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Original poster

To meet up with MIL to discuss broken wine glass!

975 replies

pugreverywhere · 04/05/2018 08:38

Can't believe the previous thread reached a thousand posts, thanks so much for your support everyone!

I ended up reading MIL's facebook messages for me this morning. Turns up she wants to meet up at a café this weekend to smooth things over "without the boys knowing". She also said she would bring the egg pram back (?!).

Haven't replied yet. DH was pretty upset last night; not sure if he is actually considering going NC with his father. If so, it wouldn't be fair of me to meet up with his Mum in secret - but she's always been lovely to me and I'd hate for my GC having no GP in his life.
Ugh! Still so gutted over this whole thing.

You have all posted some very good advice so I am going to sit and read through it until I decide what we do now.

OP posts:
Aprilmightbemynewname · 05/05/2018 09:17

Have you sorted the car yet op? I would expect your dh to be pulled by the police for driving a stolen car tbh...

pastabest · 05/05/2018 09:19

If PILs paid for the scan why would the scan place have your email address/contact details rather than theirs? Surely the cancellation email would go to the people who booked it?

Very strange behaviour...

Annonymiss123 · 05/05/2018 09:20

Oh Lord, this saga goes from bad to worse. My bet is that FiL has cancelled the scan and punishing MiL has been part of his motivation. I imagine that, faced with being alienated from her only son and first grandchild, the worm may have turned after decades of being put down.The whole thing has become ridiculous and it's probably crunch time for MiL too now. I hope she's got some good friends

^^This is what I thought too. Initially I had imagined an elderly couple set in their ways, but I presume, as your DH doesn't have older siblings, that they may be a youngish couple and your MIL would have a chance at a fresh life away from controlling FIL - if that's what she wants, obviously.

I hope you and your DH get to have your 4D scan, but even if you don't, it won't be long before you have your precious bundle in your arms. Flowers

JoinedTheDarksideForKylo · 05/05/2018 09:21

Looking forward to your update OP! I want to know about all the lovely things you and DH are doing today to make yourselves feel better.

Send them the glass and the car, say nothing and show them that they can't get to you by having a great weekend and not letting it get to you. I'm sending you a big bunch of cyber flowers!
Thanks

JoinedTheDarksideForKylo · 05/05/2018 09:21

Looking forward to your update OP! I want to know about all the lovely things you and DH are doing today to make yourselves feel better.

Send them the glass and the car, say nothing and show them that they can't get to you by having a great weekend and not letting it get to you. I'm sending you a big bunch of cyber flowers!
Thanks

JustCallMeTheOven · 05/05/2018 09:22

Such a crazy situation, what’s happening this morning? Have you called the scan place? Rebook it and you and DH have a lovely time, I’d be tempted to get DH to meet MIL as she may want to come along and if she’s being punished by CFFIL too she will be feeling completely alone and vulnerable. Saying that she didn’t need to send the “Don’t you dare” text.

I hope you and DH can decide what you want to do and present a strong front together from now on! You don’t need the stress whilst pregnant!

SuperSue77 · 05/05/2018 09:22

Pastabest you can book things for people using their details and then pay for it with a different card, all you need to do is give their e-mail address as the contact.

diddl · 05/05/2018 09:24

"TBH I can't see what the big deal is about the scan."

Me neither-it's not as if PILs gift is the only chance for Op to have one.

Also, they were going to be there-so it wasn't much of a gift imo-it was very much about them!

L1lacw1ne · 05/05/2018 09:27

Aprilmightbemynewname - yes, I wondered if that would be the next punishment dished out. Return the car quickly, lease one instead.

FIL's actions are far exceeding the norm here - he is coming across as vindictive & spiteful as Hell. Even if this is talked over & in any way resolved - do you really want to unleash all this on an unsuspecting child? Any contact now should be very carefully considered.

eloisesparkle · 05/05/2018 09:29

I am aghast at the meaness of your pils
to their only child and his wife.
You can't afford a scan and they are rolling in it Shock.
It makes me appreciate the generosity of both my dps and my pils even more.

eloisesparkle · 05/05/2018 09:29

I am aghast at the meaness of your pils
to their only child and his wife.
You can't afford a scan and they are rolling in it Shock.
It makes me appreciate the generosity of both my dps and my pils even more.

BlueSuffragette · 05/05/2018 09:30

What a very sad situation. For what it's worth I would send the replacement glass to keep the moral high ground. Your DH has got your back and his chhood sounds horrible. FIL sounds like a control freak and will struggle as he had less control over DH who has his own family now. Try and contact the scan people or try looking on Groupon as they sometimes have cheaper deals for Baby scans. Time is a leveler and helps things settle. Once they do you can then decide what to do next and how much contact to have. MIL sounds like she is browbeaten. Losing your only son and grandchild must be dreadful, maybe she'll start to stand up more to FIL. Hope they realize once baby is born how ridiculous they have been. Best of luck to you. Flowers

IAmSproutycus · 05/05/2018 09:42

I have absolutely no advice to offer, but wanted to send my very best wishes to you both and congratulations on your pregnancy. It sounds like feelings are running very high (I'd be beyond fuzzing!), and I hope you can find a way to detach from this for a few days/weeks/months/years and recenter yourselves both in your soon-to-arrive new family. All love xx

WidoWanky · 05/05/2018 09:51

I wouldnt rebook the scan. Save the money, you need to sort out your own car as a priority.

ohfourfoxache · 05/05/2018 09:54

If you’re in London this might be helpful?

www.groupon.co.uk/deals/harley-clinic-limited

SunwhereareyouShowyourself · 05/05/2018 09:57

The best revenge is living well.

^^ couldn't 👍 more Grin. However even if you end up in a mansion they, he will still treat you like failures.

Dh and I did so much to our little house on no budget. Everyone else walks in and says wow. Loads of compliment except from two people. Only criticism is from the that quarter.

MyOtherProfile · 05/05/2018 09:59

Hope you're ok op and can get your scan still.

shallichangemyname · 05/05/2018 09:59

Tell your MiL you were just waiting for your DH to come home so you could discuss it, as you don't want secrets between you, but you were planning to arrange to meet her to sort this out until you received the email cancelling your scan/birthday gift. Now she can forget it - if it's more important to them to make a petty point by withdrawing gifts than seeing their grandchild then there's nothing more to be said.
*
^* this

shallichangemyname · 05/05/2018 10:00

Tell your MiL you were just waiting for your DH to come home so you could discuss it, as you don't want secrets between you, but you were planning to arrange to meet her to sort this out until you received the email cancelling your scan/birthday gift. Now she can forget it - if it's more important to them to make a petty point by withdrawing gifts than seeing their grandchild then there's nothing more to be said.
*
^* this

blackjeans · 05/05/2018 10:03

ThanksThanksThanks

Lol25 · 05/05/2018 10:04

For the record I think Skittlesandbeer has given spot on advice, but if you are going to send a message then one along the lines of myimaginarycathasfleas 's suggestion would get my vote.
Really hope this blows over for you soon op, but not in such a way that things go back to how they were 3 days ago as it seems that really wasn't a healthy situation for anyone... stand your ground now, you and your little family deserve so much more respect than FIL gave!
On the subject of your parents not being near by and the idea that you were possibly looking forward to a close bond with MIL after the birth of your baby, do not be worried. Your social life and support network can grow HUGELY around having a baby should you wish to let it. It's going to be a very exciting time for you and DH, and your PIL can't dampen your joy if you refuse to let them Wink
Best wishes to you in your next exciting chapter Flowers

AvoidingDM · 05/05/2018 10:11

Say nothing about the scan. Mil might not even know he's cancelled it.

I agree with pp save the scan money and get yourselves sorted out with your own car.

Mr Pug is probably having very mixed emotions right now. But I'd stay quiet and let them both stew.

Mil may well be hitting crunch point but she might not have the energy to end the marriage. She herself has a fairly secure nice lifestyle (apart from batshit husband)

ktp100 · 05/05/2018 10:13

Literally EVERYTHING @Skittles said - can't you just see them telling the tale of the dreadful action of their DIL & son, only to be met with the shocked faces and awkward silences of the unfortunate listener! Time will not be kind to them.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 05/05/2018 10:15

Have a lovely weekend the both of you. Read my thread in Classics (elephantine skipping) to see what the reward for not being an arsehole is. FIL will never know that. BWAHAHAHA!

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 05/05/2018 10:17

He's asleep on me right now, warm, flopsy, and slightly sticky. His tiny snores!