I think my friend should pay, she thinks we should split it?

[Welshgal1]

Driving a friend 4 hours away for an operation (cosmetic) and will use 2 full tanks of fuel in my car, cost of a hotel, food while I'm there and I'm using a days annual leave.
She wants to split all costs down the middle, whereas I think I'm using my holiday entitlement and 2 days of my time (which I am more than happy to give up) but don't think I should be paying for fuel, or for the hotel? I've said I'll pay for all my own food.
Her logic is we're both going so why should only she pay, she's already paying lots for surgery.
My logic is I wouldn't be going if it wasn't to do her a favour so don't see it fair to split costs.
Whats the right thing to do here? Don't want to be mean but trying to be fair...

When you have your baby 🤞you should name it Big Fake Tits Cheeky Fucker after her.

I'd reply and just say that she needs to get someone else to take her instead of you. You can't take her now as either you'll pay for it and resent it or your friend will pay and she'll be sulky and moody with you. Just make sure it's clear that you aren't taking her - the last thing you want is for her to assume you'll do it then kick up a fuss at the last minute. I'd stop replying after that too!
Enjoy your day off doing something else.

Presumably this is elective surgery? Her choice to get into debt but not to drag you down . If she needs to avoid public transport she can book a taxi home. I'm not sure why you should drive her there as she would be perfectly ok to travel then.

Wow what a cheeky bitch. I would not be friends with her anymore

"you really think I should pay for a hotel in London, which I wouldn't need if it wasn't for you? Plus wear and tear on my car, plus 2 tanks of petrol for a journey I wouldn't be making if it wasn't for you? I will spend/save my own money how i like, thanks, and so can you."

Off you fuck then.

the surgery is her for her? clearly she should pay no question . is this a reverse

Well let’s hope the cosmetic surgery is good because she’s going to have to compensate for her personality.

You’re too nice @Welshgal you deserve better friends than that - has she ever done a favour for you like this that required the similar amount of time and effort?

You should cancel your annual leave after those texts.

Aridane you haven’t really understood the situation. My son is in hospital 8 hours from home and will be for over a year (because that’s how people with leaning disabilities are treated in the U.K.). I was visiting anyway, dh couldn’t make that visit so she was doing me a huge favour coming along as well. And ds1 was delighted to see her. She had to rearrange work etc There’s no way I’d let her pay.

Definitely withdraw your offer of a lift now even if she paid in full.

It will be incredibly awkward and she doesn't seem like the type of person to be the bigger person. I bet she would be huffing and puffing all weekend about these costs.

Text her now and tell her that you are not going to take her. She will never see your side of it because she is an entitled cheeky fucker.

🎵 This is the end of a beautiful friendship 🎵

tell her your car is broken down, the garage has quoted several hundred for a repair, you dont have the money, can she please chip in and pay for it

I don't understand how this is even in doubt? Don't do the favour - problem solved.

And by the way, she isn't your friend. Her messages show she is extremely manipulative, and she's probably been getting away with murder in your manipulationship for ages.

I have to say, I'm not convinced she's really thought through this surgery. It's costing around £13k - so it doesn't sound like a smaller procedure. She's not factored in logistics - travel and accommodation costs, the fact she would probably need to have assistance after the surgery (many places wouldn't let her leave on her own - depending on the type of surgery - does she realise how sore she will be afterwards?) so she would likely need someone there anyway. She was planning to take public transport... again, depending on the type of surgery she is having, this might not be the best idea - risk of people bumping into her etc... she'll likely not be feeling the best.

No way should you be paying! Her choice to have cosmetic procedures and the cost of them (the travel and accommodation is part of that cost whether you go or not!) is not your responsibility. She's making it sound like you owe her or something.

If she wants to take out loans to do this then that is her choice but it really doesn't sound like she's given it proper consideration and she certainly hasn't thought through the full cost and logistics of having it done.

I'd tell her to make her own arrangements; if it is that important to her then she would have considered all that too - not just the cost of the procedure. Has she even done her homework about the clinic/hospital/surgeon etc?

In any event, after the texts she's sent you I'd tell her to sod off and sort it herself.

Good grief how DO these people survive in life?

I love it when expat turns up on a cheeky thread. She's(?) so indignant and blunt in her advice. I always look out for her contributions.

CF right there.

And tell her to get to fuck, the atrocious cunt.

I guess you won't be asking her to be Godmother?

You're both going because you're doing her a massive favour! It's not a holiday for you, is it? She should pay the fuel and the hotel. She is a CF!

she should definitely pay for the petrol but I would expect to pay for my share of the hotel because I've agreed to come with her.

OP, PLEASE, PLEASE TELL US WHAT SHE IS HAVING DONE?!

I’ve read 13 pages and I deserve to know.

CF has an interesting concept on life. I wonder if she will be contributing to your costs when you become pregnant because she knows how extremely important it is to you, right?

And going during ovulation is crazy if you are txt and have been for a little while. You will be massively resentful and not best placed to listen to her post op whinging.

"Of course you've got the right to spend your money on surgery and associated costs. But you don't have the right to spend MINE!"

OP, PLEASE, PLEASE TELL US WHAT SHE IS HAVING DONE?!

Rhinoplasty, I guess, if her nose is put out of joint this easily!