PIL has sent be a bill for a broken wine glass

[pugreverywhere]

Yes, had to namechange.

Went to PIL' home last weekend, had a glass of wine and I accidentally dropped it. No big deal, they shrugged it off. I get on well with both FIL and MIL, have been with DH for 4 years now and we are having our first child in 4 months.

They're well off.. as in, VERY well off.. DP and I on the other hand live in a rented 3 bed semi-dettached property so definitely not as well off.

I didn't know at the time, but said wine glass apparently happens to be pretty high end. FIL has this morning sent me an e-mail saying that I can just transfer the £156 to him or buy the glass online. He even attached a link and included their address, should I not know it by now(!).

At first I thought it was a joke only to realise that these people have no sense of humor, so they obviously must be expect me to pay them ASAP. Haven't told DH yet. Really shocked at this as they are not known for being stingy.

AIBU not to pay this? I am tempted to buy a £20 glass off Amazon!

Wow! Hopefully you can all sort it out to a solution you're comfortable with.

Just reply "ha ha!"

I would also quietly send the replacement glass

Too many people on mumsnet equate "keeping the moral high ground" with being a doormat.

Mr Pug did the right thing, but I guess he is feeling pretty low since he now knows he comes second to a wineglass.... If it’s any consolation Mr Pug, you seem to have gained quite a fan club!

Your fil is bonkers 😂 its not as if you deliberately dropped the wine glass

You've set out your boundaries very well, he definitely uses money as a form of control.

Sounds like FIL knows the price of everything but the value of nothing.

This.

Not RTFT polly?

What a shame that something so minor has soured your relationship so quickly, it doesn't sound like there will be any going back now.

'I would quietly return the car eith petrol and fee.
I would also quietly send the replacement glass.

I think you want to keep the moral high ground here. '

Why continue to kowtow to such a bullying twat? Or doing it quietly? Sounds like they've been a bit shit to their son (charging him to use a surplus car for a bit) and he's finally had enough of it and isn't going to take it anymore. Bravo! That's the 'moral high ground' here, not letting them treat him and his family like shit anymore. She's already said they don't have the money for hte glass, anyhow.

The ball's in their court now, they want a relationship they know where to find their son.

Good on him!

He definitely did the right thing (lucky it is not like father like son).

I wonder why the glass went from £156 to £60 to replace?

If the OP and her husband replace the glass that should be the absolute end of it. No more visits. Debt repaid, no more contact necessary or wanted.

Consider how you would ever be able to visit with a dc and possible mishaps.
....

You’re both in for a difficult time ahead I’m afraid.

It is very difficult to mentally process things like this, and you might feel like you have had a bereavement; after all, you don’t have the relationship you thought you had.

Been through similar with my ILs - fil irrevocably proved himself to be the asshat I knew he was to dh and they haven’t spoken in 2.5 years. It’s hard. And the guilt I feel that they don’t talk essentially because of a (sort of) verbal attack on me can be a bit overwhelming at times.

Be kind to each other, and remember that you 2 (soon to be 3) are a team. You don’t need manipulative benefactors in your lives.

When I think of all the things MIL has broken, or shrunk in my house, over the years...

Billing someone for accidents like this is just not done, it's like throwing a bomb into family relationships. I wonder when your MIL will realise what has been lost. Very sad for your DH

"I wonder why the glass went from £156 to £60 to replace?"

Presumably, that was the MIL's attempt at saying a part payment would be sufficient.

Wine, pregnant?

It is extremely sad. The OP and her DH don't deserve this at all. Just dreadful.

Oh my, what have I just read!

You have your own little family now, your DH well and truly stepped up. Your in laws are loons and it's actually really sad that over an accident they are prepared to throw everything away - £156, very very sad people.

Take care of yourselves, it is entirely them and not you x

So sad. I hope you and your DH are ok x

This is one of the craziest things ive ever heard! Who expects someone to have £156 lying around spare to replace wine glasses... particularly a pregnant close relative!!? I mean WTAF?

And who even uses wine glasses that expensive unless they can afford to loose some? Wine glasses often get broken. Ive got some ones that were pretty expensive (wedding gift) and I only get them out for new years toast or other very special events... certainly dont use them for general drinking because I cant afford to be replacing them all the time and I would NEVER charge a guest for breaking them.

Your FIL is fully nuts!! Like properly and fully nuts!
Please dont feel guilty because I thin the vast majority of the population on earth would side with you. FIL is behaving very very oddly.
Well done to your DH for backing you up and not being a push over!

Evangeline she was drinking a non alcoholic drink in a wine glass and also a pregnant woman can have a glass of wine ffs!

Another vote for DH being a total hero! FIL defo the villain. Best you find this out now, no nasty surprises in the future. Onward and upward safe in the knowledge mr pug rocks

OP, your husband is a gem and as he will soon be a father himself I'm so glad he has the integrity and emotional literacy not to follow his own fathers patterns of behaviour. Well done that man!

What a depressing update although at least others have pointed out dh is willing to take your side.

I just hope that they reflect and realise how ridiculous they are being