Sister not looking after my house

[BipolarSunset]

Really need your help here.

So me, DH and DS have just come back from holiday, sister stayed at mine all week to look after our dog.
She works 2 days a week so we had arranged a friend to pop in and take DDog out for a walk and to feed him.

Get a call Wednesday whilst away from friend saying my house has been completely destroyed, DDog was locked in his cage (we never put him in if we go out) which was filled with urine and there was rubbish everywhere.
Friend had cleaned cage, bathed dog and then took him out. There was also a used pregnancy test just sitting on my toilet cistern.

Come back today and house isn't much better, spoken to my mum who has defended my sister saying that friend had invaded her privacy and that DDog was hard to look after and pretty much that I am a neat freak.

Am I being unreasonable?

I am with you op. The dog thing is awful and I would never leave someone else's kitchen like that. It's awful manners.
Never ask her again.

omg I would be SO mad!! Shes wrecked your kitchen! Not what you want after a holiday esp when you've left it tidy!

The kitchen is a bit untidy 10 minutes tops, pay a proper dog sitter next time if you're not happy

I wouldn't call your kitchen destroyed but it's certainly messy. Surely when you've been house sitting for someone, you do the decent thing and leave it the way you found it? So I'd be miffed that she didn't even bother to have a quick tidy up. Leaving your dog like that is absolutely awful though. Poor thing! Definitely don't ask her for any favours ever again.

I would be upset about the dog being crated, but why was there a crate set up if you didn't want her to use it?

The kitchen is a bit untidy. You do sound a tad ridiculous in calling it "destroyed".

I wouldn't fall out with DSIS over this. I would try to make a joke of it, especially if you might have a lovely DN on the way

The dog crate is awful, you're focus seems skewed

*Your

I'd be livid - she's been extremely neglectful of your dog. He must have been caged for a long time to get into such a state. I'd also be livid the way your house was left and with your Mum for excusing her.

Messy is not destroyed

*What were you paying her for dog sitting for you for all that time?

How old is DSis?

Tbh I'm more on her side - yes it's untidy and the dog thing is atrocious, but does she have experience looking after dogs?

It looks to me like she's a teenager and has never had to clean up piss before and has no experience keeping her own house tidy.

If she's a full grown adult... well... it's poor.*

If she's young, then it's possible that staying at the OP's house might have been fun for her, and a fair trade for her services, thereby not needing payment.
Regardless of her age, assuming she's at least 16, she should know a dog needs to piss and shit.

Agree the kitchen is not destroyed, but it is very messy.

She's 24. Has experience with dogs. Currently lives with her Dp DD and FIL so offered to dog/house sit to give them some time away for FIL.

Destroyed is an overstatement . Destroyed would surely mean beyond repair , which whilst a bit messy is not how she left your kitchen.

The dog thing would bother me far more , but I am sure he/she will suffer no lasting affect.

Does your sister have other pets ? experience of looking after dogs before ? If not I can understand her being a bit overwhelmed or not understanding how much time it can involve.

Ooops cross post with OP !

For everyone asking about the crate - I have one for my dog but I don't shut him in it when I'm going out. When it's time for him to go to bed we'll take him out, give him a biscuit and he'll trot in quite happily. We shut the door behind him (but don't lock it), and then open it again just before we go to bed. The door to it stays open so all the time apart from that, so if we are out, he can, and often does go and lie in it himself. There's pillows and blankets in there so it's kind of like a bed - and he prefers it to his actual bed! (he won't settle down in that, hence putting him in his cage) Maybe op has one for a similar reason?

That's not a neat kitchen, but neither is it destroyed.

I think the kitchen is a shit tip and so many people thinking it’s fine just confirms what I’ve read on here for years... oh our house isn’t tiny but it’s clean ... yeah right

Tidy

Totally agree petulant shocking tbh.

IS THAT IT (KITCHEN)??

Priority should be dog 🐕 🐶

@PetulantPolecat couldn’t agree more. And I’m actually and a bit at the people who would merrily leave someone else’s house in that state??

Thank fuck they’re not my family!

I don't suppose it matters how the post holiday kitchen compares to our kitchens at home, what matters is that she didn't have enough respect to keep it as she found it. I don't think you are unreasonable at all, and it doesn't matter how much urine was in the cage, whether it was a wee bit damp or totally awash, she shouldn't have caged the animal purely for the sake of convenience

The kitchen is messy but fine, pregnancy test a non-issue, dog a massive problem for me. That's totally unacceptable and should be the focus here. Cruelty to an animal is far worse than anything else.

I'd be massively pissed off and I honestly don't believe the amount of people who are saying they wouldn't be.

The worst bit is the dog and I would go ape shit at that, poor thing. Also leaving a pregnancy test out when she knew someone was coming is gross too. And just leaving a pissy test on top of the toilet? Grim. How hard is it to find a bin?

A 24 year old should know better, she sounds like a tramp.