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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

PIL has sent be a bill for a broken wine glass

999 replies

pugreverywhere · 03/05/2018 14:55

Yes, had to namechange.

Went to PIL' home last weekend, had a glass of wine and I accidentally dropped it. No big deal, they shrugged it off. I get on well with both FIL and MIL, have been with DH for 4 years now and we are having our first child in 4 months.

They're well off.. as in, VERY well off.. DP and I on the other hand live in a rented 3 bed semi-dettached property so definitely not as well off.

I didn't know at the time, but said wine glass apparently happens to be pretty high end. FIL has this morning sent me an e-mail saying that I can just transfer the £156 to him or buy the glass online. He even attached a link and included their address, should I not know it by now(!).

At first I thought it was a joke only to realise that these people have no sense of humor, so they obviously must be expect me to pay them ASAP. Haven't told DH yet. Really shocked at this as they are not known for being stingy.

AIBU not to pay this? I am tempted to buy a £20 glass off Amazon!

OP posts:

maymai · 03/05/2018 20:42

How sad. Your DH is a legend for sticking up for you. They sound like the kind of parents that want you to have everything but at a cost. To have undermined your choice of travel system was wrong. Forget replacing the glass, they could replace it a thousand times over probably, it's sad they've put a monetary value on family relations.

Things will never be the same after this, sadly. All for £150! They're crazy.

Kezzamo · 03/05/2018 20:42

Another vote for DH being a total hero! FIL defo the villain. Best you find this out now, no nasty surprises in the future. Onward and upward safe in the knowledge mr pug rocks

maymai · 03/05/2018 20:42

Things will never be the same after this, sadly. All for £150! They're crazy.

HappyFeet1212 · 03/05/2018 20:42

Love to Mr Pug. It's hard when the scales finally fall from your eyes.

You will be fine managing your babies' arrival by yourselves. Keep these people at arms length, they are toxic. You are better off on your own.

woodenstag · 03/05/2018 20:42

Aww this is quite sad really. Your fil sounds a bit batshit crazy and now your mil is backing him. I hope you and your dh are ok. Hopefully they will wind their necks in and realise this is all nonsense.

Smurfy23 · 03/05/2018 20:42

This is really sad and a ridiculous overreaction from pil. There is definitely something underlying provoking dfil to react like that but still no excuse. I hope they all calm down and relations improve soon in the mean time ops husband is my hero!

Curiousmoi · 03/05/2018 20:42

@Evangeline3
OP said previously in the thread, she was drinking a mocktail.

woodenstag · 03/05/2018 20:43

M0reGinPlease · 03/05/2018 20:43

Jesus OP. I can see this has clearly come as a bit of a shock but to be honest people don't go this batshit out of the blue. It was going to happen sooner or later. Massive high five to your DH for making a firm stand. If you're lucky they'll realise they can't pull this kind of shit with you. If you're not, you've got many years of batshit behaviour ahead of you. I can foresee a nightmare when your baby is born. Stay firm!

Liara · 03/05/2018 20:44

I have to say, OP, I think you will come to think of this one day as a very good event.

It is clear that your FIL is a very difficult, not to say impossible, person to have a normal healthy relationship with. If your dc was born, and he showed his true colours after the dc had bonded with their gp, it would be that much harder to deal with.

Instead, you are finding at just the right time that your dh 100% has your back and will do whatever is necessary to ensure that you do not have to bend over backwards to pretend that his parents are normal.

When your newborn is here, and you are feeling vulnerable and stretched, that knowledge will prove invaluable. Even if you don't fully appreciate it now, you will come to. Your dh is great.

If you don't believe me, look up any of the threads on here where the OP has been told 'you don't have a PIL problem, you have a DH problem'. They are legion.

MyNameIsNotSteven · 03/05/2018 20:44

Your DC doesn't need that as a grandfather.

Really, why are they using them if they can't afford to replace them? My very best glasses cost £15 each. Wouldn't dream of asking someone to pay for one if they broke it.

Figgygal · 03/05/2018 20:44

Big up your dh
Stand firm against shitty behaviour like that god knows what they'll be like when baby is here

Liara · 03/05/2018 20:44

XP with more gin, who said it better than me!

Evangeline3 · 03/05/2018 20:45

@Curiousmoi Right, didn't see that. Just read the question which said she was drinking wine.

BerylStreep · 03/05/2018 20:45

This seems to have really escalated, but I suspect this was always going to happen sooner or later.

FIL appears to value material things, and is using them to buy control over you and his son.

The fact that you are not financially well off is probably a major source of disappointment for your FIL, and he clearly disrespects both of you for it

sciencemad · 03/05/2018 20:45

It sounds to me as though they're trying to put you in your place (bottom of the pack) before the baby comes along.

Excited101 · 03/05/2018 20:45

Anyone can have money but not anyone can be happy. Your poor DH, his parents are showi their true colours and I should imagine it has been a LONG time coming!

PlanesOverMe · 03/05/2018 20:46

Evangeline - RTFT before making snarky judgmental posts.

TheShapeofYou · 03/05/2018 20:46

Just read the whole thread. I'm so sorry for you and your DH right now, but agree with others when they say it's them not you.

How silly and selfish they're being at what should be the happiest time of your lives

Well done to your DH for standing up for you (mine certainly wouldn't have - he's petrified of his Mum!).

and for you.

SunwhereareyouShowyourself · 03/05/2018 20:46

This will definitely make something like the the Wright stuff.

I can see it now

Would you charge your pregnant dil for a wine glass even if one cost.. 156..

InsomniacAnonymous · 03/05/2018 20:47

Evangeline3 "Wine, pregnant?"

No. If you read the thread you will see that the OP said "I wasn't drinking alcohol btw lol, it was one of those mocktails served in this fancy glass!"

SunwhereareyouShowyourself · 03/05/2018 20:47

sciencemad

That's a very interesting take on this...

Foxysoxy10 · 03/05/2018 20:48

Good on your DH! He did the right thing.

God knows how he has come by strong morals and common sense as it sounds like his parents have neither!

I am really shocked at his parents. There must be something you don’t know behind it all. I honestly cannot believe people are really that batshit in real life without some sort of reason. (Maybe they are closet meth heads)

I would be ignoring both of his parents for a very long time (probably indefinitely)

TrappedWind · 03/05/2018 20:49

Well, they have proven that money certainly can't buy class!

What a foolish pair they are. A horrible situation for your DH but, he's proved himself to be a truly decent man, who is not going to put up with such unforgivable behaviour from his parents.

I hope they feel suitably embarrassed right now.