Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

PIL has sent be a bill for a broken wine glass

999 replies

pugreverywhere · 03/05/2018 14:55

Yes, had to namechange.

Went to PIL' home last weekend, had a glass of wine and I accidentally dropped it. No big deal, they shrugged it off. I get on well with both FIL and MIL, have been with DH for 4 years now and we are having our first child in 4 months.

They're well off.. as in, VERY well off.. DP and I on the other hand live in a rented 3 bed semi-dettached property so definitely not as well off.

I didn't know at the time, but said wine glass apparently happens to be pretty high end. FIL has this morning sent me an e-mail saying that I can just transfer the £156 to him or buy the glass online. He even attached a link and included their address, should I not know it by now(!).

At first I thought it was a joke only to realise that these people have no sense of humor, so they obviously must be expect me to pay them ASAP. Haven't told DH yet. Really shocked at this as they are not known for being stingy.

AIBU not to pay this? I am tempted to buy a £20 glass off Amazon!

OP posts:
mrsFruitLoops · 03/05/2018 20:10

oh wow....just wow!!!

I would be glad dh is taking the things back, could you imagine if baby is sick on the pram, or has a poonami in the crib.... youd be getting billed for them....or would they be billing the baby???

Original poster
pugreverywhere · 03/05/2018 20:13

Well my DH is now home and quite upset. They didn't open the gate for him so he walked around the back of the house and left it over their fence.. MIL has tried to ring us both several times but we didn't pick up, got a text from FIL saying "never to ask for anything again" and that he will expect the car back by sunday with a full tank of gas and the remaining fee.. Lol.

I am going to show my DH all your replies to make him feel better. His father has been his hero his entire life so he is feeling utterly crap right now.

OP posts:
NotARegularPenguin · 03/05/2018 20:13

Please take a plastic beaker and plate with you next time you visit and refuse to use anything but those to drink and eat from. For the next 20 years!

AppleKatie · 03/05/2018 20:13

Shock well Done your DH. I think MIL is on your side but trying to walk the tightrope of unreasonable FIL here.

SneakyGremlins · 03/05/2018 20:13

Please take it back with an empty tank. Prick Angry

InsomniacAnonymous · 03/05/2018 20:14

"It would be a pity for your DC not to know what wonderful people his GPs can be."

"Wonderful people" ajandjjmum? Really? They clearly value money above anything. Where is the love?

imnotreally · 03/05/2018 20:15

Oh poor dh. I’m so sorry.

SunwhereareyouShowyourself · 03/05/2018 20:15

Wow Shock.

I think this is the best thing that could happen to you right now. Unfortunately as hard as it is you have to stand up to them.

expatinscotland · 03/05/2018 20:15

They didn't open the gate to speak to their own son?! WTAF?! I'd hand them back the car but no fee. What a complete twat to charge your son a fee to borrow a surplus car. I feel sorry for your h having such shite parents but hey, show him the Stately Homes threads. There's definitely life after toxic family members! Good on him.

IbizaLovesSundays · 03/05/2018 20:15

Expensive glasses for anyone curious www.havens.co.uk/waterford-crystal-colleen-claret-wine-glass-3756p.html?utm_source=googleShopping&utm_medium=pla&utm_campaign=products&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI7_ftitvp2gIVTbDtCh0ojwbUEAQYByABEgLiUfD_BwE

Holy s#%t! My parents have a whole dresser full of those Waterford crystal glasses, champagne, wine, whisky tumbler, tall glass, short glass... I had NO IDEA! No wonder it was drilled into us as kids that those didn't go in the dishwasher!

NotARegularPenguin · 03/05/2018 20:16

Ah, read your last few posts....guess visiting might be off the cards for a bit. I’m sorry.

Hygge · 03/05/2018 20:16

pug That's really crap for your DH, sounds like MIL is aware of the what this means for the future but FIL isn't (or doesn't care). Sorry they weren't more reasonable when he arrived. I suspect you'll be waiting a long time for FIL to apologise for this.

smartiecake · 03/05/2018 20:16

Another one here saying glad you have taken the baby things back. You said initially you didnt want to cause any problems as your inlaws had been so good with buying lots for the baby. If they do this then you may feel indebted to them and that changes the family dynamics, and you may feel pressurised into Situations you are not happy with. Much better to be independent from them and not let them control any situations. £156 for a fathers day present is ridiculous. We probably spend 15 quid ish on our dads. They have everything they want and would say not to bother wasting our money and to Spend it on us and the kids instead. Your FIL has behaved appallingly. Do not buy that poxy glass

livingthegoodlife · 03/05/2018 20:16

your husband is an absolute hero. well done him. and you. im completely shocked by your in-laws behaviour. i'd be tempted not to talk to them again until they realise how silly they've been,

elisenbrunnen · 03/05/2018 20:17

Dear oh lord - what a pratt the FIL is!

Never ask for anything? I hope he also never asks for anything from his son either.

How old is he????? Grin

CornforthWhite · 03/05/2018 20:17

I'm very sad for your DH.
Be strong for him. They've acted badly. I'm not sure it's been the right thing to return the items, but hopefully the dust will settle and you should act as peacemaker when that time comes.

Bluelady · 03/05/2018 20:17

This is making me really sad. What stupid, stupid people to cause all this unpleasantness over a fucking glass. Absolutely heartbreaking and to jeopardise their relationship with their only son and first grandchild - just awful.

McDougal · 03/05/2018 20:17

What a ridiculous situation over a glass! Completely agree that you should not buy glasses if you don't want to see them used as no one can predict an accident.

I do feel for your DH, but you have both done nothing wrong. Hopefully your MIL will be able to talk some sense into FIL and you both get an apology.

What an idiot he is being when they have a first grandchild on the way. He obviously likes the sweat the small (and expensive) stuff Confused

shortsaint · 03/05/2018 20:17

I'd be livid. But... reading through this (fascinating) thread there is something that has clearly really irked him. Probably better than you sit down and talk about what has prompted him to ask - especially as they seem so generous in other areas.

Returning the stuff they got for you could cause all sorts of long term problems. And you really don't want that. Especially as you've said you actually like(d) them!

blueskyinmarch · 03/05/2018 20:18

How very odd for this to all blow up out of nowhere.

expatinscotland · 03/05/2018 20:18

As for your MIL, well, she had a chance to speak to her son when he came over, why didn't she? Think I'd take a break from the pair of them for a few days. As it is if I were super well off I could not see my child living in a rented 3 bed semi whilst I lived in a big gated house.

CornforthWhite · 03/05/2018 20:18

I'm very sad for your DH.
Be strong for him. They've acted badly. I'm not sure it's been the right thing to return the items, but hopefully the dust will settle and you should act as peacemaker when that time comes.
Return the car and don't let them have any holds over you in the future. They aren't kind people.

HotSauceCommittee · 03/05/2018 20:18

I think it is very hurtful, but your DH might quickly come to feel his own autonomy, the “hang on, we are the grown up sensible adults here and I am no longer the child” lightbulb moment you get when as an adult, your parent has been unreasonable and you’ve politely, calmly and unbendingly stood up to them. Now both remain calm and level while they both have histrionics (adult temper tantrum) to up the ante and try to reassert dominance which no longer exists.

Lweji · 03/05/2018 20:19

I've just come across this thread, but RESPECT to your OH.

I hope they apologise and peace is restored, though.

smartiecake · 03/05/2018 20:19

Full tank of petrol and the remaining fee Shock speechless
He owes you a massive apology. When they come back wanting a relationship with you because of the baby keep things friendly but civil, be wary of your FIL this sounds like his true colours

Swipe left for the next trending thread