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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sister not looking after my house

182 replies

BipolarSunset · 04/05/2018 15:38

Really need your help here.

So me, DH and DS have just come back from holiday, sister stayed at mine all week to look after our dog.
She works 2 days a week so we had arranged a friend to pop in and take DDog out for a walk and to feed him.

Get a call Wednesday whilst away from friend saying my house has been completely destroyed, DDog was locked in his cage (we never put him in if we go out) which was filled with urine and there was rubbish everywhere.
Friend had cleaned cage, bathed dog and then took him out. There was also a used pregnancy test just sitting on my toilet cistern.

Come back today and house isn't much better, spoken to my mum who has defended my sister saying that friend had invaded her privacy and that DDog was hard to look after and pretty much that I am a neat freak.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
CloudCaptain · 04/05/2018 17:37

Soooooo. Is dsis preggers? Are congratulations in order?

BrieAndChilli · 04/05/2018 17:43

Do you know the definition of destroyed???
To me it would mean cracked tiles, stained Work top, cupboard doors hanging off, food and rubbish all over the floor, smashed dishes.

The picture shows a bit of mess, some cleaned pans that are drying and not put away and some bits and pieces of rubbish that need popping in the recycling!!

GlueSticks · 04/05/2018 17:49

I absolutely would not leave someone else's house messy. However, neither would I kick off at someone who had been doing me a favour. I'd be annoyed and wouldn't ask them again, but I wouldn't have a row about it.

I don't have dogs and the only people I know who have crates do leave dogs in them when they go out. Thanks to those who have explained - that makes more sense now.

On balance, DSis WBU to leave to dog in the crate if she knew it shouldn't have been. OP WBU having a go at someone who was doing her a favour. OPs friend WBmassivelyU for taking shit stirring and mentioning the pregnancy test.

It seems like the DM in this case has called it pretty well tbh. IMO gossiping about medical information (such as pregnancy tests taken) is way more of a big deal than a messy kitchen.

BrendasUmbrella · 04/05/2018 17:52

The kitchen looks like mine - on a good day Blush

But it was out of order for her to cage your dog like that. Ignore your DM, she knows your sister was in the wrong.

Gottagetmoving · 04/05/2018 17:53

Stop being so bloody dramatic about the kitchen. You obviously have no idea what 'destroyed' really looks like.There's stuff left out on the surfaces. It would take five minutes to tidy it.
I can understand concern about the dog but the kitchen? It's tidier in that picture than many kitchens I've seen.

Smeddum · 04/05/2018 17:54

It would take five minutes to tidy it

Aye, 5 minutes OPs sister should have spent tidying it!

Gottagetmoving · 04/05/2018 17:54

Stuff, not ff

Gottagetmoving · 04/05/2018 17:55

Aye, 5 minutes OPs sister should have spent tidying it!

That wasn't the point....the point was about OP being dramatic about a bit of mess.

Smeddum · 04/05/2018 18:00

@Gottagetmoving I don’t believe for a second that all the posters being so blase about it would be so calm if it was their own house that someone had left a midden!

The mess is irrelevant it’s the disrespect that’s out of order.

Tartyflette · 04/05/2018 18:05

The OP's thread title said 'sister not looking after my house' and it's hard to disagree with that. It was her friend who said it was completely destroyed when she phoned to tell her about the dog.
The kitchen may not be destroyed but I would be seriously annoyed if I had left my kitchen clean and tidy and came home to find it like that.
If I was house-sitting for someone, family especially, I would make sure I left everything at least as clean as it was when I arrived.
And that goes double for the care of any animals too.

Gottagetmoving · 04/05/2018 18:09

meddum

Gottagetmoving I don’t believe for a second that all the posters being so blase about it would be so calm if it was their own house that someone had left a midden!

But it's not a midden!... It's a few things on the workgroup!
I would think, Blimey, messy sod....and that's it!

Smeddum · 04/05/2018 18:26

@Gottagetmoving you (and every other poster who is defending it) is missing the point completely, whether you or anyone else thinks it’s a midden isn’t relevant. The fact that OP does and it’s her house is relevant. Presumably it wasn’t in that state when sister arrived, therefore it shouldn’t have been when she left.

NCJaneDoeNut · 04/05/2018 18:31

Was she trying to tell you that she is pregnant ?

That looks like a new roll of tissue she has thoughtfully bought and left on the counter.

AlpacaLypse · 04/05/2018 18:34

Have you ever left ddog to be looked after by someone else in your home before? I'm wondering if the crating was because he was stressed by your absence and chewing stuff as a result.

IronMansIronButt · 04/05/2018 18:36

What the fuck is going on with threads where OP has a valid grievance and everyone piles in to take the piss?

Because she said her house was "completely destroyed" when there is fuck all even slightly wrong with it?

IronMansIronButt · 04/05/2018 18:36

What the fuck is going on with threads where OP has a valid grievance and everyone piles in to take the piss?

Because she said her house was "completely destroyed" when there is fuck all even slightly wrong with it?

Gottagetmoving · 04/05/2018 18:39

Gottagetmoving you (and every other poster who is defending it) is missing the point completely, whether you or anyone else thinks it’s a midden isn’t relevant. The fact that OP does and it’s her house is relevant. Presumably it wasn’t in that state when sister arrived, therefore it shouldn’t have been when she left

I'm not defending anything. I agree that the sister should not have left a mess.
I was commenting on the fact the kitchen was not 'destroyed'
If it's ok with you, I get pissed off when people exaggerate and over dramatise

BrieAndChilli · 04/05/2018 18:58

The problem is posters completely over egg their orgiginal post so people pick up that rather then the real issue.
With this post, people expected to see a kitchen that needed replacing due to so much damage. What they got was a kitchen that needs a good tidy (and probably a wipe down although that’s not clear in the photos)
If the OP had said god my sister is a messy mare and I’m so disappointed that she didn’t clear up after herself she would have got a different response.

Twilight456 · 04/05/2018 19:02

Sister should have left it as she found it. Yanbu.

hungryhungryhippo8 · 04/05/2018 19:10

Because she said her house was "completely destroyed" when there is fuck all even slightly wrong with it?

No she didn't, her friend did.

Smeddum · 04/05/2018 19:18

To be honest, I’d consider that pretty destroyed in comparison to how my kitchen usually is. I would be pretty pissed off.

And OP didn’t say it, her friend did.

Smeddum · 04/05/2018 19:19

Because she said her house was "completely destroyed" when there is fuck all even slightly wrong with it?

By your standards, so it would be fine if it was your house because you wouldn’t mind.

OP does mind, as is her right. Would you leave someone else’s house a shit tip when it wasn’t how you found it?

thisparachuteisanapsack · 04/05/2018 19:30

The point is, not about whether people consider her kitchen to be not a mess or 'you should see my kitchen' etc, it's that it's clearly not tidy and if we presume that the sides were clear when OP left then it's disrespectful. As is leaving a pregnancy test out and mistreating the dog. All of it is a total lack of respect for the OP and her poor dog. If anyone treated a pet of mine like that I'd hit the roof.

Happygummibear · 04/05/2018 19:30

It's not destroyed but that's terrible. I had a friend cat sit and house sit. She made sure everything was tidy, left me a lovely note and flowers and milk and bread..

My mum also popped in to make sure that the place was clean

When I house and cat sat for my brother I made sure the Pets were looked after and the house was cleaned top to bottom including hoovering rooms I hadn't used so that dust was gone.

I would be mightly peeved too

AbiMichelle · 04/05/2018 19:35

Wtf? You're kitchen is a bit messy, will take less than an hour to clean up.
YABU "destroyed" is just dramatic.Hmm

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