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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being treated like her unpaid skivvy! AIBU?

266 replies

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 20:55

Apologies this is so long....Ok so quick bit of back story. I live overseas and relocated last summer. I had to live in my new home country for 6 months before I could work, and then apply for a work permit so I’m currently job hunting and doing odd dog walking / cat sitting jobs to fill my time and for a bit of pocket money.

I met a girl who lives in my street a few months back and we became friendly. I would say we have got together maybe 3/4 times over the past few months either to go for walks or have a glass of wine, but don’t chat in between meet ups. We’re friendly but I wouldn’t quite call her a friend.

Anyway. Said girl is going on holiday for 10 nights and sends me a text on the day before she leaves to ask if I can sit her dog whilst she is away. 10 days is quite a commitment as she has to be walked 4 times a day and I know she is taking advantage of the fact that I don’t work. I said I could only do it if she could cover some costs as I wouldn’t be able to commit to any other sitting jobs during that time. She already mentioned that she would be paying £30 a day if she hired a stranger but she would much rather have someone local and known to her do it and could we agree on £20 per day, so I agreed.

She told me her flight was leaving late on the Friday so I just needed to do the evening walk and then the usual 4 visits between then and her returning. Here is the start of the cheekiness....!

Firstly I then woke up on the Friday morning to a barrage of texts from her sent at 5am. Supposedly they mixed up their flights and they left at the crack of dawn that day - meaning I then had to dive out of bed to run over to take the dog out as she had been in all night without a pee etc and have an additional day of walking.

When I got to the house, I saw that there are two lots of medication set out on the side for the dog, to be administered morning and evening. This is not a major issue, but was not mentioned during any discussion on looking after the dog.

There was also no money left for me as payment. Now, I would never ask for money from a friend or a family member for helping out with something like this, but as we only know each other briefly and it was agreed that this was a paid sitting job, I was expected the payment to be left for me. No payment, no mention in any of the texts that I woke up to about when she would pay me.

I then go to feed the dog after her first walk. Huge big bag of dog food with probably 3 days worth of food in (they are away for 10 days!) Quick look around did not find any extra food so I text her to find out if there was any additional food. Got a text back 8 hours later saying “ooops I forgot to check how much was left”. I replied to say there was only a couple of days left, to which she said she would order a bag on amazon fresh. I said I’d happily buy the dog food if she sent me the cash by bank transfer - no reply.
2 days later, no dog food has turned up, the bag is now empty and she hasn’t replied to tell me what’s going on. I guess she’s assuming I’m just going to buy it - I’ve not had an income in 7 months so I’m certainly not in a position to do that (the food they have is a huge £40 bag!).

Messaged again this morning asking if they’re having a good holiday and whether she ordered food. Again, no reply however I know she has been on her phone as she has been updating photos from their holiday about an hour ago. Also I should add that with where they are in holiday, there is very little chance that she is not receiving the texts due to signal etc. She has also not once asked if the dog is ok, if everything is ok with the house etc - it’s been 4 days since they left.

So my AIBU is would if be out of order of me to message her to say I can only look after the dog until the end of the week and then she will have to hire a sitter? I’m now going to have to buy dog food as I wouldn’t dream of just leaving the dog without (I actually feel really sorry for her), but I just feel she is treating me like a bit of a mug as she thinks I have nothing better to do with my time.

OP posts:
Shenanagins · 02/05/2018 21:19

Actually, go the Facebook route and say you are posting on it as she’s not responding to your messages about food, payment etc. Let everyone see how shit a dog owner is.

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 21:21

Thanks everyone. I’m glad no one else thinks this is ok either - I was wondering if I was overreacting tbh. I’ve sent her a message to say I can’t do it after Friday. I’ll buy some dog food today and just put it down as a lesson learned.

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 02/05/2018 21:21

I wouldn't send her a message in writing saying you've been called away on a family emergency or whatevs, and can't look after the dog any longer. If you're trying to establish a business providing pet care then she could twist that to make you look unreliable to any potential (paying!) customers, and it could bite you on the arse hard.

Reporting to the RSPCA is probably your best bet. It's not coming from a place of spite; it's honestly in the poor dog's best interest right now.

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 21:23

@saucy I’m not trying to establish a business, I’m just looking after neighbours pets. I actually have a job starting Monday after next, which makes these last 2 weeks of not being at work even more precious!

OP posts:
eddielizzard · 02/05/2018 21:24

wow.

i agree with phoning her. although of course you shouldn't have to. if she doesn't pick up i would give her an ultimatum and then stick to it.

cf'ery at it's finest.

WeirdyMcBeardy · 02/05/2018 21:24

Tell her that money for food and your payment needs transferring now as previously agreed. Publically on her facebook. Cheeky cow.

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 21:24

Where do these people come from?! 😂

I actually have a job starting on the 14th so I’m trying to make the most of my last couple of free weeks and agreed to look after the dog as a favour!

OP posts:
FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 02/05/2018 21:24

I would put it on her FB wall. I had to do that once to my landlords wife re a neglected pony in the field behind our house. She had someone round to collect it within an hour...

aaarrrggghhhh · 02/05/2018 21:24

Oh my god that poor dog!! So is it all alone in the house for 10 days apart from walks? Yeah okay 4 walks is about right - but dogs also need company apart from walks!!!

I just cancelled a trip to Europe because I wasn't happy with the trial sleepover night my dog had with a new sitter. What AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL dog owners.

You are not being even remotely unreasonable.

The shelter idea sounds good in theory but in reality it would be really horrible and stressful for the dog.

I would spell out very clearly in a text that her approach is neglectful. And you will not be looking after the dog anymore. But I would actually of course still look after the dog!

Is there a spare change jar or anything in the house you could take money from for the food.

I'm so sad for the dog and for you.

PlumsGalore · 02/05/2018 21:25

I wòuld also do the shelter card. She isn't going to be a friend now whatever happens and you won't get paid. I would send one last text and be a pro the point,

Hi CF, as you haven't responded to my texts, left any food, any money for food or for me dog sitting I have no alternative but to take doggy to the RSPCA or equivalent and tell then she has been been abandoned. Then go quiet and let her sweat.

Whether you do or don't, and I would fall soft and not do it, I would still send a bloody text and pretend I was.

Cheeky mare.

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 21:25

I would phone her but can’t really. I’m abroad with a UK phone still - she’s from my new home country but in another country.

OP posts:
aaarrrggghhhh · 02/05/2018 21:25

Oh and if you know her on Facebook I would plaster this ALL OVER IT

Cagliostro · 02/05/2018 21:27

Actually, go the Facebook route and say you are posting on it as she’s not responding to your messages about food, payment etc. Let everyone see how shit a dog owner is.

My first thought too, shame her on FB by commenting on all her lovely holiday photos. Including “thought I’d better post here since you clearly aren’t getting my texts...”

Poor pooch :(

Ghostontoast · 02/05/2018 21:27

Has she got a landline you can call her mobile on?

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 21:28

Yes, I’ve been trying to spend a bit of time at the house with her when I can’t but I can’t dedicate a whole 10 days to her - she is so sweet I would have her staying with me if I didn’t have 3 cats!

OP posts:
ChiefSuspect · 02/05/2018 21:28

Yes, message on FB what PlumsGalore wrote.

Very cheeky and neglectful. Is there a camera at the house? Can she see you coming and going?

Els1e · 02/05/2018 21:28

Definitely kidnap the dog. Have fun and wait for supposed owner to show up. Then give her bill/ransom.

CocoaGin · 02/05/2018 21:29

I would honestly report it to the RSPCA. If she can afford a bloody holiday, she can afford to feed her dog. She's chosen not to.

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 02/05/2018 21:29

OP is not in the UK .

Troels · 02/05/2018 21:31

I'd write a reply to the next picture up on facebook. Nice to see you're having a good time, pity you have left your dog with no food and no money t buy any, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Is there some sort of animal control or dog rescue place that might help by supplying food and billing her.

lifechangesforever · 02/05/2018 21:33

Ummm.. are you seriously saying that the dog has been left home alone whilst she's gone on holiday?!

aaarrrggghhhh · 02/05/2018 21:35

oh another thought - although I strongly suspect that the horrible woman didn't tell you - but do you know the vet details where the dog is registered? If so maybe give them a call and explain the situation?

C0untDucku1a · 02/05/2018 21:35

I would not buy the dog food. Message saying the food has run out and you either need the money for dog sitting and the money for food in yur bank now, or youll have to take her to a shelter.

aaarrrggghhhh · 02/05/2018 21:37

oh sorry one other idea - maybe give a breed specific rescue a call? They might have an emergency foster? I know that if I knew a Cavalier was at home all alone for ten days there would be an AVALANCHE of offers to take it in!

UrsulaPandress · 02/05/2018 21:38

So sad to read.