I think my friend should pay, she thinks we should split it?

[Welshgal1]

Driving a friend 4 hours away for an operation (cosmetic) and will use 2 full tanks of fuel in my car, cost of a hotel, food while I'm there and I'm using a days annual leave.
She wants to split all costs down the middle, whereas I think I'm using my holiday entitlement and 2 days of my time (which I am more than happy to give up) but don't think I should be paying for fuel, or for the hotel? I've said I'll pay for all my own food.
Her logic is we're both going so why should only she pay, she's already paying lots for surgery.
My logic is I wouldn't be going if it wasn't to do her a favour so don't see it fair to split costs.
Whats the right thing to do here? Don't want to be mean but trying to be fair...

Just read the texts

Argh what an arse

Dump

@scotchpie thanks, I’ll have a look!

Cheeky cow!

Wow she's rude

Well done @Welshgal1 for standing up to her bullying you

Hope you and your partner have loads of funfunfun baby dancing and that it is successful

When you get the positive test result please update this thread

Another thing. I bet she’s not actually allowed to leave the hospital and go home on public transport esp for a four hour journey. Yes you’re healthy when you’re going for cosmetic surgery but it’s still surgery. If she is having her boobs done she won’t be able to lift anything..... she needs you more than she’ll let you know!!!

Nice of her to tell you you’d rather spend your hard earned money on her than nappies though.

Just dump her, she is awful and no friend, just someone you know.

@Caribou58
Agree with your comment regarding "dream wedding" - but, prior to that, there could be a thread requesting financial help for her loan repayments - perhaps can't pay those as well as the rent for her penthouse

YANBU. Friendship is over now after those text messages, she's only grovelling now because she knows you ain't gonna be a pushover.

I would reply:

It is your decision to spend your money how you wish. Likewise, it is my decision to spend my money how I wish. Considering you expected me to cover your costs and the way you have spoken to me, my offer to drive you there is now withdrawn. Perhaps next time somebody offers to help you out by driving hundreds of miles and using up their annual leave, then you might be more grateful rather than just expecting them to be out of pocket too.

As for me TTC, you being a CF has worked out well. My ovulation day actually is one of the days we were due to be in London. So I'm now going to stay at home and have loads of sex instead. Have a nice life.

@Otterseatpuffinsdontthey

Absolutely!

This girl is NOT your friend.

@Smedmum
That thread got deleted

Your reply was perfect. She's extremely cheeky and she knows it. She's not having a breakdown, she's just frantically trying to say anything to make sure you go along with her plan. Why the hell should you use up your annual leave for this and then have costs to pay as well? She's not a friend, she's a selfish cow. I would have the 2 days doing something nice for yourself and spending some of your hard-earned money on yourself

Otter
The latest thread about the nasty FIL and broken glass saga is still there: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3239882-To-meet-up-with-MIL-to-discuss-broken-wine-glass?pg=1

@Otterseatpuffinsdontthey oh no! Why?

OP you are doing her the favour. She should pay he petrol and the hotel cost.

On top of that she is being a rude cow expecting you to do it.

OP, you can't convince her that you're being reasonable. Best not to even bother trying.

I'd love to know what she thinks you'd get out of spending the money and going -

• the joy of her company (lucky lucky you)
• the opportunity to drive for hours
• the chance to be the first to see the new boobs/arse/whatever
• having a couple less days leave to have to focus out what to do with (always a dilemma)
• pottering around London in your tod (actually this one is good, I love that!)
• am I missing something?

With people like this, the less you say the better.

If you pad things out with words it will just hand her with ammunition to try and use against you.

Jesus this 'friend' is seriously deluded selfish and NASTY

How long have you known her ? How close are you?

Maybe for a best friend or a sister but otherwise no way.
And after all the texts then double no.

Tell her to go alone if she's not willing to pay up. She's a CF you are doing the driving, using your leave and basically acting as her carer post op, for free!! You should not pay for anything.

Wow. I’m so shocked at your friend. I didn’t know people behaved like this! My god!

Fucking hell, what a CF. She wants you to pay through the nose to do her a favour?!!?!