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Original poster

To meet up with MIL to discuss broken wine glass!

975 replies

pugreverywhere · 04/05/2018 08:38

Can't believe the previous thread reached a thousand posts, thanks so much for your support everyone!

I ended up reading MIL's facebook messages for me this morning. Turns up she wants to meet up at a café this weekend to smooth things over "without the boys knowing". She also said she would bring the egg pram back (?!).

Haven't replied yet. DH was pretty upset last night; not sure if he is actually considering going NC with his father. If so, it wouldn't be fair of me to meet up with his Mum in secret - but she's always been lovely to me and I'd hate for my GC having no GP in his life.
Ugh! Still so gutted over this whole thing.

You have all posted some very good advice so I am going to sit and read through it until I decide what we do now.

OP posts:
toolonglurking · 04/05/2018 22:04

They are total dickheads, I'm really shocked people behave this way!

2andcountingtodate · 04/05/2018 22:10

Such a horrible way for them to behave especially knowing your scan pictures weren't great. So vindictive. In his mind FIL probably thinks it pays for the glass.

Cancel the glass if you have bought it and use it on replacing your present.

Bumdishcloths · 04/05/2018 22:13

Perhaps the scan cancellation is a horrible coincidence? Maybe check with the scanning company...

If they've cancelled it though that's so fucking spiteful.

Bumdishcloths · 04/05/2018 22:14

Perhaps the scan cancellation is a horrible coincidence? Maybe check with the scanning company...

If they've cancelled it though that's so fucking spiteful.

HatingTheBigShow · 04/05/2018 22:21

Ophelia if you think this is all made-up bollocks, fine, well done you, but you don't need to troll-hunt on the thread - I've seen 3 posts from you snacking at how curious the whole situation is.... If you don't like it, stop clicking on refresh.

bluebellforest · 04/05/2018 22:23

Hi, could someone link the 1st thread, please.

moofeatures · 04/05/2018 22:23

Shower of bastards!

PaddingtonBearHardStare · 04/05/2018 22:26

PIL has sent be a bill for a broken wine glasshttp://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3239370-PIL-has-sent-be-a-bill-for-a-broken-wine-glass

First thread

PaddingtonBearHardStare · 04/05/2018 22:26

PIL has sent be a bill for a broken wine glasshttp://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3239370-PIL-has-sent-be-a-bill-for-a-broken-wine-glass

First thread

PaddingtonBearHardStare · 04/05/2018 22:27

PIL has sent be a bill for a broken wine glasshttp://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3239370-PIL-has-sent-be-a-bill-for-a-broken-wine-glass

First thread

Fightthebear · 04/05/2018 22:27

You know bugger all Ophelia. HTH.

PaddingtonBearHardStare · 04/05/2018 22:27

PIL has sent be a bill for a broken wine glasshttp://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3239370-PIL-has-sent-be-a-bill-for-a-broken-wine-glass

First thread bluebell

BackforGood · 04/05/2018 22:27

Wow. Your FiL has hit a new low, to take back your birthday gift.
I think, as other say, cancel the glass replacement and use the money to pay for the scan if that is what you want.

GruffaIo · 04/05/2018 22:28

Ophelia, those of us with the unfortunate experience of such parents/in-laws can well imagine this being true. We no doubt have similar stories of vindictive responses to losing control.

bluebellforest · 04/05/2018 22:28

Thank you Paddington 😁

PaddingtonBearHardStare · 04/05/2018 22:31

Proof MN is just making me look like a twat

To meet up with MIL to discuss broken wine glass!
AddictedToRadley · 04/05/2018 22:32

Just read both threads and can’t believe how it’s turned out. As PP’s have said, I’d be tempted to return/cancel the glass. I’d then send a copy of the order confirmation to ILs saying that you had ordered it but as they’d cancelled your scan, that had already been given to you as a birthday gift, you had returned the glass to pay for the scan and will return any money to them if there is a difference between the cost of your birthday present and the cost of the broken glass. However, if you could afford it I would keep the glass order and pay for the scan and make sure you added a post to Facebook saying what beautiful pictures you managed to get from your scan (don’t post photos though)...then again perhaps the childish side of me showing through wanting to hurt them as much as they’d hurt you?!
Whatever happens OP just remember that you have a DH who has your back and that’s way more important than your relationship with his parents. Good luck to your little family Flowers

HoneyBadgerApparently · 04/05/2018 22:32

Paddington Smile

TulipsInAJug · 04/05/2018 22:33

That's awful, but don't cancel the glass. You will then lose the moral high ground.
Flowers

AvoidingDM · 04/05/2018 22:39

Op be the bigger person and say nothing. They want you to be upset to grovel and for them to agree to the scan for them to gain back control. Silence will hurt them more than anything.

I agree the scan wasn't really for you it was for them.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 04/05/2018 22:39

I'm going to go slightly against the latest set of advice and say no, don't cancel the glass order. Don't send it back - send it to them with a note to say "We hope you think this was worth it"

And then your DH can go NC because they have truly shown what nasty spiteful twats they really are. You are missing out on something precious that can never be reclaimed because of their spite. I'm with your DH on wanting nothing "over him" in terms of being beholden to them at all, so that really does mean sending the glass over to clear that last hurdle.

I'm so sorry they've been so fucking horrible - unbelievably mean and unkind to take back something that was already given to you! But it really does show you how "conditional" their "love" is, and you really REALLY don't want your child growing up in that situation, where they might get the same sort of treatment if they don't play the game according to PILs' rules.

So sad for you Thanks but at least you do have your DH on your side, which is more than a lot of people in this situation can say. xx

Dropdeadfredra · 04/05/2018 22:40

I agree it really is unbelievably petty for your in-laws to lose their child and grandchild over a, albeit expensive, glass.Hmm

Graphista · 04/05/2018 22:42

"Ophelia, those of us with the unfortunate experience of such parents/in-laws can well imagine this being true. We no doubt have similar stories of vindictive responses to losing control."exactly. I've got several similar stories of my own!

CaledonianQueen · 04/05/2018 22:44

If it is any help OP, then the behaviour they are displaying shows that they are not healthy people to have in the life of a tiny innocent baby! I would not put it past them to try to gain access to your baby. Thankfully legally they don't have a leg to stand on! Make sure that you tell the midwives in hospital that you do not want them visiting!

Your DH has likely been emotionally bullied and abused by his awful Father his whole life. Getting away from them will hopefully be the making of him! It has certainly made a massive difference to my DH! He has so much more confidence now!

My FIL looked down his nose at us because DH didn't earn as much as he did. The first time he saw our house he said 'well it will do for a starter'. We have a lovely semi with four bedrooms and everything we need for our family! We might not have the riches that in-laws have but we have something that they don't- happiness and love! Toxic people are incapable of Love! Well, apart from the Love they have for themselves!

Your DH has the opportunity to become the Father that his Father never was, loving, kind, supportive and generous! There is one thing to be said for toxic parents, they leave a very obvious blueprint for how NOT to parent!

AvoidingDM · 04/05/2018 22:45

But it's not over a glass, the glass is the straw that broke the camel's back.

FIL is controlling MIL enables it. DH has broken because he is controlled and treated like a small child by them. He's trying to stand on his own two feet and they ask for a hideous amount of cash to replace a single glass.