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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think he can’t actually be serious?

172 replies

CandiedPeach · 06/05/2018 15:09

I’m separated from DD’s Dad, but we get on well. He’s been away and only got home last night early this morning. Wasn’t expecting to hear or see him this weekend, he’d says he see DD Tuesday last we spoke.
But anyway he text today to see if we were home and if he could call and see DD for a little bit. I said it was fine, just having a garden play day with the paddling pool out and stuff.
So he called around 11, DD rubs over excited and he says “what’s she wearing?” I think he’s meaning her hat she choose a Batman one at the shop, so I say she chose it.
But no, she had a football shirt on and it’s not his football team! I honestly didn’t know and actually thought he’d maybe bought it, it was a bit big so I thought it was quite a good cover up t shirt while she was in the water. But apparently it’s my dads football team and we agreed she wouldn’t support them! I’ve absolutely no recollection of that as a conversation and ffs she’s not even two, so who cares.

I thought he must be joking and laughed it off and got her another t shirt and said you can change her if you can’t look at it. But I said and meant it jokingly, we can usually joke with each other. He did change it, but stayed and played with her, seemingly fine. But then sent a message when he’d left saying, he really doesn’t want her wearing it again!

I’m not sure what to reply as I really don’t think this is a thing. He’s a big football fan but I’ve never known him be silly over it and him and my dad always got on, they’d joke over it, but nothing more.
I’m thinking he can’t actually be serious so might just send a jokey reply, but the tone of the message strikes me that he’s serious and I don’t want to cause problems over nothing.

OP posts:
Missingstreetlife · 06/05/2018 15:40

Shorts and socks, oh my word

PlumsGalore · 06/05/2018 15:41

Sorry but I would have said when she's at your house you can dress her when she's at mine I choose.

Hate football, my DH is an arse about it too. Shame for him that our DD hates it as much as me and his precious son is a rugby union fan and not interested in football either.

Celticlassie · 06/05/2018 15:42

Is it a serious rival? Because I do know people (who are normally very lovely and reasonable) that would be bothered by their child wearing the football top of their rivals.

(You're not in the West of Scotland, by any chance? Wink)

Rafflesway · 06/05/2018 15:42

My guess is it's either Manchester and ex is a City fan - can just imagine his face if you put dd in a United shirt 😂 - or perhaps one of the London clubs - possibly Arsenal or Chelsea who are both playing today and have terrific rivalry between themselves and Spurs in particular. Same with Liverpool and Everton too!

I am a football fan but still think it's hilarious!

User12879923378 · 06/05/2018 15:43

I personally would find this ridiculous but not worth jeopardising a generally productive and amicable relationship for

BurningTheToast · 06/05/2018 15:45

But apparently it’s my dads football team and we agreed she wouldn’t support them

Surely by the time she's old enough to give a flying fig about watching football matches she'll choose who she wants to support? I find the tribalism around football faintly ridiculous to start with, but the idea of parents "agreeing" what team their infant will support is utterly bizarre.

Knittedfairies · 06/05/2018 15:45

A bit ridiculous! Surely it’s better to wear a ‘wrong’ shirt as a cover-up rather than risk sunburn.

PositivelyPERF · 06/05/2018 15:45

What the fuck is he going to do if she supports her grand dad’s team? Go NC? What a wanker. Tell him he’s free to dress her in whatever he wants when she’s at his, but while she’s with you he has no say.

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 06/05/2018 15:46

Aren't football shirts made of nylon and therefore not actually great protection in the sun?

Anythingforacatslife · 06/05/2018 15:49

Erm, it’s not just blokes who would have a problem with this. Rival football shirts would not be allowed in my house either, I don’t care what that makes me. It’s not a big deal unless you like football, and then it really is.

jasminajasminda · 06/05/2018 15:50

It’s as if you’d started raising her Hindu after agreeing that he could raise her Jewish!

jaseyraex · 06/05/2018 15:50

My auntie bought my DS a Celtic strip. It's never seen the light of day as neither me or DH like football (thank god!). He wore it for the obligatory "here's DS in the lovely outfit you bought him" picture and that was that. We saw her the other day and she went in a huff that he didn't have it on because they were playing that day. As if I even bloody knew that.

For the sake of keeping your relationship good, I think I'd probably ignore the text or say she'll only be wearing it for painting/paddling pool etc so she doesn't get any of her good clothes ruined and no one is going to see her in it except you. Might make him feel better if he thinks it's only for messy play purposes.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 06/05/2018 15:50

Threaten to let me adopt her. Then she’ll have to be a junior Millwall Lion like every other child in our family has had to be since they moved to Lewisham from Ireland in 1946. Grin That’ll learn him.......

CandiedPeach · 06/05/2018 15:56

Arsenal and Chelsea Rafflesway. My dad must know it’s a thing as he’s finally replied to my text with 😂🤣😂🤣.

Yes it’s the shiny material stuff TheMobile, but she was covered in sun cream too. She just kept getting in and out of the water and normal t shirts seemed to stick to her more so I’d tried that one, thinking it might not cling as much.

OP posts:
Whereismumhiding2 · 06/05/2018 15:57

"ExDP she was just wearing a random t-shirt in paddling pool to keep the sun off... We'll keep your team's shirt for best.. lol! Tbh I hadn't noticed but have heard your views, will try better next time!!"

Really, he's being a little dramatic over a footie shirt on a 2 y.o. in her back garden but as you have a great parental relationship otherwise, why not concede that it's extremely impt to him & easy to be agreeable on. It's not going to hurt you to (& DD can argue teams with her DF & GF when she's older!!)

There will be something you dislike or want ExDP to respect your wishes on about DD at some point. Better all around if you can take a stance of respecting each others views, even if you don't quite get it! As long as it goes both ways.. Flowers

CandiedPeach · 06/05/2018 15:57

Oh and my dad also said, send me a picture of her in it, I’ll have it as my cover pic on fb.
I’m not going to do that.

OP posts:
diddl · 06/05/2018 15:58

"But apparently it’s my dads football team and we agreed she wouldn’t support them"

Was that when you were still together (if it even happened?)

How about she decides for herself who she does & doesn't support, & he stops being a twat about what she wears when she's with you?

FFS-she was in the garden, nobody sawHmm

Whereismumhiding2 · 06/05/2018 16:01

Lol!! I see your dad gets it!!
He probably bought it for her!! GrinGrin

"Well played GF, well played Sir!!"
But sooooo naughty...!!

CandiedPeach · 06/05/2018 16:02

I won’t put it on her though, if it bothers him. I honestly forget which of them supports which, that’s how much attention I’ve paid to each of them and their football.

OP posts:
GreenItWas · 06/05/2018 16:04

He doesn't get to dictate what she wears in your garden. Crazy! No wonder he's an ex.

TheFirstMrsOsmond · 06/05/2018 16:11

The bit I love about this story OP is that you did not realise the football shirt was your Dad's team rather than his! I would be just the same Grin

TalkFastThinkSlow · 06/05/2018 16:11

Oh and my dad also said, send me a picture of her in it, I’ll have it as my cover pic on fb.
I’m not going to do that.

Please do it, your ex is a twat lol

CandiedPeach · 06/05/2018 16:12

Yep, my dad thinks it’s pretty hilarious Whereismum. He says if they lose tonight he’s going to text him and say it must be because dd’s now a Chelsea supporter.

OP posts:
diddl · 06/05/2018 16:13

"Oh and my dad also said, send me a picture of her in it, I’ll have it as my cover pic on fb.
I’m not going to do that."

Why not?

Are you frightened of your ex or worried that he would ruin the good relationship that you have?

CandiedPeach · 06/05/2018 16:16

My mum didn’t have a clue either TheFirstMrsOsmond. I hope dd shows no interest in bloody football!

Not scared of him, but we get on and if it really bothers him I won’t do something to wind him up. Would have if we were still together, but that’s different.
As someone said, hopefully he’d be as respectful if something bothers me.

OP posts:
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