Sister not looking after my house

[BipolarSunset]

Really need your help here.

So me, DH and DS have just come back from holiday, sister stayed at mine all week to look after our dog.
She works 2 days a week so we had arranged a friend to pop in and take DDog out for a walk and to feed him.

Get a call Wednesday whilst away from friend saying my house has been completely destroyed, DDog was locked in his cage (we never put him in if we go out) which was filled with urine and there was rubbish everywhere.
Friend had cleaned cage, bathed dog and then took him out. There was also a used pregnancy test just sitting on my toilet cistern.

Come back today and house isn't much better, spoken to my mum who has defended my sister saying that friend had invaded her privacy and that DDog was hard to look after and pretty much that I am a neat freak.

Am I being unreasonable?

I was expecting to see a photo of some post student house party morning after scene. Okay, it's not squeaky clean but equally it's a 'mess' that can be cleaned up in 15 mins. Chalk it up as experience and move on, its not worth starting a family feud over.

Thank you saucy jack!

I really don't think it looks that bad OP. So I don't know if I believe you that the rest was trashed too.

YANBU to be upset if your dog wasn't properly looked after. YABU to complain about the pregnancy test - what business is it of yours? She would probably have got rid of it before you came home and you'd never have known if your neighbour hadn't stirred up shit.

"Destroyed!" 😂 Get a grip.

I'd be concerned about the dog but you are being ridiculous about a bit of mess on your kitchen worktops.

Did you pay her?

Mess is annoying, if you'd paid her, I could maybe understand your point. If you used her as a free house sitter and kicked up a fuss about some sprays and kitchen rolls not being put away, then I'm with your mother.

For everyone questioning how bad the crate was.
I'm guessing the dried bits are where my dog was laying in it.

Disgusting.

The pregnancy test thing is wrong. She knew someone would be coming to sort DDog out and still left the house messy. It's embarrassing.

I’d be fucked off. The dog thing is awful and the kitchen is a complete shit tip. If I walked it on that I’d kick off

YANBU I wouldnt say the kitchen is destroyed but Id want to return to the house in the same state that I left it.

Treatment of the dog is not on- if she didnt want to, or couldnt do what was asked then she should have said no.

Maybe she will make you some flatbread?

I have a dog. That's one pee. It's not ideal but it's not major cruelty either.

Did you tell your sister how to care for the dog, including not to lock him in the crate for extended periods? Also, where is his crate mat?

I echo people that the first priority seems to be your (not) destroyed kitchen, just not up to your standard but I don't care how difficult the dog was anyone can take a dog out regularly enough that it doesn't have to soil itself THAT should be your main issue and the first photo you posted not the kitchen work surface.and no YANBU to lose it over that.

Yanbu. I’d feel really disrespected.

And there are no words for that crate! I’d be very very upset to see that.

I thought the dog sitter sorted out the cage? did they take the picture or did the dog pee in the cage again?

Why do you have a cage if you don't use it when you go out?

That would take 15 minutes 😂It's cardboard and some toilet rolls 😂Doesn't look dirty and not destroyed in the slightest

Never come to a house like mine for tea 😂

I don't think the kitchen is 'destroyed' by a long chalk – you should see mine!

Pregnancy test is a bit sloppy and disrespectful but, assuming it's a one-off, I could shrug it off.

But locking your dog in and not cleaning him out is disgraceful.

I would be extremely miffed about the dog.. thankfully you had someone else go in and check on the dog. Whilst the house isn't destroyed as such I would be pretty pissed off to come back to that mess if I hadn't left it like that before I went. I am a "neat freak" myself and would be irrationally incensed by the lack of respect to my property if someone left my house in a mess like that to be honest.

Rofl! Don't ever get a job in housing, OP. I've visited many a client in houses where you can't actually get in the kitchen for clutter, or where you have to tiptoe through the dog shit that's everywhere.

I had visions of cupboard doors broken and hanging off, scorch marks on the flooring, rubbish piled up everywhere and probably at least a few maggots.

Unforgivable to leave the dog shut in a crate for so long he had to pee in there though.

Yeah, can totally understand why you are upset about the dog, I would be furious. That's much more of an issue than the house though - a bit of mess isn't the priority here, your pup is.

Yanbu op. Your kitchen isn't destroyed but to me that's a mess. I leave things as I like to find them. But worse is the dog situation. Poor thing. Locked in a crate so long that it had to pee there? That's awful. I'd be fuming if that were my sister. Tbf, my dsis does live a shit tip but she's immaculate in other peoples houses. Don't ask her for any favours again. Let's hope if she is pregnant she cares for the baby better than she did you dog.

I'd be fucking furious with her for doing that to my dog and yes , I'd be angry with my kitchen left like that too

When you said destroyed I imagined her kids drawing all over the walls and fag burns in the carpet etc so no it's not destroyed. But it's VERY untidy and unclean and I'd be extremely pissed off if I was you. She should be ashamed of herself what a tramp

Your kitchen is untidy not destroyed. Destroyed usually means doors hanging off etc. I would be very upset over the treatment of the dog, this is where your priority should lie.

What the fuck is going on with threads where OP has a valid grievance and everyone piles in to take the piss?

How you have your own house is irrelevant, if you’d leave someone else’s house in that state, that’s really rude and inconsiderate.

If you’re there to look after a dog, you look after it, not lock it in a crate in it’s own urine.

OP YANBU, at all. I would leave someone else’s house as clean and tidy as I found it, and I certainly wouldn’t leave it a shit tip.

How I clean my own house is irrelevant, it’s about being respectful of someone else’s house. And if you need to be told not to lock a dog in a crate when they aren’t usually, you shouldn’t be looking after a dog.

What were you paying her for dog sitting for you for all that time?

How old is DSis?

Tbh I'm more on her side - yes it's untidy and the dog thing is atrocious, but does she have experience looking after dogs?

It looks to me like she's a teenager and has never had to clean up piss before and has no experience keeping her own house tidy.

If she's a full grown adult... well... it's poor.

I'm with OP that kitchen is a shit tip.

I'd be ok with DSIS having it like that while I was away, her choice but I'd have expected the dirty wine glass washed and put away and anything else put away Before I got back.

Regardless of what your own personal level of acceptance of mess etc is, if you're staying in someone else's house you LEAVE IT AS YOU FOUND IT!!