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AIBU?

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Original poster

PIL has sent be a bill for a broken wine glass

999 replies

pugreverywhere · 03/05/2018 14:55

Yes, had to namechange.

Went to PIL' home last weekend, had a glass of wine and I accidentally dropped it. No big deal, they shrugged it off. I get on well with both FIL and MIL, have been with DH for 4 years now and we are having our first child in 4 months.

They're well off.. as in, VERY well off.. DP and I on the other hand live in a rented 3 bed semi-dettached property so definitely not as well off.

I didn't know at the time, but said wine glass apparently happens to be pretty high end. FIL has this morning sent me an e-mail saying that I can just transfer the £156 to him or buy the glass online. He even attached a link and included their address, should I not know it by now(!).

At first I thought it was a joke only to realise that these people have no sense of humor, so they obviously must be expect me to pay them ASAP. Haven't told DH yet. Really shocked at this as they are not known for being stingy.

AIBU not to pay this? I am tempted to buy a £20 glass off Amazon!

OP posts:
SomeKnobend · 03/05/2018 18:51

He's saying he won't accept the glass as a gift because, having broken one, he feels you owe it to him to replace it.

Don't replace it as a father's day present. I wouldn't buy him a father's day present at all after this tbh.

I would be tempted to say having thought about it, you don't think you are liable for the glass and will not be replacing it. advise him he is welcome to take the matter to the small claims court if he disagrees.

Also mention that, on another note, if they invite you to visit them at any time in future the invitation will be understood to be on the basis that you will not be held liable for any accidental damage which occurs during the visit.

If they do invite you ever again, don't bloody go!

FASH84 · 03/05/2018 18:52

@icantcopeanymore yep, there's one called Cath kidston addicts and another called Cath kidston Preloved, the people are nice and if they don't have them they are the people with the knowledge about where you might find them. Sorry for hi-jacking OP....

howrudeforme · 03/05/2018 18:52

That’s why they are well off. They’re tight even with family.

pointythings · 03/05/2018 18:53

Thing is, when people show their true colours, it's good to take notice. It's a shame MIL is pandering to FIL, but that's probably part of their dynamic. Good on your DH for having a spine and returning the posh baby stuff. His parents have a lot of fences to mend and don't seem to be very nice people.

I'm sorry they turned out to have feet of clay.

FruitLoopety · 03/05/2018 18:53

www.swarovski.com/Web_GB/en/1095947/product/Crystalline_White_Wine_Glasses_(Set_of_2).html

I have been coveting these for about 15 years. Bargain at only 130 each too! Grin

I will buy them after I leave Dh to become a footballer's wife.

InsomniacAnonymous · 03/05/2018 18:54

Have you mentioned insurance OP?

Nanny0gg · 03/05/2018 18:54

Well done your DH. They can return all the expensive baby stuff and use the money to buy a replacement glass.

Ohmydayslove · 03/05/2018 18:54

Fuck me!!! My dil broke a glass at ours last weekend. Not being a knob I was horrified she lost valuable wine and replaced and refilled asap.

Honestly op I wouldn’t engage and tell them clearly you can’t risk bringing baby to them as you can’t afford bills for accidental damage and obviously if he coukd send them to you as you are family just as much grandchild is you can’t take the risk.

They sound hideous

theculture · 03/05/2018 18:55

They are behaving appallingly

One of the things that happens in pregnancy it that all the joints get looser ready for birth - people get clumsier . . . It's really rubbish how this is turning out

Thanks
TotHappy · 03/05/2018 18:55

They're being horrible. Fil was obviously deliberately ignoring his son's phone calls. I'm so sorry for you because like you say, this has ruined things. I think if it was my parents I'd give the pram back and ask them to get their money back on that too. But why have they done this??
Actually I think my first response would have been what Jux said. Then of they'd insisted, return the pram.

expatinscotland · 03/05/2018 18:55

You'll be fine, you don't really want or need so-called family like this. They know the price of everything and that value of nothing and you'd never be able to take your baby there once he's/she's mobile for fear you'll be billed if the baby accidentally breaks something.

pointythings · 03/05/2018 18:56

And I too clicked on the Moda Operandi site and now have the ads popping up everywhere. Bloody hell, I wouldn't pay that much for stuff even if I won the Lottery. They probably think their customers all have the word 'MUG' tattooed on their foreheads in invisible ink...

SomeKnobend · 03/05/2018 18:57

X-posted. I see you're returning their gifts. Good idea. They can reimburse themselves through a refund or selling it all. Yes the relationship is ruined now, but at least you've found out that they're stark raving mad now. Give the car back now - if it breaks down they'll be asking you for thousands. Cut the CFs off and consider it a lucky escape.

Ohmydayslove · 03/05/2018 18:57

early stages of dementia

Grin love mumsnet. No he’s just a tit head.

rainbowstardrops · 03/05/2018 18:58

So FIL/MIL have previously rocked up with a pram even though you'd bought your own?!!!
BATSHHIT CRAZY!!!!!

I can't believe you and your DH offered to pay for it as his Father's Day present! What were you thinking?!!!

I'd contact MIL and if she's as batshit as him then I'd back quietly out of the door and run!

Jeez, I thought my outlaws in-laws were weird

flumpybear · 03/05/2018 18:58

Buy some crappy 99p glasses and suggest they give these to their guests in future

rumbelina · 03/05/2018 18:58

Who the FUCK serves drinks in £150 glasses??? If you have expensive stuff that can break either lock it away or take it on the chin if it gets broken.

I’m so sorry this has marred your relationship with MIL, OP. But they have caused it, not you. Remember that!

5amisnotmorning · 03/05/2018 18:58

I would offer to pay and just say that you cannot afford to immediately replace it. It will take 6 months to save up and then you will buy one. If that doesn't shame him nothing will. And then don't visit again.

blueskyinmarch · 03/05/2018 18:58

Well done your DH.

AmazingPostVoices · 03/05/2018 18:59

Price of a single wine glass: £156

Price of a good relationship with your DIL and mother of your Grandchild: Priceless.

Sad

Personally OP I’d quietly pay for the glass.
Return the car ASAP
Not be visiting for quite a while.
Not be available for cosy “how are you chats” with MIL for a while.

This incident is quite revealing. think I’d suspect they think you are just a vessel for their grandchild.

Hygge · 03/05/2018 19:00

PetulantPolecat - appropriate name, I like it.

"She wasn't told something because she's sane" doesn't make any sense.

Good of you to miss out the rest of my post.

I think the PILs have gone about this the wrong way, and I don't think they've throught through the impact it could have on their relationship with their son, daughter-in-law, grandchild. But something of theirs is broken and they want it to be replaced.

Us bickering over whether it's fair to ask for a phone to be replaced but not a glass makes no difference. They have asked because they do feel that way, it's important to them, but I think they were short-sighted.

TotHappy · 03/05/2018 19:00

This reply has been deleted

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PleaseAndThanks · 03/05/2018 19:00

Wow good on your DH for not taking this BS!

hammeringinmyhead · 03/05/2018 19:00

They wouldn't have done this if their son broke it.

mrcharlie · 03/05/2018 19:01

In all honesty, it sounds as if they don't actually like you OP.
Who in their right mind would invoice their DIL. Considering you're pregnant and carrying their grandchild, any normal person would be far more concerned that no one cut themselves.

It's actually got me really angry this thread, in that some fuckwits place more importance on materialistic objects than loving family members.

Personally, I would NEVER EVER visit them again until he apologised for his disgusting manners.

They sound absolutely vile.