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AIBU?

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Original poster

PIL has sent be a bill for a broken wine glass

999 replies

pugreverywhere · 03/05/2018 14:55

Yes, had to namechange.

Went to PIL' home last weekend, had a glass of wine and I accidentally dropped it. No big deal, they shrugged it off. I get on well with both FIL and MIL, have been with DH for 4 years now and we are having our first child in 4 months.

They're well off.. as in, VERY well off.. DP and I on the other hand live in a rented 3 bed semi-dettached property so definitely not as well off.

I didn't know at the time, but said wine glass apparently happens to be pretty high end. FIL has this morning sent me an e-mail saying that I can just transfer the £156 to him or buy the glass online. He even attached a link and included their address, should I not know it by now(!).

At first I thought it was a joke only to realise that these people have no sense of humor, so they obviously must be expect me to pay them ASAP. Haven't told DH yet. Really shocked at this as they are not known for being stingy.

AIBU not to pay this? I am tempted to buy a £20 glass off Amazon!

OP posts:
Thebluedog · 03/05/2018 21:16

Well done OP and your DH, I actually think you were right to order the glass, gives you a certain amount of moral high ground (not that you need it), but is a big ‘fuck you’ to your FIL and then he really can’t hold anything against you

SunwhereareyouShowyourself · 03/05/2018 21:16

It's shame he is ordering the glass.

I hope he stands his ground.

This behaviour is dispicable.

diddl · 03/05/2018 21:16

" FIL has been treating him like crap for a while"

Perhaps not entirely unexpected then.

Best to keep a kid away from such shit dynamics imo.

I should imagine it'll be hard.

Although when your baby is born your husband will probably not understand at all how parents can treat a child so shabbily & he'll find it easier to have little/nothing to do with them.

DiddimusStench · 03/05/2018 21:16

Couldn’t to could’ve. Deary me....

IStillMissBlockbuster · 03/05/2018 21:16

Ah man, I feel so sad for you and your DH. FIL has lost all sense and single handedly wrecked their relationship with their son, DIL and grandchild. Well, I hope they like the bed they made.

Is MIL under his thumb? It doesn't sound like she's had much input over this episode. I wonder if the relationship with her can be salvaged at all?

GilligansKitchenIsland · 03/05/2018 21:16

Just read through this whole thread - really hoped it was just going to be FIL having a misguided laugh. Sorry that your inlaws / parents were willing to let the relationship go for something so petty. I hope they sleep on it and come round, but even if they don't your baby is going to have great role models as parents - it's so lovely that Mr Pug was so quick to do the right thing and stand up for your family.

Whisky2014 · 03/05/2018 21:16

A) why dont you suggest they claim it on accidental damage on their home insurance?

B) why are they serving drinks in these glasses at a risk of them being broken by accident?

C) if it was a friend or neighbour who broke the glass, would they have charged them in the same way?

SunwhereareyouShowyourself · 03/05/2018 21:18

I disagree over the moral high ground. I bet fil has mental list of Every cost his son has incurred. To be have high ground he probably needs to give fil cheque for cost of bringing him up.

picklystars · 03/05/2018 21:18

I really feel for your DH. Flowers it's a horrible feeling when the penny drops and you realise your parents aren't who you thought they were and you that they are in fact utter fuckwits

GreenTulips · 03/05/2018 21:18

Am I the only one feeling sorry for MIL here?

Poor woman is stuck in the middle.

picklystars · 03/05/2018 21:18

I really feel for your DH. Flowers it's a horrible feeling when the penny drops and you realise your parents aren't who you thought they were and you that they are in fact utter fuckwits

InsomniacAnonymous · 03/05/2018 21:19

"DH has ordered the glass for FIL btw just as he feels it's best if we don't owe them anything. I know this was hard for him but I hope he stays strong, FIL has been treating him like crap for a while so I don't want him crawling back once DC is born!"

Excellent. Your DH has done the right thing. Now you can both disregard them, as they deserve. Flowers

picklystars · 03/05/2018 21:19

I really feel for your DH. Flowers it's a horrible feeling when the penny drops and you realise your parents aren't who you thought they were and you that they are in fact utter fuckwits.

billybagpuss · 03/05/2018 21:19

Moral high ground or not Mr Pug has behaved with class and dignity Flowers

BrendasUmbrella · 03/05/2018 21:20

It's lovely to read that your DH has your back. It's not something you read about much on here!

Your FIL is an utter idiot to make a fuss about a £156 glass just four short months before his priceless grandchild comes along. He doesn't have long to make amends, I hope he realizes that!

KurriKurri · 03/05/2018 21:20

If you've sent them the glass, I think PIL might choose to read that as 'oh they've come to their senses' and contact you and pretend nothing has happened (mainly because MIL esp. will be panicking that she won't get to see the baby and will want to brush it all under the carpet). So I would be alert to that possibility.

SilverySurfer · 03/05/2018 21:20

Your FiL's behaviour is beyond shocking. Your poor DH must be incredibly hurt but very well done him. Also, what kind of man (especially a rich one, charges his own child to borrow a car?

It's so nice to read of a supportive DH on here, tell him he's one in a million.

Next time you visit (although why would you ever want to go there again) perhaps you should take a plastic glass, paper plate and plastic cutlery.

Good luck OP, I hope you can get over this upset very soon, although it's going to be difficult.

picklystars · 03/05/2018 21:20

I really feel for your DH. Flowers it's a horrible feeling when the penny drops and you realise your parents aren't who you thought they were and that they are in fact utter fuckwits.

DiddimusStench · 03/05/2018 21:21

DH has ordered the glass for FIL btw just as he feels it's best if we don't owe them anything.

I’m a stubborn bitch but I agree with this actually. You always need to stay at least one step higher than these people.

InsomniacAnonymous · 03/05/2018 21:22

"GreenTulips" MIL has taken her husband's side. That was her choice to make. No sympathy earned or deserved.

SunwhereareyouShowyourself · 03/05/2018 21:22

Green my judgement is reserved.. I feel for her but op and her dh must leave it for now she see how things go.

diddl · 03/05/2018 21:22

"Am I the only one feeling sorry for MIL here? "

Maybe-she also sent a request for money rather than knocking the whole thing on the head & telling her husband not to be such a twat.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 03/05/2018 21:23

How bizzarre of them to spend so mich on a pram but chrge you for the glass. I can only imagine wanting to be reimbursed if I said somehing was expensive/ not to touch, etc., and someone went against it and broke it.

SomeKnobend · 03/05/2018 21:24

He doesn't owe him anything. Replacing it suggests FIL was right to expect you to replace it. Take him on Judge Rinder, he'll tell him to get fucked in a lovely posh accent! However, at this point the glass is neither here nor there I suppose, they've shown you what you mean to them. £156 is a bargain if it's the price of cutting off these total cunts. At least your child won't have to deal with their bullshit, and the cats' home will come in for a nice big windfall at inheritance time, so everyone's a winner!

Knittedfairies · 03/05/2018 21:24

I think your husband is right to replace the glass, much as it pains me to say so. Then you don’t owe them anything. End of.

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