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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

PIL has sent be a bill for a broken wine glass

999 replies

pugreverywhere · 03/05/2018 14:55

Yes, had to namechange.

Went to PIL' home last weekend, had a glass of wine and I accidentally dropped it. No big deal, they shrugged it off. I get on well with both FIL and MIL, have been with DH for 4 years now and we are having our first child in 4 months.

They're well off.. as in, VERY well off.. DP and I on the other hand live in a rented 3 bed semi-dettached property so definitely not as well off.

I didn't know at the time, but said wine glass apparently happens to be pretty high end. FIL has this morning sent me an e-mail saying that I can just transfer the £156 to him or buy the glass online. He even attached a link and included their address, should I not know it by now(!).

At first I thought it was a joke only to realise that these people have no sense of humor, so they obviously must be expect me to pay them ASAP. Haven't told DH yet. Really shocked at this as they are not known for being stingy.

AIBU not to pay this? I am tempted to buy a £20 glass off Amazon!

OP posts:
GnotherGnu · 03/05/2018 19:08

If I broke something at someone else’s house I would offer to replace it and expect to do so. Your FIL is rude to ask, but it’s even poorer form that the OP didn’t offer in the first place.

I wouldn't say that that's poor form if the owner is making it pretty clear that they don't really care, which seems to be the vibe that OP was getting initially. If someone broke on of our cheap and cheerful glasses, for instance, I'm reasonably sure my response would be a quick "never mind, we'll just sweep that up" which doesn't really suggest I'm pissed off and looking for money. If I'd got out our naice crystal wedding present glasses and they broke one accidentally, my reaction would be pretty similar, though I might well be inwardly cursing myself for being so stupid as to use those glasses.

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 03/05/2018 19:09

Glad you're returning the gifts, must admit I'd love to see FIL's face when your DH rocks up with it all. Can't believe he's being so petty over a wine glass - it's a stupid item to have spent £156, but an even stupider sum of money to have valued his relationship with his DIL at.

For context, one of my friends came to stay and I gave her a drink in a pretty glass that was part of a set - also a wedding present. Within 10 minutes she'd accidentally dropped it and smashed it. I laughed and called her a daft moo because I am sane and if it had been some sort of sacred object I wouldn't have given it to her to use in the first place!

BrendasUmbrella · 03/05/2018 19:09

Canthose then wouldn't he have contacted his son?

RandomAccess · 03/05/2018 19:09

I've got £156 wine glasses - who knew?! They were a wedding present 20+ years ago from my parents' best friends - cost £40 each

No you haven't, you have £40 wine glasses.

Jux · 03/05/2018 19:09

I like the Bailo spiral glasses linked upthread. They are gorgeous. Were your FIL's glasses like that? In which case EnvyEnvyEnvy

Teateaandmoretea · 03/05/2018 19:10

re: the porridge bowl, he'd only recently admitted to knocking the toothpaste out of the bathroom window after denying it for weeks, I'd simply had enough

Hahahaha GrinGrinGrin

I really think the porridge bowl was a scapegoat for a doomed relationship Grin

ToadsforJustice · 03/05/2018 19:11

I don't think it's an overreaction to return the baby stuff. The overreaction is asking for payment for a broken glass.

Mooey89 · 03/05/2018 19:12

Christ in a bike, FIL is batshit

lunar1 · 03/05/2018 19:12

This thread went from funny to really sad very quickly. I'm so sorry op, but really glad your DH isn't taking their nonsense.

MissBax · 03/05/2018 19:12

CF'ery at its finest!

timeisnotaline · 03/05/2018 19:12

Well done to your dh. Longer term the relationship with mil might be salvageable but only if your dh is the one taking the stand. I know it feels like things have blown up but really it can only be a good thing establishing basic parameters of behaviour at this point. I have some nice things - not as expensive as that, but some aren’t replaceable and I wouldn’t get them out to use without assuming there may be breakages because that’s life with things people use like glasses and plates.

GreyGardens88 · 03/05/2018 19:13

I can barely believe this is real. I'd return all the gifts they've given you and go NC

Original poster
pugreverywhere · 03/05/2018 19:13

Well, it's too late not to take the stuff back now, my dh just left! MIL sent a text saying dont you dare come drop that stuff off, we spent a fortune on that.. He texted back saying that if they don't let him in (they have a locked gate), he will just leave it there by the side. So I guess the damage is definitely done now.. Kind of proud of my DH but at the same time also gutted that it went to this.

This is their first grandchild and DH is an only child so not sure this is all worth it over a glass..

If I wasn't preggers I'd be having a glass myself right now.. but even without the alcohol I am not sure whether to laugh or to cry!

OP posts:
getoutofthebath · 03/05/2018 19:13

In my head these in laws are like a less jolly version of Steph and Dom from Gogglebox

expatinscotland · 03/05/2018 19:15

What if the OP doesn't have £156 to hand over? 'I'd just pay them.' How do you do this if you don't have that kind of money? What if you don't even have 60 quid laying around to hand over? Think they are definitely doing the right thing returning the gifts and not paying for it, because at least the dynamic has been set and they know not to take their baby there once he/she is mobile or they'll be billed for accidents. Who charges their child to use their car for a bit when they're totally loaded, for that matter?

Nanny0gg · 03/05/2018 19:15

Good for him!

And they're going to be the losers.

youwouldthink · 03/05/2018 19:15

How could you ever relax again in that house? Imagine having a toddler there! They are unhinged..

Andylion · 03/05/2018 19:16

It's rare to see a poster whose DH so immediately, and unequivocally, supports her against his parents.

pointythings · 03/05/2018 19:16

Your MIL said 'don't you dare'? Oh dear... I'm sorry this has gone so far so fast, but if your PILs want this fixed, it's up to them to sort it. A major grovelling apology from your FIL would be a logical start. Probably won't happen though.

StaplesCorner · 03/05/2018 19:16

I type "stupid greedy git" and then I thought no, hang on, not so stupid - he's been waiting for just such an opportunity to engineer a family feud in which he will and MiL will no doubt be the poor victims.

Return everything, rent a car from a rental place instead of from him (greed again, renting a car to your own son), wait till they come to apologise and then spend the rest of your married life watching your back.

AmazingPostVoices · 03/05/2018 19:16

don't you dare

That’s very odd way to talk to an adult.

Does your DH work for one of the businesses?

Lethaldrizzle · 03/05/2018 19:16

Sounds like everyone's been pandering to this crazy man all his life.

Juells · 03/05/2018 19:17

MIL sent a text saying dont you dare come drop that stuff off, we spent a fortune on that..

How did she know he was on his way?

MrFMercury · 03/05/2018 19:17

Well they started it and they're the ones who are going to miss out on seeing their grandchild. More fool them!

StrangeLookingParasite · 03/05/2018 19:17

Unbelievable. We buy Ikea glasses because we keep smashing the stupid things in the ridiculous ceramic sink that's here. (Never install porcelaine sinks, they smash everything).
In the unlikely event that you ever darken their door again, I'd take a sippy cup and insist on using it.
Shit, Riedel's aren't even that expensive, and they're a pair of grasping twats, frankly. Fancy charging family for breakages, or for using a second car. Tight as a fish's bum.