To feel robbed of a delivery experience

[callmehannahbaker]

I was in labour for 2 hours, I pushed for 14 minutes. I had 20 people in ready to rush me for a c section but I pushed against their wishes.

I only have that from notes-I remember none of it.

I watch OBEM and wish I had an experience of birth.

Aibu to wish I had a birth I remembered?

Thank you for all of the helpful posts, I will speak to my therapist about this I think.

What I find interesting Louisa is that not everyone gets PTSD or even reacts the same way to stressful or traumatic situations. I wonder why that is

Everyone is different, everyone's experiences are different.

Examples:

Look at ACEs (adverse childhood experiences), a protective factor is having an adult who is supportive. So the child from an abusive home who is written off by everyone else is likely to fair worse than the child who had a teacher who believed in them. Same home life, different outcome.

One of the risk factors for birth trauma is a previous trauma, so person a might be fine with being induced, while person b will find it invasive because it reawakens feelings from a previous trauma.

And they are just simple, straightforward examples.

Sounds like a good plan callmehannahbaker

Doesn't being resilient come with experience? You aren't born that way. Most people who are strong and resilient are those who have gone through trauma and come out the other side in one albeit bashed up piece and have then gone on to heal and these experiences make them stronger. Someone who has led a cushy life is usually not resilient at all.

I can tell you although giving birth V it's a quicker recovery the pain is like no other. Almost unbearable.
Don't feel cheated the important thing it's to both being ok.
Who know you may have your wish in the future with another baby.

The grass is always greener but that shouldn't detract from your experience.

I binge watched OBEM when I was pregnant. I had all sorts of flights of fancy about how my birth experience would pan out. But, of course, it didn't work out that way.

After 3 days of slow labour I was admitted to the ward where my waters were broken. They were full of meconium yet no one batted an eyelid until they monitored by daughters heart beat. Then it was all systems go into theatre for a c-section where they were unable to numb me sufficiently. Cue hysteria from me terrified they were going to cut me open while I could feel it.

They eventually put me under, so my DP missed the birth as well as me. I didn't hear her first cry or see her. I was just handed a clean, sleeping baby an hour later.

Rationally, I know it could have been a million times worse. I could have died, or worse she could have. But I still feel robbed of that experience and I had quite severe PND following it.

Don't let anybody tell you're irrational or wrong. You feel how you feel but it is not forever. Don't compare but reflect and rationalise and when you're ready try and let it go as best you can.

Everyone has their own delivery experience... & you had yours.

I think what you meant to say was you wish it was like TV.

Tv makes it look "lovely"... the reality might have been very different.