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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why people 'don't drive'

974 replies

ZX81user · 06/05/2018 13:07

..medical conditions aside.It is such a useful life skill.
I think it is part of a parent's responsibility to get their teen througj their test.

OP posts:
noeffingidea · 06/05/2018 13:20

Both my sons have licences, the eldest drive every day, the youngest hasn't driven since the day he passed his test, because he doesn't want the expense of buying and running a car. If he ever needs to drive he will take a couple of refresher lessons and get a car.

treeofhearts · 06/05/2018 13:22

Because they can't afford it
Because they don't have good enough eyesight
Because it stresses them out and they don't like it
Because they have shit coordination/concentration and can't do it
Because they live in central London and don't need to
Because they care about the environmental impact of running a car
Because they just don't fucking want to

In what way does this decision impact on your life? Like we really need more cars on the road. I say this as a driver btw.

AmazingPostVoices · 06/05/2018 13:22

The people I know who don’t drive fall into four categories:

1)Medical/sight issues prevent them

2)They can’t afford to learn or can’t afford to run a car.

3)They are ideologically opposed to cars due to environmental impact.

4)They don’t consider themselves emotionally stable enough to drive.

I’m pretty sure that with the possible exception of 3, none of those are anyone else’s business.

heavenlypink · 06/05/2018 13:23

Here we go again ..... Bashing people who don't drive

I can't afford the lessons, to buy a car, the maintenance costs, tax and insurance.

@ZX81user My son will never learn to drive owing to epilepsy so no teenage rite of passage for him

I never take the piss with regard to lifts @CaptainCabinets I never ask Only accept if offered and that person is not going out of their way for me

Bus services are reasonably good and if needs be I would get a taxi.

Unescorted · 06/05/2018 13:24

Because I can do my work on a train. It is quicker on a train. Beyond that it is more environmentally friendly, more sociable, safer and less stressful. Driving is an unpleasant waste of time.

I can drive but try to keep it to a minimum.

Weezol · 06/05/2018 13:24

I think treeofhearts has this one covered.

NotACleverName · 06/05/2018 13:25

Because I don't bloody well want to. I had over a year of lessons, felt I wasn't progressing and it just stressed me out. There's a decent bus/train/Metrolink service where I live so I don't need to drive.

AllyMcBeagle · 06/05/2018 13:26

I technically passed my test first time but really shouldn't have. The driver instructor missed me making some pretty fundamental errors. I have pretty bad dyspraxia and nearly got into a few accidents when learning. My parents made me learn. I literally haven't driven since the test.

So I would probably say to people I 'don't' rather than 'can't' drive. But I have taken myself off the road for the safety of myself and everyone else so I think you should be glad!

My husband can drive but hasn't for years because we live in a good city with good public transport. Not having a car is occasionally inconvenient but saves us money. We might get one in a few years as we might need it with a child, but so far it's been fine.

1BubblebathAddict · 06/05/2018 13:26

I choose not to drive. I absolutely do not want to. I have no need to. I'm also put off by the idiots who think they're the only ones on the road. Besides walking keeps me much fitter than sitting behind a wheel. Sure driving has it's advantages but again I don't feel that it's a must for me as I can still get about to places I need to. Oh and I don't ask anyone who drives for a lift anywhere, I'm happy using my little legs.

gemdrop84 · 06/05/2018 13:27

I've just applied for my provisional, I'm 34 tomorrow. My parents couldn't afford anything that extravagant, they could just about afford to pay the bills. I've not had the money or the time to be honest.
I'm lucky to live in an area with good public transport. We live less than 15 minutes from school and 20 mins from train station with bus stops in between. I'm not convinced driving is for me but I'll give it a go whilst I have the opportunity.

Kursk · 06/05/2018 13:27

I drive, I have to because I hate city life and refuse to live in suburban hell. However there are city people out there who probably don’t need to drive.

I do think it’s a life skill, it did take me 4 attempts to pass the test, but I think that because the government doesn’t want people to drive. I passed my US test first time.

Living remotely like we do driving is nessasary, DH’s “truck beer” isn’t though!

Ted27 · 06/05/2018 13:28

when I was 17 my parents couldn't afford it. When I was a student I couldn't afford it. When I bought my first house ( in the days of 18% interest rates) I couldnt afford it. I am now a single parent, if I could drive I could'nt afford a car.

I live in a city on the main bus routes. I am 10 minutes walk from the mainline railway station. My office is 10 minutes walk.

This is not lucky. It was planned with non driving in mind.

I take my son all over the UK on trains. With a railcard its very cheap. Sometimes I get a taxi for local journeys. I walk - I have glutes of steel.

Occasionally we are offered lifts. Sometimes I accept, sometimes I don't. I never ask.
For those people who do offer lifts I am generous in other ways in return.
Not sure why other people have to get so wound up over it.

The80sweregreat · 06/05/2018 13:29

I'm glad i can drive as i would never get to care for elderly dad without it as its 2 hours + on public transport ( trains are not running some weekends either) but i hate driving . its a good life skill to have but expensive running a car and just a shame that public transport isnt better where i live. i know i would have struggled with the theory test if that had been around in 84 when i eventually passed as that seems to be people's stumbling block that are a bit older.

kaytee87 · 06/05/2018 13:29

It can cost around £1k to learn to drive these days. Lots of people simply don't have the money.
Others don't want or need to.

thetriangleisarealinstrument · 06/05/2018 13:29

oh not this again!!
Not everyones lives pan out in the exact same way yours has...

Some people grow up in cities and to own a car would be superfluous. London for example: its probably going to cause you more hassle to run and keep a car than it is not to, plus your journey times around london may actually be cheaper and faster on public transport, plus if your trying to afford rents or buying in central london running something that is not essential is not going to be a priority. So if you grew up in London or have lived and worked there for a long time it is likely you wouldnt learn to drive as its a luxury not something you actually need.

Some peoples lives just pan out in a way which means they miss the boat on it. For example I left home at 16 and was supporting myself with no contact from family.... paying to learn to drive and then own a car was very far down on my list of priorities... fast forward to now: my husband drives and runs a car and we have two children... we cant really afford nor is it actually useful for me to learn as we only have one car anyway which my husband uses all day for his work.

Whizbang · 06/05/2018 13:29

Question for those above who say they choose not to, or ‘don’t bloody well want to’...how often do you request lifts as favours from others?

RoseWhiteTips · 06/05/2018 13:29

Maybe they care about the planet?

expatinscotland · 06/05/2018 13:30

Not this ol' chestnut again. You really wonder? No, you don't unless you're as thick as two planks. It's very expensive, a lot of people can't afford to run a car at all much less for a teen, some teens have SN, some people live in a places where it's a PITA to drive. There, sorted.

Why not trot on over to the 'shocked' at kids who don't cycle thread. That should give you some more fodder for to fuel narrow-mindedness.

Aragog · 06/05/2018 13:30

Cost will be the main reason.
Cost of lessons
Cost of test
Cost of a car
Cost of insurance and tax
Cost of fuel
Cost of maintaining a car

Throwaway4misc · 06/05/2018 13:31

I think it is part of a parent's responsibility to get their teen througj their test.

I also think it's a parents responsibility as a DF to not run off with another woman while one of your two children is a few weeks old.

It was not part of a parent's responsibility to struggle through college and university to retrain while being a lone parent on very little money!

Ahh but don't worry I'll let my DM know that she failed as a parent because a stranger on the Internet said so.

Guess what I'm now a parent and can't afford lessons, car, insurance or maintenance of a vehicle. Sorry that us poor people ruin your day with issues you can't possibly comprehend!

MrsDrSpencerReid · 06/05/2018 13:31

I was in a car accident when I was little, the car flipped and I had to be pulled out the window by a fireman. My baby brother had a piece of glass from the windshield in his forehead (he’s fine).

I tried when I was old enough, but my anxiety was through the roof. Still is.

As a parent now, that’s not the sort of person I want on the roads!

ScreamingValenta · 06/05/2018 13:32

Because driving frightens the life out of me. @Whizbang - I have never requested a lift from anyone in my life.

leghoul · 06/05/2018 13:33

I don't need to in London
I didn't get lessons paid for etc as a teenager
I once worked with fatal and catastrophic accidents and think I'd be a nervous driver
If I really had to learn, i.e. moving to back end of nowhere, I would do so reluctantly. But until then I resist.

FostersHomeForImaginaryFriends · 06/05/2018 13:33

Lived in London my whole life. Don't need to.

Brokenbiscuit · 06/05/2018 13:33

I drive less and less these days tbh. It is useful to have the option but much healthier and more environmentally friendly to walk and/or use public transport.

I wouldn't judge anyone for not feeling that they need to drive, as long as they don't always expect others to give them lifts all the time!