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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why people 'don't drive'

974 replies

ZX81user · 06/05/2018 13:07

..medical conditions aside.It is such a useful life skill.
I think it is part of a parent's responsibility to get their teen througj their test.

OP posts:

VladPutin · 07/05/2018 14:58

How do you all cope with kids sport once they progress beyond the local area? I couldn’t possibly get mine to training by local transport. What do you say? “Oh sorry. You can’t do it ? “

Slanetylor · 07/05/2018 14:59

So you can drive. You’ll always have that freedom to rent a car.
Cars ARE hideously expensive and I really don’t see why someone in a big city needs one. When you’ve to pay for parking if you want to run in for milk! But being ABLE to drive on holiday or if travelling for a wedding seems very practical.

Ted27 · 07/05/2018 15:11

vlad - how many children do you think progress to sport beyond the local area?

Its not something I have to 'cope' with. My son is 14. He has a wide range of interests, he's never been denied anything access to anything or told he can't do something because I can't drive. I am nothing if not resourceful - there is always a way round things.

BrashCandicoot · 07/05/2018 15:13

What do you say? “Oh sorry. You can’t do it ?”

You mean much like parents who work at the weekends meaning the children spend the time with grandparents/or have to work around shift patterns kind of have to tell their children? It’s really not a big deal.

BitchQueen90 · 07/05/2018 15:14

I don't understand why people seem to think everyone else's life is the same as theirs. Not everyone wants to drive to holidays, not everyone has kids who do sport, not everyone has a super long commute or lives far away from their families. I don't have any of those.

JoeElliotsMullet · 07/05/2018 15:15

@slanetylor
aye, i do worry about that, but she's got public transport available.
if my mum dies first there's no-one else to fetch his coffee, cook his meals etc...

JacquesHammer · 07/05/2018 15:19

How do you all cope with kids sport once they progress beyond the local area? I couldn’t possibly get mine to training by local transport. What do you say? “Oh sorry. You can’t do it ?

Not everyone has kids....my bf doesn’t. There’s just him and a dog, so he pretty much doesn’t need to worry about sports fixtures. The dog doesn’t go for it

OhPuddleducks · 07/05/2018 15:22

Because I am safer if i don’t drive and everyone else is safer if I don’t too. I don’t have the skill set.

corythatwas · 07/05/2018 15:22

VladPutin, that's what all parents say about lots of things. That's what I would have had to say to mine about the fact that they can't go skiing after school like their cousins in Sweden do.

It's what parents with multiple children say when activities clash.

It's what parents say when they can't get home from work early enough and the childminder can't take them.

It's what most people on low wages spend a lot of time saying to their children.

Older children can ride a bike or walk: ds thinks nothing of walking for an hour across town to an activity or to meet up with friends; there isn't a part of our city he hasn't explored on foot.

jarhead123 · 07/05/2018 15:24

I agree with you OP.

I wonder how people get through life without driving

EmpressOfSpartacus · 07/05/2018 15:34

I wonder how people get through life without driving.

Very nicely thanks. I didn't want to learn so I didn't.

I live in London with my local town centre 15 mins walk or a short bus ride away, I get the tube to work (and I get a lot of reading done on public transport) and a couple of days a week I'll catch the tube halfway and run the rest through parks & past rivers.

If I can't get somewhere by public transport I get a taxi. And if someone offers me a lift somewhere and I want to take them up on it, I'll repay them with petrol money & lunch / coffee.

Simple. How do you get through your life?

JacquesHammer · 07/05/2018 15:43

I wonder how people get through life without driving

Did you RTFT? There’s pretty much 24 pages of examples

Fiddlydoodlekins · 07/05/2018 15:47

Never met a non driver yet who doesn't hint for a lift if they think you're going at the same time / same way. You say you don't want to drive but you sure like riding in cars!

Fiddlydoodlekins · 07/05/2018 15:49

And once you give a non driver a lift once you've opened the floodgates and they're forever loitering, waiting to drop the question. So annoying, my works full of them.

corythatwas · 07/05/2018 15:50

Fiddlydoodlekins, if the "you" addressed here are the non-drivers, then a fair few of them have specifically stated that they do not like going in cars, for various reasons, including migraines, car sickness, etc.

Personally, I find drivers can be very persistent about offering lifts even when I explain that I have already bought my ticket and am absolutely fine: sometimes it gets hard to get out of without being rude ("no, I really would like to be allowed to read quietly on the train instead of talking to you" sounds a bit harsh, after all).

MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2018 15:53

There are drivers that want lifts went their bar breaks down or their drinking because they aren’t confident using public transport or can’t be arsed etc too.

That’s just people. A non driver is not a set community with ways of doing things.

EmpressOfSpartacus · 07/05/2018 15:53

Never met a non driver yet who doesn't hint for a lift if they think you're going at the same time / same way. You say you don't want to drive but you sure like riding in cars!

Hello, Fiddly, I'm a non-driver who would rather be on a train or bus with a good book, or exercising my legs, than making polite conversation in your car.

bananafish81 · 07/05/2018 15:54

Never met a non driver yet who doesn't hint for a lift if they think you're going at the same time / same way. You say you don't want to drive but you sure like riding in cars!

Why? I rarely get in a car unless it's a taxi / uber. You appear to have a CF issue, not a non driver issue

joystir59 · 07/05/2018 15:55

I learnt in my forties, only had a car for six months and so very little driving experience . I'm a nervous driver and so don't drive. It's better for everyone if I don't.

bananafish81 · 07/05/2018 15:56

And once you give a non driver a lift once you've opened the floodgates and they're forever loitering, waiting to drop the question. So annoying, my works full of them.

Again, sounds like you just work with CFs

JacquesHammer · 07/05/2018 15:57

@Fiddly your posts suggest you have CF issues and not non-driver issues

bananafish81 · 07/05/2018 15:57

I wonder how people get through life without driving.

I wonder why people would post a question like this when there are hundreds of answers to their question right there in front of them

Fiddlydoodlekins · 07/05/2018 15:59

Maybe people who live in cities are different and have really chosen not to drive for convenience but there's nothing convenient in living in a small suburban town where buses only come every half hr or so and won't get you directly to a lot of places. I just see non drivers round here as constantly ponsing and chancing. The way they lurk round you, waiting for the right moment to ask. So obvious. Just frigid save up and get some balls like we all had to!

MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2018 16:03

Fiddlydoodlekins again not everyone is in your situation...

Aridane · 07/05/2018 16:04

Never met a non driver yet who doesn't hint for a lift if they think you're going at the same time / same way. You say you don't want to drive but you sure like riding in cars!

God, don’t you just hate it when drivers try and force lifts on you when you would rather take the train, read a magazine and have a snack (and it’s quicker in the train)!

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