I think my friend should pay, she thinks we should split it?

[Welshgal1]

Driving a friend 4 hours away for an operation (cosmetic) and will use 2 full tanks of fuel in my car, cost of a hotel, food while I'm there and I'm using a days annual leave.
She wants to split all costs down the middle, whereas I think I'm using my holiday entitlement and 2 days of my time (which I am more than happy to give up) but don't think I should be paying for fuel, or for the hotel? I've said I'll pay for all my own food.
Her logic is we're both going so why should only she pay, she's already paying lots for surgery.
My logic is I wouldn't be going if it wasn't to do her a favour so don't see it fair to split costs.
Whats the right thing to do here? Don't want to be mean but trying to be fair...

I’d send a final text ‘to clarify I won’t be able to accompany you anymore . I hope your surgery goes well. I’m not up for any further discussions regarding this’

I do feel for you OP, it must be very upsetting to have a friend treat you like this :(

Well I was initially coming on to say that I'd not go overnight and tell her to make her own way there but I'd collect her when she's ready to come home and she can pay for fuel.

But I've just read all the OPs up dates.

Tell her to git tae fuck!!!!

Poor OP !

When in doubt do nowt

If she is an old good friend having a crazy she might have a sleep and come to her senses

I am sure you feel shit now

You know she isn't your friend right?

YANBU OP. I’ve had car trouble lately and relied on a lot of lifts. I’ve paid my friends either petrol money or bought lunch, or both on a long trip!
If clients have helped me out,I knock something off the bill.

If you are only going for her, then she should be paying for everything.

You’re being monumentally thick about this OP!

Sorry, but you are!

She should be paying for the cost of your holiday days you’re taking to be off with her

The petrol, ALL expenses and then STILL she ought to give you a gift of some kind to say thank you so much for being there for me.

She’s choosing surgery for vanity purposes, having you drive her there etc is a cost of her procedure.

She can get public transport then!! You are doing her a big favour so she should pay all of it, including your food as you are doing the driving. Massive CF!!!

I need a facelift right now. My jaw has dropped at all this cheeky fuckery! Stay strong OP.

If she was partner (not friend, albeit ex- now!), I'd say this sounds like financial abuse.

She doesn't get to tell you how you spend your money, even if it's on a stick of gum. Expecting you to go into debt to fund her cosmetic surgery is just plain bonkers.

BTW, why can't the surgery be done more locally? Surely there's places closer than That London.

I wouldn't be taking her.

I’m always apprehensive when people take out loans to finance cosmetic surgery. They usually take out the bare minimum required and don’t think about all the extra costs - many procedures will need post op antibiotics, painkillers etc, and the cost of the private prescription can be unexpectedly eye watering. Nobody thinks to take out extra to cover the unexpected (longer procedure than usual, complications either during or after surgery that might require further surgery or even just a longer stay than initially estimated) - and complications happen! I’ve had to take someone back to theatre for a bleeding issue after breast implants - clot was evacuated, but the implant had to come out, she had to come back for surgery later, none of which she could afford. Even something as simple as anaesthetic drugs can be ridiculously expensive (one of the reversal agents is pretty much $500 per vial).

I’d suggest if she can’t afford the cost of petrol and your hotel, she can’t afford the procedure and she should wait until she’s saved for it. She clearly is able to save for it, how else is she going to manage the loan repayments. And she should save an extra 25-50% to cover unexpected costs - which if not needed, she can go shopping with for her new figure.

I need a facelift right now. My jaw has dropped at all this cheeky fuckery

I'd block the cf for calling you hun let alone for all the cheeky fuckery...seriously though op you cant take her now it would be way too awkward...can you imagine the atmosphere in the car lol....

Leave her to her own devices, and save your time and money.
She isn't a friend, she's making good use of you.
She is having cosmetic surgery, she isn't ill, let her get a taxi home, she'll be fine.

Late to this thread. Just quickly saying there's been some great advice on here, and great to read OP has found the courage to stick up for herself. for everyone, because it's a Saturday night.

I never cease to be amazed that there are actual real people who behave like this. It’s utterly baffling.

Their parents never said no cheby

13k on surgery at 25. Jesus. You crack on with that baby.

Wot @Chasingsquirrels said

• Her logic is "we are both going so should split it". My reply would be "fair enough, I'm not comong any more".*

She would be absolutely right to suggest splitting bills if it was a jolly you were both planning. Hanging around on your own while she has elective surgery when you could be making a baby isn't much of a jolly.

Tell her you can't afford it so won't be going. Tell her she will have to catch the train. That would be way more expensive for her to pay.

Deffinate CF I'm gobsmacked. Put your foot down OP especially after the nasty texts I was pregnant at 25

If she is having £13k’s worth of plastic surgery, at a reputable hospital, she will have been told she can’t travel home on public transport. She’s now bricking it, as you’re pulling back - quite rightly in my view.
To those saying banks don’t lend out money for this type of thing anymore, private cosmetic surgery places will have tame finance companies to offer loans . £13k’s worth of plastic surgery is a big op to be done 4hrs from home.

Is she having her head surgically removed from up her arse? If not she's wasting her money.