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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To meet up with MIL to discuss broken wine glass!

975 replies

pugreverywhere · 04/05/2018 08:38

Can't believe the previous thread reached a thousand posts, thanks so much for your support everyone!

I ended up reading MIL's facebook messages for me this morning. Turns up she wants to meet up at a café this weekend to smooth things over "without the boys knowing". She also said she would bring the egg pram back (?!).

Haven't replied yet. DH was pretty upset last night; not sure if he is actually considering going NC with his father. If so, it wouldn't be fair of me to meet up with his Mum in secret - but she's always been lovely to me and I'd hate for my GC having no GP in his life.
Ugh! Still so gutted over this whole thing.

You have all posted some very good advice so I am going to sit and read through it until I decide what we do now.

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 04/05/2018 19:12

Bloody hell Pug that’s beyond awful Sad

If you had any doubts about whether or not you’d done the right thing, there’s your answer

SecretStash · 04/05/2018 19:12

Bastards.

SunwhereareyouShowyourself · 04/05/2018 19:12

Just seen update.

How spiteful.

Well it makes things easier for you. What bastards. Angry

Aprilmightbemynewname · 04/05/2018 19:13

Well haven't they just sealed their own coffin.
But think on op, you will see your precious bundle and no bloody reason they should after that. Nasty fuckers.

HonkyWonkWoman · 04/05/2018 19:13

Controlling, cruel, nasty people.
You don't want these anywhere near your Dc.
Their loss!

MrsMozart · 04/05/2018 19:14

Oh sweetie. That's shit.

lunamoths · 04/05/2018 19:15

Seriously return the glass when it arrives get a refund and get yourself a 4D scan for you and DH to see your little DC. I can't believe how cruel they have been. I echo PP in that how would you ever be able to take a toddler to their house and be comfortable letting them toddler around?

Aprilmightbemynewname · 04/05/2018 19:17

Have you considered if you replace the glass fil could claim it arrived broken. ...

proudbrows · 04/05/2018 19:20

Return the glass and get the scan!!!

Fightthebear · 04/05/2018 19:20

So sorry you and Mr Pug are in this position op.

FIL bullying and abusive. There’s nothing you could have done to change that. There’s no point trying to keep the peace when there’s no peace to be kept.

The best revenge is to live well.

Thebluedog · 04/05/2018 19:20

I echo everyone who’s said return the glass and book yourself a 4d scam

Jael003 · 04/05/2018 19:21

Oh no, that's awful of them. You definitely don't need that kind of negativity in your life, especially now. I hope you and DH can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and your gorgeous DC when it arrives in peace without worrying about the negative influence your PIL would have had.

Mustardnowletsnotbesilly · 04/05/2018 19:21

What a bastard! NC!!!

CaledonianQueen · 04/05/2018 19:23

I am so sorry OP, you and your DH sound like lovely people, neither of deserve this awful treatment!

You are definitely dealing with a narcissistic sociopath, unfortunately, NC may be the only valid option for the future. Going NC has been life-changing for DH and me, we are so much happier and DH has grown so much in self-esteem and confidence! Our marriage has never been better and our family happier!

I recommended reading Toxic Parents and Toxic In-Laws by Susan Forward in your first thread. I am even more convinced that both books would really help you both!

JammyGem · 04/05/2018 19:24

That's so shit of them. I'm really sorry OP. At least they have shown their true colours before your little one comes along. Flowers

User5trillion · 04/05/2018 19:25

What idiots. They have done it as you haven't jumped quickly enough. In your shoes I would still send the glass, then ignore them. What does your dh think?

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 04/05/2018 19:26

In the same vein as cancel the cheque - return the glass. Arseholes

Ellie56 · 04/05/2018 19:26

That is a truly shit thing to do. Angry

As others have said, return the glass and go and get the 4D scan.

I guess the decision whether or not to meet up with MIL is now very clear.

You and your child don't need these twats in your life.

Take care pug Flowers

StableGenius · 04/05/2018 19:27

Well, let's hope they enjoy their family album full of pictures of money and wineglasses instead of their grandchild.

overgrownwelshwoman · 04/05/2018 19:27

I've been following this thread but not commented before. I just can't believe how much it has escalated Confused
You're FIL was an arse, your Dh responder well. Your MIL has tried her best, in shit circumstances. I feel for your MIL and your DH (and you op). The MIL is in a shot situation because she knows her husband is a shit and is trying to manage it as best she can. She's now been rejected so won't know where to turn. OP are you and DH prepared for going NC, considering they are the only family you have? It's a big decision, make sure you are ready for the outcome Thanks

FairyCrumbs · 04/05/2018 19:28

Nasty fuckers Sad

Storminateapot · 04/05/2018 19:30

So they took your birthday present back? That's disgraceful - and also cutting off their own noses as I bet they were looking forward to it too and they can't see the baby without you!

That's just a despicable thing to do, I'm not sure I could forgive such controlling behaviour. So sorry for you. Tell your MiL you were just waiting for your DH to come home so you could discuss it, as you don't want secrets between you, but you were planning to arrange to meet her to sort this out until you received the email cancelling your scan/birthday gift. Now she can forget it - if it's more important to them to make a petty point by withdrawing gifts than seeing their grandchild then there's nothing more to be said.

aaarrrggghhhh · 04/05/2018 19:32

Good lord! Well despite what some posters are saying my advice from what you've written is don't let the MIL position herself as the victim in all this which is what she'll be trying for now. She's just as toxic as FIL.

You poor poor thing. BUT tbh blessing very well disguised that happened before the bub arrives.

Cripes. Your poor DH.

SunwhereareyouShowyourself · 04/05/2018 19:32

Agree for goodness sake stop glass order and get scan

MackT · 04/05/2018 19:32

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