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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being treated like her unpaid skivvy! AIBU?

266 replies

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 20:55

Apologies this is so long....Ok so quick bit of back story. I live overseas and relocated last summer. I had to live in my new home country for 6 months before I could work, and then apply for a work permit so I’m currently job hunting and doing odd dog walking / cat sitting jobs to fill my time and for a bit of pocket money.

I met a girl who lives in my street a few months back and we became friendly. I would say we have got together maybe 3/4 times over the past few months either to go for walks or have a glass of wine, but don’t chat in between meet ups. We’re friendly but I wouldn’t quite call her a friend.

Anyway. Said girl is going on holiday for 10 nights and sends me a text on the day before she leaves to ask if I can sit her dog whilst she is away. 10 days is quite a commitment as she has to be walked 4 times a day and I know she is taking advantage of the fact that I don’t work. I said I could only do it if she could cover some costs as I wouldn’t be able to commit to any other sitting jobs during that time. She already mentioned that she would be paying £30 a day if she hired a stranger but she would much rather have someone local and known to her do it and could we agree on £20 per day, so I agreed.

She told me her flight was leaving late on the Friday so I just needed to do the evening walk and then the usual 4 visits between then and her returning. Here is the start of the cheekiness....!

Firstly I then woke up on the Friday morning to a barrage of texts from her sent at 5am. Supposedly they mixed up their flights and they left at the crack of dawn that day - meaning I then had to dive out of bed to run over to take the dog out as she had been in all night without a pee etc and have an additional day of walking.

When I got to the house, I saw that there are two lots of medication set out on the side for the dog, to be administered morning and evening. This is not a major issue, but was not mentioned during any discussion on looking after the dog.

There was also no money left for me as payment. Now, I would never ask for money from a friend or a family member for helping out with something like this, but as we only know each other briefly and it was agreed that this was a paid sitting job, I was expected the payment to be left for me. No payment, no mention in any of the texts that I woke up to about when she would pay me.

I then go to feed the dog after her first walk. Huge big bag of dog food with probably 3 days worth of food in (they are away for 10 days!) Quick look around did not find any extra food so I text her to find out if there was any additional food. Got a text back 8 hours later saying “ooops I forgot to check how much was left”. I replied to say there was only a couple of days left, to which she said she would order a bag on amazon fresh. I said I’d happily buy the dog food if she sent me the cash by bank transfer - no reply.
2 days later, no dog food has turned up, the bag is now empty and she hasn’t replied to tell me what’s going on. I guess she’s assuming I’m just going to buy it - I’ve not had an income in 7 months so I’m certainly not in a position to do that (the food they have is a huge £40 bag!).

Messaged again this morning asking if they’re having a good holiday and whether she ordered food. Again, no reply however I know she has been on her phone as she has been updating photos from their holiday about an hour ago. Also I should add that with where they are in holiday, there is very little chance that she is not receiving the texts due to signal etc. She has also not once asked if the dog is ok, if everything is ok with the house etc - it’s been 4 days since they left.

So my AIBU is would if be out of order of me to message her to say I can only look after the dog until the end of the week and then she will have to hire a sitter? I’m now going to have to buy dog food as I wouldn’t dream of just leaving the dog without (I actually feel really sorry for her), but I just feel she is treating me like a bit of a mug as she thinks I have nothing better to do with my time.

OP posts:
Beeziekn33ze · 03/05/2018 02:09

Tequila - send her an invoice for your hours worked. Why shouldn't she pay you?

AhNowTed · 03/05/2018 02:17

OP no, I don't believe folks in the states are any different.

Your 'friend' has a fucking nerve.

Nobody in their right mind would do this.

Original poster
tequilamockingbird123 · 03/05/2018 02:22

She’s not a friend!! I stated that quite clearly in the OP. And yep, folks here are very different, I can’t generalise a whole country of course, but the state I’m in, people are laid back, cheeky shits. Trust me, I’m living it! - that’s not to say these CF aren’t everywhere!

OP posts:
BasilFaulty · 03/05/2018 02:25

Anyone who uses the words 'monies' is automatically a dickend so YANBU

Hope you get it sorted. Poor dog.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/05/2018 02:43

Exactly. I even send ddog off to the Dogsitter with medication in case he gets ill - he has a tendency to get an upset stomach about 3 times a year so I now keep supplies.

Basil
The term monies (or moneys) is used in legal and finance. Of ocourse there is no singular “a money” and therefore in reality shouldn’t be a plural. But it’s been used for decades, possibly more. Not a recent Americanisation.

Daifuku9 · 03/05/2018 02:57

I’m an American. No, that’s not normal behavior and really, she’s a POS. I feel so bad for that dog.

KTheGrey · 03/05/2018 04:03

Facebook picture of dog looking cute and preferably sad, with sad message as if dog has written it explaining that Dog Mummy doesn't care enough to leave her enough food or pay a walker. Diarise all interactions as though you are dog, heartbroken that dog Mummy doesn't care about you.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/05/2018 04:14

KTheGrey Grin. Good plan!

Shadow666 · 03/05/2018 04:22

Leave a friendly note on the fridge.

Hey, hope you had a great holiday. You owe me xxx dollars for the pet sitting. If you could drop it round this week that would be great. See ya!

You’re owed the money. There’s no harm in asking for it.

BasilFaulty · 03/05/2018 04:34

mummy lots of words are 'officialy' correct, doesn't stop them being stupid words Grin

Janus · 03/05/2018 04:45

Have to say I sometimes pay my dog sitter when I get back but I have used this lady for years and she knows I will pay. So maybe she will come good with the payment? Especially as you are neighbours and she has to see you pretty often?
If she does come back and say she can’t find anyone to look after the dog I would say something like ‘as you know, I am new to this country and haven’t been able to work yet, therefore to save any embarrassment could you send me the whole agreed fee of $x and I will happily continue with the dog care and I will need this by Friday’. She’s maybe so daft she hasn’t thought about what you are doing for money and just thinks you can wait until she’s organised enough to give you some!

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/05/2018 04:49

Basil
Can’t get het up about this one. Grin Some of the made up words otoh...

flowerslemonade · 03/05/2018 05:16

What a horrid person. she probably knows itsstressing u out and doesnt care :(

Sweetpea55 · 03/05/2018 05:27

Glad it's sorted in part but being a kind person I bet you're still worried about the dog. Can you see from your apartment if someone turns up to walk little dog,?

Nunya · 03/05/2018 05:32

Maybe she was always planning to pay for the dog sitting after the job was done? It's not unheard of to be paid after the work is completed, is it? Did you ever discuss when payment was expected prior to her leaving for her trip or did you just assume you would be paid upfront? She didn't bother to tell you about the dog's daily medications upfront either. She certainly doesn't sound very organized.

Original poster
tequilamockingbird123 · 03/05/2018 05:34

KtheGrey that’s genius 😀

OP posts:
Original poster
tequilamockingbird123 · 03/05/2018 05:36

Yes maybe, but she has now transferred me cash for the dog food with no mention of payment for the sitting. Sure, she may pay me when she gets back but I’m not holding my breath. Not even so much as a thank you or a mention of the dog when she’s messaged about the food!

OP posts:
123MothergotafleA · 03/05/2018 05:56

I hope that any children she has will fare better than the dog.
Funnily enough, I have a friend who's lived in The States for many years, and she has several stories of Cheekyfuckery. Hmm......

Devilishpyjamas · 03/05/2018 05:57

I used to run a pet sitting business. Didn’t do dogs if they were being left overnight (they need boarding IMO) but it is normal to be paid at the start of the job, not at the end. My contract was in advance and when I leave my dog with a boarder it is always in advance. She won’t pay you now unless you are very direct and insistent.

I had a feeling you were going to say you were in the States - used to belong to some American pet sitting forums - and yeah the attitude is a bit different.

You can be pretty blunt though and just demand payment. What’s that saying ‘Americans are nice until they’re not’. So they’re much friendlier, warmer than us until you do something that upsets them when they immediately call you out on it. They expect others to do the same to them though.

I’d text back that you’ve left the key so she owes you x amount. She’ll surely be having to pay a pet sitter by bank transfer now. Doubt you’ll get it if you’re blunt then she can’t pretend she didn’t understand your British reserve.

Poor doggy :(

Hortonlovesahoo · 03/05/2018 06:11

I’d definitely be pushing for payment now and follow up when she gets back. She’s taking the piss and as you said: she’s not a friend so you’ve not got that to lose

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/05/2018 06:16

Didn’t mention the dog or a thank you? That’s because you’re staff and you’ll be lucky if you’re paid staff. Get business like as suggested by Devilish.

RainySeptember · 03/05/2018 06:18

I think it's awful that she only messaged you the day before she left, didn't leave enough food, and ignored your messages.

But I wouldn't expect to pay someone for a job until it was finished, unless they'd specifically requested it.

And after you'd agreed to do the full ten days I think it's wrong that you then text her to say that she needs to find someone else for the last few days, while she's away on holiday.

So really I can see both sides. She thinks she's got pet care sorted, has every intention of paying you on her return, and doesn't understand why you can't just pick up a bag of food since she didn't notice how low it was. She's probably annoyed that you agreed to do it and are now giving her problems to sort out.

Meanwhile, you're worried that she won't pay you, and can't afford to pay out £40 for food.

Devilishpyjamas · 03/05/2018 06:23

Rainy - you wouldn’t get much pet sitting done then. It is entirely usual to pay pet sitters in advance (usually leave the money so it’s there on first visit).

I did have a client who sometimes forgot (bit scatty)- she was always hugely apologetic and would pay immediately on return. I had clients of lots of different nationalities as well (presumably British families more likely up have family etc who would do it) - none of them needed spelling out that it was payment in advance/at the time - so I don’t think it’s a British thing.

Slartybartfast · 03/05/2018 06:23

When i do dog sitting they pay me half before and half after, and if they forget the food. i buy some and they reimburse however they dont mind if i change the brand. she has no rights calling those sorts of shots

Devilishpyjamas · 03/05/2018 06:27

And it’s not usual to expect pet sitters to pick up food! I ran out of food once in years of pet sitting (that was chicken food!). I eventually stopped sitting for him because he was a bit of a nightmare. (Not because of the food, that was a pita, but just one of many irritations).