I think my friend should pay, she thinks we should split it?

[Welshgal1]

Driving a friend 4 hours away for an operation (cosmetic) and will use 2 full tanks of fuel in my car, cost of a hotel, food while I'm there and I'm using a days annual leave.
She wants to split all costs down the middle, whereas I think I'm using my holiday entitlement and 2 days of my time (which I am more than happy to give up) but don't think I should be paying for fuel, or for the hotel? I've said I'll pay for all my own food.
Her logic is we're both going so why should only she pay, she's already paying lots for surgery.
My logic is I wouldn't be going if it wasn't to do her a favour so don't see it fair to split costs.
Whats the right thing to do here? Don't want to be mean but trying to be fair...

I'd have replied this.

I don't think I'm better than your or that either of our life choices are better or worse than the other I just don't see why it should cost me for you to have an operation.

My contribution is a day of my holiday entitlement. my time and support plus a lift there and back. Is that not enough?

I agree with the neutral sounding confirmation that you’re no longer available. Then wish her well.

Cheeky cow!

In that case OP, definitely tell her to stay in London for longer and get train back. I doubt she’d be fit enough to handle the drive back the day after surgery

She wants you to take her she should pay. You have better things to do with your time and money

She'll just have to stay in a hotel till she can do the journey home alone

She should have paid for your stay etc, I can only think your offer confused her but even then she should have checked. Let m guess, she pulled out the violins to get you to offer lifts?

Why do you want her as your friend OP?

I’d wash my hands of this and of her.
No further contact.

id just text back - "You are massively taking the piss. You do realise this?"

I would never expect a friend to take time off work to help me after an elective bloody surgery, let alone ask them to pay for themselves while doing so.

In fact, years ago I had to have a very painful and medically necessary surgery almost four hours from home - I stayed in a hotel rather than be a pain to friends who lived relatively nearby, and got the train home the next day. It was awful but I survived. The cheeky cow doesn’t deserve your help.

Stop engaging with her! She has been walking all of you -it seems - for a long time. Good for you for finally standing up to her!! Get your priorities straight and stay home and try for your baby, don’t waste time with this CF a second longer.

The hospital won’t discharge her if she’s in any danger. And if she has to pay for 1 extra night in hospital, so be it.

Stay strong and block this person. She is no friend of yours!!

CF

I really hope you don’t chauffeur her now, regardless of what she says. She sounds very selfish and entitled. Her texts to you were so rude! I would not engage in any further conversation, other than to say .... I think it’s best you find someone else to drive you‘.

What did she reply to your firm message?

Cheeeeeeeeky fucking cunt!!

I don't understand people like this who think like this, but they do only get away with outrageous behaviour because other people let them. So don't take her!

A tit lift at 25????

Wait til she’s twice that age and sees what gravity can really do to them........

Call the clinic, cancel her nose and tits, and book her in for having a dick sewn on instead.

what could the surgery possibly be for 13k??
some sort of all over body lift?
At 25 why would someone be spending that amount, breast surgery or a nose job would maybe interest someone of 25 but neither would cost that much surely?

could she be having work done to correct a previous procedure which turned out badly and 13k is the cumulative total so far?

It sounds like she's going harley street so that would be £5k nose job, £5k boob job and whatever an uplift is.

Well done OP for standing up for yourself but dont go down to her level by making it about cosmetic surgery v baby. Its not about what the money is being spent on but purelt that is your money she's asking you to spend.

Foslady ptosis can happen at at any age, some woman have it from soon after they begin to develop and it just gets worse and worse as they age so 25 doesn't really mean anything.

Doesn't mean she's not a cheeky fucker though!

OP, PLEASE, PLEASE TELL US WHAT SHE IS HAVING DONE?!

Craniorectotomy, to pull her head out of her arse?

Well shit, that's what I get for not refreshing before I post at the end of a long thread! 🤣

NukaColaGirl what she says.

Your friend won't be able to move after black and blue, she may not have any idea how lucky she is to have your support. Maybe say work can't let you off, then see how she stiffs up. Sounds very selfish and self obsessed........ How can she not see you are doing her a favour.? Be nice about it, laugh but she is being unrealistic. After she will be very bruised.