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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being treated like her unpaid skivvy! AIBU?

266 replies

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 20:55

Apologies this is so long....Ok so quick bit of back story. I live overseas and relocated last summer. I had to live in my new home country for 6 months before I could work, and then apply for a work permit so I’m currently job hunting and doing odd dog walking / cat sitting jobs to fill my time and for a bit of pocket money.

I met a girl who lives in my street a few months back and we became friendly. I would say we have got together maybe 3/4 times over the past few months either to go for walks or have a glass of wine, but don’t chat in between meet ups. We’re friendly but I wouldn’t quite call her a friend.

Anyway. Said girl is going on holiday for 10 nights and sends me a text on the day before she leaves to ask if I can sit her dog whilst she is away. 10 days is quite a commitment as she has to be walked 4 times a day and I know she is taking advantage of the fact that I don’t work. I said I could only do it if she could cover some costs as I wouldn’t be able to commit to any other sitting jobs during that time. She already mentioned that she would be paying £30 a day if she hired a stranger but she would much rather have someone local and known to her do it and could we agree on £20 per day, so I agreed.

She told me her flight was leaving late on the Friday so I just needed to do the evening walk and then the usual 4 visits between then and her returning. Here is the start of the cheekiness....!

Firstly I then woke up on the Friday morning to a barrage of texts from her sent at 5am. Supposedly they mixed up their flights and they left at the crack of dawn that day - meaning I then had to dive out of bed to run over to take the dog out as she had been in all night without a pee etc and have an additional day of walking.

When I got to the house, I saw that there are two lots of medication set out on the side for the dog, to be administered morning and evening. This is not a major issue, but was not mentioned during any discussion on looking after the dog.

There was also no money left for me as payment. Now, I would never ask for money from a friend or a family member for helping out with something like this, but as we only know each other briefly and it was agreed that this was a paid sitting job, I was expected the payment to be left for me. No payment, no mention in any of the texts that I woke up to about when she would pay me.

I then go to feed the dog after her first walk. Huge big bag of dog food with probably 3 days worth of food in (they are away for 10 days!) Quick look around did not find any extra food so I text her to find out if there was any additional food. Got a text back 8 hours later saying “ooops I forgot to check how much was left”. I replied to say there was only a couple of days left, to which she said she would order a bag on amazon fresh. I said I’d happily buy the dog food if she sent me the cash by bank transfer - no reply.
2 days later, no dog food has turned up, the bag is now empty and she hasn’t replied to tell me what’s going on. I guess she’s assuming I’m just going to buy it - I’ve not had an income in 7 months so I’m certainly not in a position to do that (the food they have is a huge £40 bag!).

Messaged again this morning asking if they’re having a good holiday and whether she ordered food. Again, no reply however I know she has been on her phone as she has been updating photos from their holiday about an hour ago. Also I should add that with where they are in holiday, there is very little chance that she is not receiving the texts due to signal etc. She has also not once asked if the dog is ok, if everything is ok with the house etc - it’s been 4 days since they left.

So my AIBU is would if be out of order of me to message her to say I can only look after the dog until the end of the week and then she will have to hire a sitter? I’m now going to have to buy dog food as I wouldn’t dream of just leaving the dog without (I actually feel really sorry for her), but I just feel she is treating me like a bit of a mug as she thinks I have nothing better to do with my time.

OP posts:
TomRavenscroft · 03/05/2018 10:57

Oops, I think I missed a few posts.

Glad you've got the food money, but definitely text back 'received the food money; just need the sitting money now –thanks!'

Don't let her get away with not paying you.

Lottie4 · 03/05/2018 11:16

OP, I just can't believe any caring owner would leave their pet (let alone you) in this situation. If we're going away, I normally explain exactly what needs to be done, leave it typed out, leave far more food than required and also money in case of an emergency.

emmyrose2000 · 03/05/2018 11:21

"You only seem to have sent over the money for the first two days sitting? Please send the rest - xxx for the xxx days sitting + $40 for the food so I can head out"

This is how I'd handle it.

Basically play dumb and act as though of course she's not going to renege on paying you personally so the money she's just sent is for you. She's obviously planning on/hoping she can get away with not paying you personally, but hopefully she's got at least 1% decency in her not to deny her dog food, so will cough up more money for that.

RandomMess · 03/05/2018 12:06

Just buy a weeks supply of good but yes play innocent that she hasn't sent enough!!!!

Alwayslumpyporridge · 03/05/2018 12:11

I would have just called her about the food tbh, she did offer to order it but you said that you would get it? sounds like a massive miscommunication and she likely didn’t understand how short for cash you are. When I have had pet sitters I settled the bill at the end of the week not in advance, maybe she thought the same?

gillybeanz · 03/05/2018 12:33

Can you just link this thread to fb, problem solved.

SuperCargo · 03/05/2018 12:55

I wish I’d never read this thread as now I’m going to be worried about that poor dog from Saturday onwards and that no one is looking after it or feeding it.

tequilamockingbird123 · 03/05/2018 15:28

Sorry I’ve not replied, only just seen everyone’s messages due to time difference.

It’s nice to see that most people think I’m not being unreasonable here.

In regards to the comments of me “liking the attention” and “ruining someone’s holiday” what a ridiculous comment. Did you just feel like you wanted to comment on the thread but had nothing of any sense to contribute?

I haven’t spoken to her since last night, the last I left it with her was that I should leave the key after walking the dog on Saturday morning but she is going to confirm.

I’ve done as much as I can - I’m not going to spy on her house or get another key cut so I can make sure the dog is ok. If she tells me that she has covered it with someone, then I’ll believe her. Like I said, she’s not a dog murderer just an absolute cheeky f@&ker!

OP posts:
RainySeptember · 03/05/2018 18:24

I'm in the uk but use pet sitters a lot, have done for decades really, and have always paid on my return. I've always left enough food though. I do think, if you want payment upfront, you should make that clear.

tequilamockingbird123 · 03/05/2018 22:10

I’ve used pet sitters in both the UK and US and would never dream of not paying upfront. Particularly as she knows I’ve been sitting for other people and said I wouldn’t take on any others jobs during that time as it was such a commitment. You’ve just had very laid back sitters in the past!

OP posts:
Janus · 03/05/2018 22:25

Actually tequila, all of mine (licensed, fully insured and this is their only job) have at most asked for a deposit. This includes a kennels I also used at Christmas as all my dog sitters (I use 3!) were fully booked. Most just ask me to pay when I get back but if I’m going away for something like 3 weeks I give them a good chunk of it upfront, never been actually asked to though. If you have a kitchen painted, you pay at the end, a carpenter, pay at the end, ie when job is complete. This why I think she may well pay you but be surprised you are asking for it in the middle of the job unless you had asked her to pay upfront? Sometimes flights get delayed or we may stay an extra day or two if it suits our dog sitter so this is why most just wait until you get home just so that the correct money is given.

Maelstrop · 03/05/2018 22:26

I’ve never paid upfront, although I’ve never used a pet sitter. Every kennel has always required payment on collection.

RiotAndAlarum · 04/05/2018 06:56

Even if "most" or "many" pet-sitters don't require payment until after the job, I don't blame the OP for agitating to be paid now,.under these circumstances. The CF dog-owner has already added extra responsibility (administering medicine) and expense (oh, just buy my expensive dog food), without discussion. It always shocks me when well-off people want those less well-off to subsidise them.

Eatalot · 04/05/2018 10:18

Dont buy food. Either she sends money now or the dog goes to a shelter. Be strong.

RainySeptember · 04/05/2018 16:14

She's already sent money for the food.

pigpoglet · 04/05/2018 16:30

I didn't think it was ok to leave a dog on its own in the home even if you are walking it 4 x a day . She sounds awful , I'd ask her for the sitting money now !

tequilamockingbird123 · 04/05/2018 16:40

@Janus, read the thread. I’ve not asked her payment. Not once.

I’ve asked her for the money for food, which she sent after 2 days.

OP posts:
tequilamockingbird123 · 04/05/2018 16:41

She sent me a message last night asking if I’d bought the food. I replied to say that I had and I’d also bought some more pill pockets as there hadnt been enough of those either. No reply 🙄

OP posts:
NamechangerT1000 · 04/05/2018 17:03

Cheeky fuck indeed. I love the utter blatant bullshit of "haven't had my phone" while uploading pics all day that nobody wants to see as other peoples holiday pics are boring as fuck.
I think I would send a text saying 'glad you have sorted out money transfers now as it will be easier than you giving me cash on your return for my worked days. Total will be: £... for x number of days plus £... for anything extra.. Please forward this promptly as as agreed before your holiday, I have turned down other clients to fit you in at a discounted rate. Many thanks'
You have been more than reasonable. I hope you get your money!

Janus · 04/05/2018 17:46

Tequila, I didn’t say you had asked her but you have mentioned ‘I expected the payment to be left’ and being bothered (I have read the entire thread and commented a few time trying to help you) that she didn’t pay you upfront so I was just trying to be positive and say she may still pay. Sorry for trying to help though.

Daifuku9 · 04/05/2018 18:32

I’ve had a pet sitter once, and I paid up front. If there had been any need for extra time, I would’ve transferred that bit. I certainly left plenty of food, treats, and litter, asked how she was.

I hope you get paid, and without getting the runaround from this inconsiderate as Hell woman. I am of the opinion that she is trying to take advantage of you, and I can’t understand why she didn’t prepare better, or why she doesn’t ask about the poor dog.

Daifuku9 · 04/05/2018 18:33

*to pay for extra time

BellyBean · 04/05/2018 19:01

Ah could you have bought just enough food and kept the rest as payment? Too late now

tequilamockingbird123 · 05/05/2018 03:28

It’s done now. She still hasn’t confirmed who she has sorted to look after the dog after tomorrow morning. I messaged her to ask today and her response was:

“I am trying. Waiting on a response, if I don’t hear back I’ll hire someone from wag.”

No thanks for driving to Costco to get food, or buying the extra treats. Or for looking after the dog this far. It’s just laughable really.

OP posts:
RainySeptember · 05/05/2018 07:41

Why would she thank you? You agreed to cover the full holiday and have now told her to find someone else, which she's trying to sort out from her holiday. As far as she's concerned, you've let her down. Obviously we know you're not happy that she didn't leave payment or leave enough food, but if her usual sitter or company are happy to pay on return or pick up food, then she'll have no idea why you're so annoyed.