Sister not looking after my house

[BipolarSunset]

Really need your help here.

So me, DH and DS have just come back from holiday, sister stayed at mine all week to look after our dog.
She works 2 days a week so we had arranged a friend to pop in and take DDog out for a walk and to feed him.

Get a call Wednesday whilst away from friend saying my house has been completely destroyed, DDog was locked in his cage (we never put him in if we go out) which was filled with urine and there was rubbish everywhere.
Friend had cleaned cage, bathed dog and then took him out. There was also a used pregnancy test just sitting on my toilet cistern.

Come back today and house isn't much better, spoken to my mum who has defended my sister saying that friend had invaded her privacy and that DDog was hard to look after and pretty much that I am a neat freak.

Am I being unreasonable?

Destroyed? Wtaf?

Do you always exaggerate this much?

Yes it's messy but it is NOT destroyed. You are being ridiculous

DDog being badly treated - now THAT is worth feeling destroyed over.

My kitchen is messier than that right now

I think it’s really important to keep anything you are looking after in the same state as when you got it.
Yanbu

HER FRIEND SAID IT WAS DESTROYED.

Come on, comprehension is important.

@thisparachuteisanapsack unfortunately the posters on a mission to ridicule and belittle OP and defend someone with no respect for someone else’s home are running with the derail and not considering the facts or basic courtesy and manners

Where’s the picture of the destroyed kitchen??
The kitchen shown has some stuff on worktops, hardly destroyed. Yabu.

*HER FRIEND SAID IT WAS DESTROYED.

Come on, comprehension is important.*

Indeed. But OP hasn't said her friend was wrong and in fact the kitchen is simply overly messy. Hence OP agrees that kitchen is destroyed - at least that's my reading.

unfortunately the posters on a mission to ridicule and belittle OP and defend someone with no respect for someone else’s home are running with the derail and not considering the facts or basic courtesy and manners

I don't think anyone was defending the sister.

That's untidy/messy. Your friend clearly doesn't know what the word destroyed means. Lots of people live like that every day

No she didn't, her friend did

and she agreed with her, hence the thread. It doesn't say "my friend said my house was completely destroyed by my sister which was clearly complete nonsense" does it?

Your poor dog. I'd be livid - the way she treated him was cruel.

That kitchen is destroyed. I would be seriously cross about it, totally understand your view OP. For those who say that is normal - you can't be serious? It's a pig sty!!

Never let her look after your house again.

I don't disagree with my friend. My house would never and has never been in this state.

DDog seems quite timid tonight which is not like him. Usually a very hyper JRT. Which makes me wonder what has gone on this past week!

I was just asking if I'm BU with what happened to DDog and my house.

YANBU and if your dog is a JRT that was way more than one pee in the cage as a PP suggested.

Folk on some threads baffle me. Slate OP but almost canonise the person OP has been upset by.

Manners matter ffs.

I don't disagree with my friend. My house would never and has never been in this state.

Your Mum’s right. You’re a clean freak. If it’s this bad you have some major control issues.

I agree with the poster who says that’s just one wee. She put the dog in the crate before she went out to work and left a tiny mess in the kitchen. I don’t think she’s done anything wrong. You’ve got no reason to think the dog was in there for hours other than your shit stirring friend either.

Calling the OP a clean freak is a bit much to be fair. It wouldn't be acceptable to say that people who keep their kitchens like this are complete slobs so why is the opposite acceptable. Personally I would be mortified and think the kitchen is a real mess but everyone is entitled to their own standards.

I think that calling the kitchen “destroyed” is a massive overreaction, based on that photo (I’m another one who’s kitchen counters look like that most of the time).

The main thing that would tick me off there is the cardboard box on the cooker - I can’t tell from the photo if it’s an electric or a gas cooker, but leaving flammable stuff like cardboard on top of cookers is a potential fire risk.

However, even though I don’t agree it’s in a bad state, I do feel that your sister should have left the kitchen in the same state she found it in. It’s disrespectful to go and stay in someone’s home and leave it messier than it was when you arrived.
So YANBU to be annoyed with her for leaving it messy.

That is a mess, but would take 5 minutes to have back to normal. Your sister and her dp weren't respectful of your home though. I bet her FIL was very happy to have them gone for a bit.

I'd never speak to someone again if they mistreated my dog, family or not. And what she has done is outright neglectful.

And whether or not the kitchen was "destroyed", objectively, she has left it in a state different to the one she found it, and that's unacceptable. Surely common courtesy is to leave someone's home in a condition as close as possible to what you found it in?

YANBU. Poor dog probably has some urine burns on him. Thank god you had your friend come in who understood possible issues and cleaned him up. I would be pissed off re kitchen too. It looks more like surface stuff which is almost worse - how easy is that to clean up!

The dog being left unwalked and to lie in urine is terrible, animal abuse.

The kitchen is untidy but nothing worth getting angry over.

I’m concerned that OP equates the two. And what’s a pregnancy test got to do with anything? Unless the sister is acting out of character because she’s freaking out about an unplanned pregnancy.

Poor dog. I’d be upset by how they treated the dog. Her dp was there too. I think the state of your house is a side issue. But very annoying.

YANBU

I would not be happy if my dog were left in his own urine - the floor would be clean though because I’d wipe it with her!!!

The mess I’d be less bothered about but I’d definitely let her know I wasn’t happy and she’d never stay in my house again! It doesn’t matter whether you pay her, how old she is, or any other irrelevant fact brought up on here, the normal way is to leave a house as you found it! Your sister is a disrespectful slob!

We’ve found PetStay good for our dog - it’s in the sitters home rather than yours but he’s been well cared for. Not the cheapest option but we have peace of mind and that’s invaluable.

The kitchen would take me about five minutes to set straight. YABU on that score.

The pregnancy test - not an issue.

What she did to your dog though - horrible, selfish, and she deserves to have strips cut off her.

And I agree with RhiWrites - equating the state of the dog and the kitchen is worrying.

The title should be sister not looking after my dog. The kitchen is a non issue, its messy, but destroyed means broken and unrepairable so your friend over reacted and so have you, neat freak or not. I would be pissed off about the kitchen, but the dog however is a different matter.

I would be really angry, I would be asking what happened there and why did she not ask for help if she was struggling to look after him? Is she usually happy spending time with the dog?

I don't think YABU to be annoyed at her so what attitude where the dog is concerned.

The dog however, why