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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To meet up with MIL to discuss broken wine glass!

975 replies

pugreverywhere · 04/05/2018 08:38

Can't believe the previous thread reached a thousand posts, thanks so much for your support everyone!

I ended up reading MIL's facebook messages for me this morning. Turns up she wants to meet up at a café this weekend to smooth things over "without the boys knowing". She also said she would bring the egg pram back (?!).

Haven't replied yet. DH was pretty upset last night; not sure if he is actually considering going NC with his father. If so, it wouldn't be fair of me to meet up with his Mum in secret - but she's always been lovely to me and I'd hate for my GC having no GP in his life.
Ugh! Still so gutted over this whole thing.

You have all posted some very good advice so I am going to sit and read through it until I decide what we do now.

OP posts:
Jux · 05/05/2018 10:19

That is just mean. I guess that tells you that you're better without them. How has your dh taken it?

I'm so sorry you're missing the one thing you wanted from them. Well, the other thing you wanted from them was their love Sad

Keep your baby well away from them. Block them on everything. Allow dh to take the reigns completely now, and just support him in his endeavours.

Cruel people. You're best off without them - and thank heavens you found out before your baby was born.

SneakyGremlins · 05/05/2018 10:20

Disgrace .......Your FIL???

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 05/05/2018 10:25

No, pugs FIL.

StaplesCorner · 05/05/2018 10:31

OP the only thing you've done that I wouldn't have is bought a new wine glass.

You and DH have handled this as well as you could. Unless both PiL are coming up with apologies don't have anything to do with them - remember they will up their game once the baby is born if you let them.

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour · 05/05/2018 10:32

Disgrace is a devoted soppy grandad!! That's what he's saying FIL will miss!!

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour · 05/05/2018 10:32

Disgrace is a devoted soppy grandad!! That's what he's saying FIL will miss!!

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour · 05/05/2018 10:34

My post is in response to SneakyGremlns Grin

LittleTipple · 05/05/2018 10:41

What a shame that a genuine accident has caused so much trouble. They have been totally unreasonable and to treat you like this when pregnant is despicable. I would message them to say:

'I'm sorry I accidentally broke your glass. Your demand for payment was a huge shock and has caused me a great amount of stress and worry, which isn't good for the baby. If you can't admit that your actions were totally inappropriate I'm afraid I won't be in touch any time soon, as I have to put the health of our unborn child first.'

When I was pregnant I lost some of the feeling in my fingers and dropped things all the time. Everyone was very understanding...can't believe your PIL have taken this attitude.

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 05/05/2018 10:49

Anyone have a link to the first thread?

Apologies if I've somehow missed it.

OuaisMaisBon · 05/05/2018 10:59

Here's the link, AllRoadsLead: PIL has sent be a bill for a broken wine glass

LittleTipple · 05/05/2018 11:00

Allroads the link to first post is https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3239370-PIL-has-sent-be-a-bill-for-a-broken-wine-glass

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 05/05/2018 11:02

Thank you!

GabsAlot · 05/05/2018 11:12

kt the problem is they will lie

theyre not going to say we told them to pay for a glass are they-they'll make up some bullshit about unwanted gifts and being ungrateful for them

th8is is what my narc aunt used to do noone had any idea

PotTheRed · 05/05/2018 11:16

I dont understand why the OP is so unconcerned about the possibility of this appearing in the press.

MarthasGinYard · 05/05/2018 11:23

Quite

As it's already hit Aus apparently

MarthasGinYard · 05/05/2018 11:23

Quite

As it's already hit Aus apparently

NotTakenUsername · 05/05/2018 11:26

I dont understand why the OP is so unconcerned about the possibility of this appearing in the press.

There are three sides to every story. I don’t believe for one moment that this story is all heroes and villains. Life just isn’t that black and white.

GruffaIo · 05/05/2018 11:27

I agree with @GabsAlot. My narc father and enabling mother tell others I owe them money and cut them off because I didn't want to pay it back. I know this because they said to my sister without knowing that we have a good relationship despite them.

Brokenandconfused · 05/05/2018 11:29

What a horrible horrible couple they are.

Your in-laws remind me so much of my own. My husband and I have been together 11 years this year. My relationship with them started off wonderful. Funnily enough became bad when I was also pregnant. The lengths my in-laws have stooped to are disgusting.

I'm so glad to read how your husband has reacted. My husband has always lay down and taken all their abuse. This went on for 10 years and ultimately ended up in thembdoing something unthinkable and unforgivable. Sadly it's taken that and six months of therapy for my husband to begin to see the cracks and have some realisation of exactly how toxic his parents are.

We have now gone no contact with them as there's just no going back after the things they have done.

Be strong. Follow your husband's lead. I personally think it's a good thing this happened before your child was born and that bond was formed. It's awful having to see the devestation a pair of narcissists can cause to a child's world. Your child and you both are very much better off without them. Take care xxx

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 05/05/2018 11:30

Fuck a moose!

OP I've skipped to your posts, and not read any replies, so sorry if it's been said...but...

The egg pram etc smacks of using money to control you, and feel superior!

"This is what you'll loseif you cut us out" sort of thing?

And proof that money doesn't buy you happiness is right there...as you said yourself, you're n9t well off- and yet you've given your DH more support over the past few days than his father sounds like he's given all his life!

Oh, and YANBU.

Your FIL is a benk.

UnicornRainbowColours · 05/05/2018 11:30

Honestly all this over a glass? There’s gotta be more to this story that we’re not hearing...

ScoobyGangMember · 05/05/2018 11:38

I hope FIL lost his deposit on the scan. Although he'd consider it money well spent to punish you.

Ellie56 · 05/05/2018 11:43

FIL is a colossal twat.

IndieTara · 05/05/2018 11:56

I feel for you and Mr Pug Op but you also sound like strong lovely people who will make great parents with great values.

TheIcon · 05/05/2018 11:57

Devils advocate.

You've quite rightly returned all of the stuff they've bought for you. Given that, is it not reasonable for the idiots to think you dont want anything from them so cancelled your present?

Your ILs are nasty bullies and are reaping what they've sown, but the scan thing doesn't seem overly ridiculous when you've made it clear you want nothing from them. Upsetting, definitely, but from their side almost understandable.

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