Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being treated like her unpaid skivvy! AIBU?

266 replies

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 20:55

Apologies this is so long....Ok so quick bit of back story. I live overseas and relocated last summer. I had to live in my new home country for 6 months before I could work, and then apply for a work permit so I’m currently job hunting and doing odd dog walking / cat sitting jobs to fill my time and for a bit of pocket money.

I met a girl who lives in my street a few months back and we became friendly. I would say we have got together maybe 3/4 times over the past few months either to go for walks or have a glass of wine, but don’t chat in between meet ups. We’re friendly but I wouldn’t quite call her a friend.

Anyway. Said girl is going on holiday for 10 nights and sends me a text on the day before she leaves to ask if I can sit her dog whilst she is away. 10 days is quite a commitment as she has to be walked 4 times a day and I know she is taking advantage of the fact that I don’t work. I said I could only do it if she could cover some costs as I wouldn’t be able to commit to any other sitting jobs during that time. She already mentioned that she would be paying £30 a day if she hired a stranger but she would much rather have someone local and known to her do it and could we agree on £20 per day, so I agreed.

She told me her flight was leaving late on the Friday so I just needed to do the evening walk and then the usual 4 visits between then and her returning. Here is the start of the cheekiness....!

Firstly I then woke up on the Friday morning to a barrage of texts from her sent at 5am. Supposedly they mixed up their flights and they left at the crack of dawn that day - meaning I then had to dive out of bed to run over to take the dog out as she had been in all night without a pee etc and have an additional day of walking.

When I got to the house, I saw that there are two lots of medication set out on the side for the dog, to be administered morning and evening. This is not a major issue, but was not mentioned during any discussion on looking after the dog.

There was also no money left for me as payment. Now, I would never ask for money from a friend or a family member for helping out with something like this, but as we only know each other briefly and it was agreed that this was a paid sitting job, I was expected the payment to be left for me. No payment, no mention in any of the texts that I woke up to about when she would pay me.

I then go to feed the dog after her first walk. Huge big bag of dog food with probably 3 days worth of food in (they are away for 10 days!) Quick look around did not find any extra food so I text her to find out if there was any additional food. Got a text back 8 hours later saying “ooops I forgot to check how much was left”. I replied to say there was only a couple of days left, to which she said she would order a bag on amazon fresh. I said I’d happily buy the dog food if she sent me the cash by bank transfer - no reply.
2 days later, no dog food has turned up, the bag is now empty and she hasn’t replied to tell me what’s going on. I guess she’s assuming I’m just going to buy it - I’ve not had an income in 7 months so I’m certainly not in a position to do that (the food they have is a huge £40 bag!).

Messaged again this morning asking if they’re having a good holiday and whether she ordered food. Again, no reply however I know she has been on her phone as she has been updating photos from their holiday about an hour ago. Also I should add that with where they are in holiday, there is very little chance that she is not receiving the texts due to signal etc. She has also not once asked if the dog is ok, if everything is ok with the house etc - it’s been 4 days since they left.

So my AIBU is would if be out of order of me to message her to say I can only look after the dog until the end of the week and then she will have to hire a sitter? I’m now going to have to buy dog food as I wouldn’t dream of just leaving the dog without (I actually feel really sorry for her), but I just feel she is treating me like a bit of a mug as she thinks I have nothing better to do with my time.

OP posts:
tequilamockingbird123 · 03/05/2018 00:04

She’s just sent me the money.... for the food only.

OP posts:
imamum21 · 03/05/2018 00:06

i would have text saying i have no money to buy dog food so if you are not sending the money i will leave key in a safe place and you can sort something else out as i dont have the heart to take the dog out a walk knowing there is no food! if you dont reply within the hour im going to have to call someone to collect the dog and take it to a rescue shelter, you told me i would be paid for this if you had left the money i could have used that to buy dog food until you came home, sorry

OreoMini · 03/05/2018 00:06

Message her straight back now saying ‘you forgot to pay me also, can you send that now please’

Cheeky bint

Blit · 03/05/2018 00:09

I feel for you OP, you're a decent person who cares about the dog and it's being used against you. That doesn't make you a mug or a pushover.

tolerable · 03/05/2018 00:09

@tequilamockingbird123 - "have you read thread/comments" query. heres how i do it, i click on the aibu question,read it,occasionally give me opinion,then read through others responses...i dunno if thats standard practice or not but...my response was what i think based on what you op.ok

Aridane · 03/05/2018 00:16

Well, that’s something

tequilamockingbird123 · 03/05/2018 00:18

Thanks for all the responses guys. It’s been settled that I’ll walk him on Saturday morning and then leave the key under the mat. She’s so casual about it I genuinely don’t think she realises how much of a dick she has been about the whole thing but lesson learned for me!

OP posts:
Jamiefraserskilt · 03/05/2018 00:18

thanks for sending the money to feed gorgeous dog. I cannot find the money for the sitting fee we discussed. I have looked for an envelope containing the agreed fee of £xxx but can't see it anywhere here. You may have forgotten that too, in the rush for your flight? Can you also send that over today please?

Wait for no response.

Please send my sitting fee as we discussed. If you are unable to pay me as agreed, I will need to hand over her care to another sitter that you will need to arrange, from there, on Friday.

Jamiefraserskilt · 03/05/2018 00:19

X post!

tequilamockingbird123 · 03/05/2018 00:27

Thanks @Jamie. She’s not british so I have to wonder if this is considered an OK way to handle situations like this here. Who knows, I’m just happy it’s sorted.

OP posts:
TemptressofWaikiki · 03/05/2018 00:44

Oh OP, I am so sorry to hear that she stiffed you. It’s easy to hoik our judgy pants up and act all Rambo-like behind our computer screens. But despite my own outrage on your behalf and admittedly, not exactly sensible input Grin, I would be a softie too because unlike other examples of pisstaking, there is a sweet dog that would otherwise suffer. I guess you can still try to get your money when this CF gets back. I would really shame her in person. I feel so angered on your behalf and hate to see someone so shitty and act so self-centred about their pet but I would not let it out on the innocent doggie either despite the previous posts and this does not make you a door mat but a caring person.

tequilamockingbird123 · 03/05/2018 00:49

I do wonder how many of the shouty, confrontational people would actually follow through personally with half of the advice they spout on here tbh. Yea it’s a shame but it’s not a major biggie - the dog is sweet and I like walking her and I now know this girl is not friend material 😬

OP posts:
KeiTeNgeNge · 03/05/2018 00:55

Its not confrontational to send a message saying 'thanks for the bank transfer but you forgot to send (insert agreed amount) for walking and medicating the dog. Can you send this to me asap please.

SuperCargo · 03/05/2018 01:06

Look I’m sorry if you’ve got caught up in this OP, and it’s not your responsibility but what is going to happen to the poor wee dog from Saturday onwards? How do you know she’s definitely got someone else coming in?

I wouldn’t be able to just walk away regardless if the owners is being a cheeky fucker. I’d be so worried about the dog. When are they coming back? They hadn’t even made sure the poor thing had enough food, ffs.

And am, after just reading the thread! I feel so sad for the poor dog. And stressed!

tequilamockingbird123 · 03/05/2018 01:17

She has told me she is in the process of getting it sorted. I don’t think she would leave the dog with no one to walk her, she is just taking the piss with me because she knows I’ll do it and she’ll prob get away without paying me I now think.

OP posts:
AhNowTed · 03/05/2018 01:26

@tequilamockingbird123

Please don't let her get away without paying you.

These cheeky fuckers get away with it because we allow them to.

You are well within your rights and common decency to ask for payment.

Please do so.

Monty27 · 03/05/2018 01:37

Tell her you are calling dog rescue!

Motoko · 03/05/2018 01:37

She's such a liar! No phone my arse! How did she manage to take the pictures and post those FB updates?

Leaving the key under the mat? Why is she not getting the person to pick the key up from you? How will you know if someone actually is going in to the dog?

Ask her for the rest of the money she owes you too. If she ignores your text, post it on FB, she won't ignore that.

tequilamockingbird123 · 03/05/2018 01:47

Because I’m guessing she’s going to be using a company to look after the dog and I’m not willing to hang around all day Saturday waiting for someone to collect a key from me. I picked the key up from under the mat and I’ll be putting it back there.

Like I said, I don’t believe that she’ll leave the dog without anybody looking after it for 5 days - she’ll come back to a dead dog! But I do think if she can’t find anyone, she’ll come back to me asking if I can fit it in with my schedule!

OP posts:
tequilamockingbird123 · 03/05/2018 01:48

But yea, total bullshit on the phone thing! I don’t really post much to Facebook so I’m thinking she forgot we were friends on there and would see that she has posted!

OP posts:
Jazzy11 · 03/05/2018 02:01

Ooh I’m Intrigued to know which country you are InHmm
She’s been so bloody cheeky! Unfortunately some people actually can’t see how unreasonable they are being! You’ve gone the right way about it though

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/05/2018 02:03

If she doesn’t pay you I’d then post on Facebook tbh. Good on you for getting the money for the food. What sort of dog owner doesn’t ensure there’s enough food!

tequilamockingbird123 · 03/05/2018 02:04

I’m in the States. The culture and attitude is soooo different - unexpectedly so. So maybe this is normal 🤷🏽‍♀️

OP posts:
tequilamockingbird123 · 03/05/2018 02:05

Unbelievable isn’t it? I’d never dream of going away without making sure I had everything needed and more for my cats!

OP posts:
MidniteScribbler · 03/05/2018 02:07

Total CFer and a shit dog owner.