like you, hope you’re ok?! DD loved seeing you today, see you soon’

CandiedPeach · 06/05/2018 15:33

Obviously despite my dad and grandad being massive fans, I’ve not the foggiest regarding football!

I think now he’s broughg it up, that my dad did but it to tease ex (when we were together) but I don’t remember him being bothered by it then.

Maybe he’s just still tired and hungover from his holiday. It would be cruel to send a photo of her in the full kit, now though wouldn’t it? Coz I’ve got the shorts and socks too..

OP posts:
Guardsman18 · 06/05/2018 15:34

Just reply 'ok' and leave it

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 06/05/2018 15:36

Well he's being silly, but football does make people crazy. I'd probably humour him, if he's reasonable in all other respects.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 06/05/2018 15:38

Say OK today and tomorrow or day after ask him if he was being serous, because you couldn't tell and don't want to insult him over a shirt!

Sound weird, but there could be an excuse... like he was jet lagged out of his tiny mind Smile

seventh · 06/05/2018 15:39

Chuck out a perfectly good item of clothing because it's the wrong colour?

Not put the 'wrong' shirt on DD when Ex is around. That's what I meant. I must have missed the 'chuck it out' comment.

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