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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I think my friend should pay, she thinks we should split it?

999 replies

Welshgal1 · 05/05/2018 12:11

Driving a friend 4 hours away for an operation (cosmetic) and will use 2 full tanks of fuel in my car, cost of a hotel, food while I'm there and I'm using a days annual leave.
She wants to split all costs down the middle, whereas I think I'm using my holiday entitlement and 2 days of my time (which I am more than happy to give up) but don't think I should be paying for fuel, or for the hotel? I've said I'll pay for all my own food.
Her logic is we're both going so why should only she pay, she's already paying lots for surgery.
My logic is I wouldn't be going if it wasn't to do her a favour so don't see it fair to split costs.
Whats the right thing to do here? Don't want to be mean but trying to be fair...

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
dipsticky · 07/05/2018 23:36

Unbelievable! What happened in the end OP?

tumpymummy · 08/05/2018 00:17

Placemarking!

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 08/05/2018 06:57

wow I replied to this:
“Also, driving in London during the week can easily cost £50 per day (£20 congestion charge plus parking ).”

It was about daily cost of driving in London.

Welshgal1 · 08/05/2018 09:57

Well the truth all came out about what she really thinks about me. She has said she'll pay all expenses then after that we can cease contact, says she has nobody else to take her and can't get public transport so just do the favour and leave it there.

Ridiculous awful human

OP posts:
TomRavenscroft · 08/05/2018 10:02

So are you going?

Amaried · 08/05/2018 10:08

Please tell me you told her where to go. Why does she think you would drive her to London after that!!

Gromance02 · 08/05/2018 10:08

That would be the nail in the coffin for me. She has basically told you that you are not a friend and she was only using you as a lift for the day. Tell her to fuck off.

SubtitlesOn · 08/05/2018 10:11

So she agrees that she as horrible to you and so she just wants to you to be her skivvy one last time then? AngryAngryAngry

All she needs to do is pay the money to the private hospital to stay there for extra days/nights, be that a week or two weeks ---- she can pay the nursing staff to be nice to her and care for her

So glad you have found out what she really is like before you went thru all this

Enjoy baby dancing with your DH/DP and good luck with TTC SmileSmileSmile

Returnofthesmileybar · 08/05/2018 10:11

Nah tell her you are not going and to have a long hard think about why she has nobody else to ask

ArtBrut · 08/05/2018 10:11

OP. does she have some kind of intellectual disability? Because she doesn't seem to have a theory of mind -- she seems incapable of understanding that, fundamentally, nobody benefits from this trip except for her, therefore it is her issue to sort out.

And that nobody, however generous, is going to do a huge favour that involves taking annual leave, driving in London and spending a couple of days alone in a city you don't like, then playing nurse to someone after surgery, on the understanding that the friendship will then cease.

ArtBrut · 08/05/2018 10:12

Show her this?

I think my friend should pay, she thinks we should split it?
woollyheart · 08/05/2018 10:13

Awful behaviour! She will permit you to do her a really big favour and then she’s happy to just drop you! Hasn’t she put two and two together and worked out why she had nobody else willing to help her?

MumofBoysx2 · 08/05/2018 10:14

She's a cheeky moo for not suggesting a split

LexieLulu · 08/05/2018 10:16

So she's expecting you to be her TAXI hen never speak again?

Send her a taxi tank number an block that CF

TomRavenscroft · 08/05/2018 10:19

It's interesting that she has no one else she could ask. Has she basically pissed off everyone she's ever known?

Morphene · 08/05/2018 10:21

wow...that is off the chart.

She still doesn't really understand that the time off and effort you are putting has value does she?

Twofigsnotgiven · 08/05/2018 10:22

You are only travelling and staying overnight to do her a favour. Otherwise you would not be going full stop. Ergo, she should pay for everything.
In saying you can still take her but then dissolve the friendship afterwards tells you everything you need to know about how little she values you. You are there for her benefit only. Don’t take her, cut her off now. The friendship is over, why add an awkward journey and overnighter into the mix. Use your day off for doing something you want to do instead.
You can see why she has nobody else to take her. Grade A CF. Ain’t no money going to fix her ugliness inside.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 08/05/2018 10:31

Well that's going to be a fun two days!

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 08/05/2018 10:31

What return said. She needs a good long think about why no one else is willing to skivvy help her.

bonnyshide · 08/05/2018 10:37

Well the truth all came out about what she really thinks about me. She has said she'll pay all expenses then after that we can cease contact, says she has nobody else to take her and can't get public transport so just do the favour and leave it there

Haha...that'll be a no then. How about you don't do the favour and leave it there.

There is a reason why she doesn't have anyone to take her, everyone is sick of he taking advantage and walked out of her life a long time ago.

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 08/05/2018 10:38

The other option is she can cancel the non-essential, unnecessary, non-life-saving, £13K debt incurring vanity surgery.

MrsMozart · 08/05/2018 10:41

Time to step away.

missbonita · 08/05/2018 10:42

So now she's saying that she dislikes you, will not be continuing a friendship with you but you should help her anyway? She's insane.

coconutpie · 08/05/2018 10:46

She's insane. Do not agree to this. Tell her no thanks, you'll cease contact now and save your annual leave and money for something more worthy.

coconutpie · 08/05/2018 10:47

Do not feel guilty about this - this is non-essential surgery and she has treated you like shit. If she's so stuck for cash then she can go and cancel her non-essential £13,000 worth of surgery.

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