Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To meet up with MIL to discuss broken wine glass!

975 replies

pugreverywhere · 04/05/2018 08:38

Can't believe the previous thread reached a thousand posts, thanks so much for your support everyone!

I ended up reading MIL's facebook messages for me this morning. Turns up she wants to meet up at a café this weekend to smooth things over "without the boys knowing". She also said she would bring the egg pram back (?!).

Haven't replied yet. DH was pretty upset last night; not sure if he is actually considering going NC with his father. If so, it wouldn't be fair of me to meet up with his Mum in secret - but she's always been lovely to me and I'd hate for my GC having no GP in his life.
Ugh! Still so gutted over this whole thing.

You have all posted some very good advice so I am going to sit and read through it until I decide what we do now.

OP posts:
strawberrypenguin · 04/05/2018 19:33

That's awful of them. I'm going to echo everyone else and say cancel the glass and get yourself a 4d scan

GabsAlot · 04/05/2018 19:33

oh pug that really is low of them im sorry

any chance like someone else said you could get some sort of wowcher deal

i think this says it all really

Flisspaps · 04/05/2018 19:35

Report it then @MackT

Flisspaps · 04/05/2018 19:35

Report it then @MackT

SunwhereareyouShowyourself · 04/05/2018 19:35

For all the those making big deal out of nc. It's not a legal thing.

You just ignore... That's all. Don't respond to anything.

Walkaboutwendy · 04/05/2018 19:35

That's awful Sad

But at least they've shown their true colours now. Imagine if they'd done this sort of thing to your child and you had to pick up the pieces.

Does your DH have any siblings?

snowsun · 04/05/2018 19:36

It's so sad how a non issue (a broken glass ) can destroy a family.

I do wonder , if this is out of character, that something medical is going on. Personality changes can happen for more reasons than just dementia.

If this is his personality , how sad. Is he controlling your MIL. Is her life miserable.

To cancel the scan. To deliberately hurt you. Why ? What's the reasoning ?

May be talking to MIL with your husband may shed some light on it.

It's so sad.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 04/05/2018 19:37

Wonder what they are saying now it's in the Mirror?

Mum2jenny · 04/05/2018 19:37

So sorry for you Pug, what a nasty thing to do to you. I agree with others to return the glass but your dh may prefer to clear all obligations to his 'dp' and then ignore them.

musicposy · 04/05/2018 19:37

Cancel the glass order and get the scan. I was all ready to say try to make amends before this, but I can't see there's any way back from this. A birthday gift - you can't take back a gift!

They are very, very stupid. Because they will be the losers, not you. You will have your lovely supportive DH and wonderful little family. Hold on to that - they can't take that from you. Your in laws will have......well, let's hope that polishing their wine glasses gives them joy in the years to come.

SunwhereareyouShowyourself · 04/05/2018 19:38

mackt in that case I feel very lucky for you.

I could have done similar when dd was born. Had it all, death, abuse... Mil got me on her own to be Vile... Fil then started... Mil cancelled stuff...

Your very lucky.

greenlynx · 04/05/2018 19:39

It doesn't matter was FIL very attached to this glass or not. You simply don't behave like this towards your guests. It was not spur of the moment , he waited a few days and then decided to do what he did. It's not about the glass, as lots of people posted already, it's about control.
MIL doesn't look like a victim in this situation to me. She wants to get her own way either, she just do it differently than FIL. She try to brush her son's actions off as sort off boy's behaviour and undermine him. Neither of them have respect to their son, his choices and his wishes. It's very sad. Neither of them will listen to you and respect your choices for your child in the future.
I think you need to tell them clear and simple that FIL behaviour was unacceptable and he need to apologize (by himself) .

And by the way I don't understand why some people wrote that your PIL will regret about not having contacts with their only child and grandchild, we don't know, may be not. I don't think your FIL is capable to love anyone, truly love. He sounds very selfish.
He certainly thinks that who pays the piper call the tune and hence expensive presents for baby. And he probably was angry that you were not showing enough gratitude for presents hence his reaction for broken glass.

BrendasUmbrella · 04/05/2018 19:40

Cancelling the scan is truly spiteful. So mean spirited. There do seem to be a lot of discount 4d scan packages online, try groupon and wowcher.

mummabearfoyrbabybears · 04/05/2018 19:41

I'd cancel the glass replacement and pay for the scan yourself if you can. I'm so sorry for you OP.

Ladymadness · 04/05/2018 19:42

Cancel the glass and buy the scan.
What a pair of cruel fuckers !
Flowers

EscapistTendencies · 04/05/2018 19:44

Controlling, cruel, nasty people.
You don't want these anywhere near your Dc.

Completely agree, this whole thing has been a blessing OP. Even the scan was gifted on the condition they attended. I'm not getting the pity for the MIL, she is complicit and I'll bet the regular phonecalls were just a way of ensuring they could have a say over every aspect of your baby's life, they even those the pram they wanted, who does that? In your shoes I couldn't see any other option than NC.

McDougal · 04/05/2018 19:46

That's awful. I'm so sorry, op. What petty fuckers they are.

It really seems as if they haven't clicked on yet that this is also their grandchild and not just your child, therefore they're missing out as well as you.

I would love to be a fly on the wall when the replacement glass arrives though!

craigglen · 04/05/2018 19:46

I'm so shocked by this I don't know what to say...... keep your chin up sweetheart x

Ruffian · 04/05/2018 19:48

Wow, FIL's really going for it isn't he? Perhaps he's waiting for you to say how much the scan meant to you so he can go on about how much the glass meant to him or some such bollocks.

He's a very stupid person and one day he's going to be a very lonely stupid person, all through his own fault.

GreenTulips · 04/05/2018 19:49

I think MIL will be beholden to FIL actions

I think DH has snapped and had enough
MIL isn't there yet, bit may never be - I think it's crunch time for her really.

I do think you and DH need to speak to her, she may be frightened

Janus · 04/05/2018 19:49

Oh my, that update is heartbreaking. There’d be no going back for me now. Yesterday I said I’d send them the bloody glass so you don’t ‘owe’ them anything. Now I would definitely return it and pay for my own 4d scan.
It’s truly awful what they’ve done but at least you know who you are dealing with now and can honestly know you can move on having lost nothing Flowers

HoneyBadgerApparently · 04/05/2018 19:49

How cruel of them! That is awful. Sorry OP Flowers

PotteryLady · 04/05/2018 19:50

I would reply that we are not so petty and your glass will be with you next week and attach a copy of the receipt - say enjoy your glass, stand it on the mantle piece in place of the picture of your grandchild. So sorry x

RandomMess · 04/05/2018 19:50
Thanks
maymai · 04/05/2018 19:51

Cancelling the 4D scan is horrific and unforgivable. Was the email from them or the company? Could you ring the company and find out what's happened and explain it was a birthday gift and see if they will honour it?

I am devastated for you. Their behaviour is appalling and lacks any care or love.