I think my friend should pay, she thinks we should split it?

[Welshgal1]

Driving a friend 4 hours away for an operation (cosmetic) and will use 2 full tanks of fuel in my car, cost of a hotel, food while I'm there and I'm using a days annual leave.
She wants to split all costs down the middle, whereas I think I'm using my holiday entitlement and 2 days of my time (which I am more than happy to give up) but don't think I should be paying for fuel, or for the hotel? I've said I'll pay for all my own food.
Her logic is we're both going so why should only she pay, she's already paying lots for surgery.
My logic is I wouldn't be going if it wasn't to do her a favour so don't see it fair to split costs.
Whats the right thing to do here? Don't want to be mean but trying to be fair...

I’d text back, pointing out how absurd it is. ‘So you don’t want to be friends with me but you expect me to help you? Thanks. No wonder you have no one else to ask.’ Has she no self-awareness at all?!!

so just do the favour and leave it there. - She doesn't really get the idea of a 'favour', does she?

Or 'friendship', really. Gotta feel sorry for her.

Wow. Just text back that your plans have changed and you will no longer be able to accompany her. Wish her luck for the future! ( it is unlikely being so self absorbed is going to be solved by plastic surgery or win new friends)

Tell her to keep the money and spend it on some other mug to take her and that you prefer to "cease" contact now.

Then block/delete and as you were....

She sounds like a nightmare, you're well rid. She actually reminds me on on ex friend of mine. We lent her money to pay off her definition on her mortgage. She was apparently going to sell her property and then we would get our money back. But it turned out that her debts exceeded the value of the 2 properties she owned, so of course we never got our money back. We sort of stayed in touch for a while, or at least she sent us Christmas cards with newsletters describing holidays abroad. Very galling, my DH would always wonder sarcastically whether there was a cheque enclosed??

Some people really are CFs. They don't just exist on Mumsnet sadly.

says she has nobody else to take her
Really? With such a charming personality, I can't think why she hasn't got people falling all over themselves to take her.

Please say you aren't going to be sucked into her garbage and take her?!

Wow, hell no, I could not do that type of favour for somebody who dislikes you so much, noway!

It is still sacrificing your day off and being around somebody like that!

Well the truth all came out about what she really thinks about me. She has said she'll pay all expenses then after that we can cease contact, says she has nobody else to take her and can't get public transport so just do the favour and leave it there

JOG THE FUCK ON would be my less than tactful response.

Can’t get anyone else to take her? No fucking wonder with an attitude like that!

What the actual?? Is she crazy?? Why would she think anyone would want to help her out in those circumstances?!

Ha ha ha - she's taking the piss right? Hope you told her to do one OP and you won't be doing her any favour but will happily cease contact?

Please tell me you’re not taking her! No wonder she has no one else to take her with that attitude but it’s not your problem so leave her to it

That'll be a big fat no then.

I would reply “sorry but I just don’t want to do it now. You’ve made your feelings clear and so have I. I don’t see why I should use up two days AL and sit in a car for so long with someone who wanted to abuse my generosity.”

Cheeky fucker! Please don't say you are actually going to do this?!

Hope you told her to get tae fuck.

She wants you to do her a massive favour and then cut all contact with you so she doesn't have to do any kind of a favour in return
She's just trying it on she clearly had the money to pay for it things even though she insisted that she couldn't afford it and you just had to go halves with her
she has a backup plan if you don't do this
really don't insult yourself by pandering to her
Don't let her walk all over you

she has nobody else to take her

I wonder why, she sounds like such a lovely friend..

I think she sees herself as some sort of Wheeler Dealer streetwise person who ducks and dives and survives by the seat of her pants blagging favours from people

She seems to think she's doing you a favour? What a horrible person. She'll always be ugly no matter how much plastic surgery she has.

Sadly for her she's too thick to pull it off 🤣😂😄

How about 'No. I do favours for friends. You are not a friend and I will do no favours.'

I asked a friend, a very good friend, to drive me to Gatwick and pick me up again after a holiday. I paid for all the petrol, dinner after we got there, parking while we were having dinner at the airport, and for a hotel room nearby for the pickup day as it was an early pickup. It was worth it to me to not have to struggle with my suitcase on either two coaches or two trains. Also it was nice to be met by a friend! My friend loved driving long distances but it never occurred to me to get him to pay for my favour!

Please please do not take her! She will not learn until someone has the strength to say a flat out NO!!

She sounds unhinged and very unsuitable for cosmetic surgeries. She still won’t be happy and she still won’t have any friends.

You will be doing her a favour by pulling out.

The cheeky mare!! Hope you told her where to go????