Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he can’t actually be serious?

172 replies

CandiedPeach · 06/05/2018 15:09

I’m separated from DD’s Dad, but we get on well. He’s been away and only got home last night early this morning. Wasn’t expecting to hear or see him this weekend, he’d says he see DD Tuesday last we spoke.
But anyway he text today to see if we were home and if he could call and see DD for a little bit. I said it was fine, just having a garden play day with the paddling pool out and stuff.
So he called around 11, DD rubs over excited and he says “what’s she wearing?” I think he’s meaning her hat she choose a Batman one at the shop, so I say she chose it.
But no, she had a football shirt on and it’s not his football team! I honestly didn’t know and actually thought he’d maybe bought it, it was a bit big so I thought it was quite a good cover up t shirt while she was in the water. But apparently it’s my dads football team and we agreed she wouldn’t support them! I’ve absolutely no recollection of that as a conversation and ffs she’s not even two, so who cares.

I thought he must be joking and laughed it off and got her another t shirt and said you can change her if you can’t look at it. But I said and meant it jokingly, we can usually joke with each other. He did change it, but stayed and played with her, seemingly fine. But then sent a message when he’d left saying, he really doesn’t want her wearing it again!

I’m not sure what to reply as I really don’t think this is a thing. He’s a big football fan but I’ve never known him be silly over it and him and my dad always got on, they’d joke over it, but nothing more.
I’m thinking he can’t actually be serious so might just send a jokey reply, but the tone of the message strikes me that he’s serious and I don’t want to cause problems over nothing.

OP posts:
Nodnol · 06/05/2018 18:39

It’s the same here in Australia with our footy. Our household supports one of two teams based in our city. I think I’d be less upset if one of our lot came home and said they were voting Conservative than if they said they were switching to the rival team.

We are planning a move to the UK soonish- DH wants to live in either Manchester or Ipswich. Those are his teams. They are not negotiable. 😂

Smeddum · 06/05/2018 18:42

We let our bairns decide if they wanted to get into football and if they did (they did) pick their own team.
As it is they picked Celtic like their Mum and Dad (yes, women can be into football too and no I don’t eye up the players) so it’s never been an issue, but honestly, unless they’d picked Rangers or Hearts I’d have gritted my teeth and still bought them the strip I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid.

Bramble71 · 06/05/2018 18:45

Must admit, if I'd been you and got that text saying he didn't want her to wear it again, I'd have told him to grow up. Some people have no priorities in life. She's 2 and it was protecting her from the sun!

GottaGetThisDone · 06/05/2018 18:48

Football is a really touchy subject for many people, the whole rivalry thing makes me laugh but DH has friends who cannot see any humour in Football at all quite sad really.
Isn't it usual that parents want their child to support the team they do - after all they must be the best thats why they support them surely?

Today is an emotional day for many (not all) Arsenal fans - managers last home match - thank heavens they won lol

GrandTheftWalrus · 06/05/2018 19:08

@smeddum if my dd picks Celtic she's getting disowned! Wink

Smeddum · 06/05/2018 19:25

@GrandTheftWalrus haha are you Rangers or Hearts? I could have seen their Dad or Uncle going crackers if any of our lot picked either of those to be fair.
Thankfully they didn’t so I never found out Grin DD is Kieran Tierney daft!

GrandTheftWalrus · 06/05/2018 19:28

I'm rangers and so is my dad. Funny thing is I actually work at Celtic park during the games lol

DragonMummy1418 · 06/05/2018 19:31

If it's important to him then just agree.

My DH really is like this about football.
I just asked him and he said it would bother him. 🤷‍♀️

I don't get it but it makes no difference to me.

Original poster
CandiedPeach · 06/05/2018 19:32

I did text him that he should be thanking me Mintychoc1, it obviously worked as a good luck charm.
He text back, that he knew I’d say that. But he’s sorry, he must have sounded like a dick and he should have known I wouldn’t do it on purpose. And he’s missed dd and not had the best week away away.
He must be a bit drunk because he’s getting a tad emotional now, so think I’ll leave the messages at that.

OP posts:
Smeddum · 06/05/2018 19:35

@GrandTheftWalrus I used to work there too! I worked at Ibrox too. Nobody else in my whole family is into football, apart from my brother who is a fairweather Motherwell fan 😂

bookmum08 · 06/05/2018 19:41

Men and their footy eh? Lets face it the only time they get to choose clothing for the kids it's gonna be a little mini football kit. My hubby was so excited to get a Man Utd babygro for our daughter. I think it's sort of sweet in a 'I really don't get the excitement of football' way!!

Smeddum · 06/05/2018 19:42

Why is it the only time men get to pick clothes?

Original poster
CandiedPeach · 06/05/2018 19:44

To be fair to ex, he picks all dd’s clothes for at his and he buys way more shoes for her than I do.

OP posts:
GrandTheftWalrus · 06/05/2018 19:52

@smeddum lol I've worked ibrox too. And loads of stadiums.

You didn't work for the company that screwed the Olympics did you?

Original poster
CandiedPeach · 07/05/2018 10:39

He collected DD this morning and he’s apologised, said he doesn’t really mind if she wears it to play in and he was just tired and grumpy, he’d missed DD and when he saw her in it he felt a bit pushed out. Or something along those lines.

I don’t think the single lad life is living up to his expectations! But that’s his problem.

So all good. I knew he wasn’t really that much of a idiot.

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 07/05/2018 10:42

That's good. Sounds like, despite him being your ex, he is a good man at heart.

I am really happy that he really was just jet lagged out of his tiny mind and not a Grade A Pillock Smile

Original poster
CandiedPeach · 07/05/2018 10:56

Ha, Curious. Well he is my ex for a reason so does have some pillock tendencies. But he’s generally a good ex and good daddy and dd adores him.
Not sure jet lag counts on a short flight, think it was more lack of sleep and over indulgence.

He has sent my dad a picture of her in a full Arsenal kit, this morning though!

OP posts:
Smeddum · 07/05/2018 11:25

@GrandTheftWalrus no I didn’t, it was a wee independent hospitality agency out of Bellshill I worked for. Mainly stadiums, but a few racecourses and stuff as well. Tynecastle was my least favourite stadium, it was filthy!

Smeddum · 07/05/2018 11:26

Ah glad it’s all worked out OP Grin he’s probably still buzzing from the result yesterday!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 07/05/2018 11:29

Smile I meant to put quotes around jet lagged - 'jet lagged' would have made more sense. Bless his over indulged self!

GrandTheftWalrus · 07/05/2018 11:33

@smeddum ah fair play. I work for them so was wondering if I knew you lol. I liked the old tynecastle mainly because I got a load of free pies and juice. Not been in the new one yet.

Original poster
CandiedPeach · 07/05/2018 11:56

I think he is Smeddum he seemed very happy this morning, despite looking atad hungover (he’s not driven with dd and looked capable of having her).

I thought it was a sarcastic ‘jet lagged’ Curious. I think going by his mates Snapchat’s (we share friends) he’s also a bit gutted he didn’t pull on holiday 😂. Which explains the drunken ‘I miss you’ messages and asking if he can come round last night.

I guess the girlfriend and kid weren’t so bad after all and being single isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

OP posts:
perfectstorm · 07/05/2018 17:57

Well, this is unusual. I sympathise with the demanding ex!

He doesn't live with his child, he's clearly really involved, sounds like he's a good dad and a good ex. Friendly, good relationship, loves his child, has a room and her own clothes at his, first thing he did when getting back from a holiday was want to Facetime with his toddler. That's lovely, and sadly, I don't think it's exactly the norm.

If he wants to feel that his little girl, whom he doesn't live with most of the time, supports his football team, and the mum has no team allegiances of her own... then that's reasonable, to me. Lots of dads whose kids live with them feel the same way. And to him, this may be something he wants to share with her as she grows up (do you live in the London area, OP? As in, may he want to take her to matches in years to come?)

perfectstorm · 07/05/2018 17:58

I guess the girlfriend and kid weren’t so bad after all and being single isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Ah. Having just reread your last post, I'm a tad less sympathetic (and hugely impressed by you, not least for the amicability!)

caringcarer · 07/05/2018 18:19

Suggest he buys dd a football shirt in team he supports. Then he can take her out wearing it. I would not put her on other shirt again as would want to keep his goodwill.