I think my friend should pay, she thinks we should split it?

[Welshgal1]

Driving a friend 4 hours away for an operation (cosmetic) and will use 2 full tanks of fuel in my car, cost of a hotel, food while I'm there and I'm using a days annual leave.
She wants to split all costs down the middle, whereas I think I'm using my holiday entitlement and 2 days of my time (which I am more than happy to give up) but don't think I should be paying for fuel, or for the hotel? I've said I'll pay for all my own food.
Her logic is we're both going so why should only she pay, she's already paying lots for surgery.
My logic is I wouldn't be going if it wasn't to do her a favour so don't see it fair to split costs.
Whats the right thing to do here? Don't want to be mean but trying to be fair...

How about this for a title for a new thread (because we need a new thread to follow this madness )

"Titzilla: Deal or No Deal? "

I'm sure others will come up with even better suggestions

Enjoy the break OP 😉
The neeeeeeck on her.

She is silly to cancel the surgery . She should pay someone to go with her

OP this is horrible for you

Could your mutual friend please recommend a very very good £200/per hour solicitor who doesn’t do the “free half hour”? So she can pay £200 to hear what an idiot she is?

Oh that would be BEAUTIFUL, as wasn’t it around £200 that she’s thrown a strop over in the first place 👌

(Just realised that was probably your point.😳)

So it’s supposed to be Tuesday coming?

So she’s still in theory got time to find an alternative?

So she hasn’t lost the money yet?

I still can’t fathom how none of this was part of her original budget and if she threatened to go on public transport she would still be saving money by paying for the two of you and petrol, assuming you share a room.

No way has she cancelled! Nor has she seen a solicitor.

She just full of hot air.

Op, this can't be the first time she's said something way off the mark? She sounds more practised at it than that. I bet if you look back since you first knew her you will see the signs now; hindsight and all that.

She's just whipping herself into a frenzy and probably fuelled by her FB sympathy voters who either are just like her, or don't know what's she's really like..... YET!

Oh and, if she cancels because nobody else wants to get caught up in her chaos then she still has 13k and can pay it back in a one-er.

Or is it that she's already paid up front and it's non-cancellable and non-refundable?

Which, by the way, probably isn't even 13k anyway - if the rest of what she says (aka confabulated nonsense) is anything to go by!

I think it's too late to cancel jolly.

Which is why she should have offered to pay for petrol etc.

Choices and consequences etc.

Maybe she could earn some extra cash negotiating Brexit

OP, if you have time (while waiting for your lovely minibreak) and want to distract yourself with tales of even worse deranged CFery you could try this story. 'Cathy' is an apocalyptically vile human being - and, to be fair, anyone likely to be upset by grossness ('Cathy', along with all her other unpleasant qualities, is a fucking skanky mare) - or some frankly nasty and unsettling stuff in the later episodes - should perhaps avoid. But what it does show is how many people do get sucked in by manipulative, abusive, selfish, dangerous individuals and how long it can take to break free.

In a way, Titzilla's done you a bit of a favour by showing her true colours so clearly - you can now walk away and laugh at any reports of her antics in future.

I think if she had been upfront about the fact the OP wasn't just being asked for a lift but to chaperone for the surgery, this might all have gone down differently.

If she had said to the OP "will you chaperone me for surgery? Its going to cost 13K which won't be refundable if you pull out last minute, so don't say yes unless you are certain you can do it" then she might actually have a cats chance in hell for suing the OP.

What she actually did was ask for a lift as she felt safer than on public transport, then act like she was doing the OP a favour by involving her in her surgery experience, to the point the OP pulled out.

There is no way that flies in court surely?

Oh my good god she is absolutely mad as a bag of cheese!

"I've had legal advice" - at almost midnight?!?

"My lawyers"?!

Ridiculous. And blatantly, transparently ridiculous.

As an aside, there must be people willing to do this surgery chaperone business for a fee. There must be lots of this that crops up for people who can’t find a chaperone/have pissed off everyone they know/too cheap to pay for a hotel for friend

Mad as a sack of sparrows.

I actually feel slightly sorry for her; she's delusional.

Apparently a comment appeared and disappear within 5 seconds when someone commented saying "was this your boob job hun?"
That made me

Enjoy your trip, OP, and when you get back tell us where you've been
and what a nice time you've had!

This is hilarious, what a loon !

What a nasty person she is. I’d be amazed if she had even one friend with that attitude.
You are well rid, OP. She has no grounds to sue you. She’s responsible for her own hubris here. If she’d valued your kind offer, and not expected you to pay on top of that, she wouldn’t be in this situation. Some people just cannot take responsibility for their own actions. What a narcissist!
No solicitor would touch any claim as there’s no contract here.
Enjoy your break with your OH! What a great guy!

Anybody who wished infertility on anybody else deserves all the shit that life could ever throw upon them.

The infertility comment alone makes her deserve £13k debt with nothing to show for it. Hope you have a fabulous trip, how exciting!

P.s Please make a new thread and keep us posted

Totally agree with @PieAndPumpkins - she deserves to miss it after that.

If someone wants a boob job that's fine but what they have to do is pay for it. That means all the associated costs too. If a kind friend offers to help with transport then you insist on paying their fuel and hotel then send them a huge bunch of flowers for giving up their time. You don't throw a hissy fit, slate them on Facebook and wish infertility on them fgs. She has a lot of growing up to do.

@ReanimatedSGB very interesting read!

I agree with keeping screenshots of everything, you never know when you may need them, so just in case.

"If she had said to theOP"will you chaperone me for surgery? Its going to cost 13K which won't be refundable if you pull out last minute, so don't say yes unless you are certain you can do it" then she might actually have a cats chance in hell for suing the OP."

No she still wouldn't. I very much doubt anyone could argue with a straight face that there was consideration or intention to create legal relations - OP is just doing a favour.

Not to mention there are many many ways that the other woman could mitigate her loss e.g. by taking the train.

Imagine if people actually could sue you because you weren't able to do a favour for them? I.e. I offered to help my friend move and she didn't turn up so I'm charging her for the cost of the removal men I hired. That would be utter madness

Out of interest, one or more people have asked the OP to make a new thread for updates. Can I ask why? I thought AIBU stays here forever

Also she said she could go on public transport. She said that was an option.